To ask if you shield your kids from technology?

[fuzzypicklehead]

Had an interesting visit from some relatives this week, with a much different approach to education and child-rearing than my own and it's left me pondering.

I let my own kids (2 and 4) watch (selective)tv, and probably have it on more than we should in the winter when the weather is crap. They have some Leapfrog type reading and writing toys, and I will also let them have limited, supervised use of my laptop, ipod and wii. I try to balance it with arts/crafts/sensory activities, board games and traditional toys (cars, dolls, cookers, etc) and plenty of running around and playing time.

Our relatives have a much different view of technology. They don't have a TV, or use battery operated toys, video games, etc. Their children attend a non-traditional school (I think we're not supposed to mention them on mumsnet) where there is also no technology and exposure to reading/writing is delayed until 7.

I guess I was just struck by the Mum's reaction when the kids wanted to share their toys and especially when they asked to play together on the wii. She was visibly uncomfortable, almost anxious when her kids were trying out these things which were obviously completely new to them. Almost as though the technology was dirty and she was worried her kids would be damaged or corrupted by it.

I know it's not recommended to let kids watch TV before 2 years old, but is it that weird to let toddlers access technology after 2 as a part of a balanced routine?

It is madness. Technology is a key part of modern life.

I can understand the desire to limit certain things, but to deprive your children of the chance to learn about technology and how to use modern technology is stupid.

DD has always been allowed access to technology as part of our daily life.
She's 9y now and has her own technology as well as joint family stuff. She seems fine so far :)

My daughter was also always allowed access to technology. She's now 18 and my own personal IT department.

I think I saw your friends guest-ing in that Harrison Ford movie "Witness"

BIWI- that's kind of how I see it. I know technology will change, but I can't see how practicing through play with a keyboard, touch screen or mouse will cause any harm if it's balanced.

I came across someone with similar views recently and it did get me thinking. In my case, child was 5 or so. On the one hand yes, better the child is painting/running round/using imaginative play etc than on the CBeebies website. But to stop access to anything like that - really misguided, I think. It is part of "normal" life now.

In the case I'm thinking of, the parent's main concern seemed to be that technology etc stifled imagination - that you don't have to come up with any ideas yourself, because the internet/console/TV provides it for you, so technology stops you being creative, it stops you from having to think. I disagree - I think it gives you more to think about, more scope for your imagination/creativity to develop.

They choose differently than you. So what?

And you seem to judging her even though it appears she said nothing at all and let them play on your wii anyway. Whats your problem?

It's daft, IMHO, to go to such lengths to avoid technology. However, it is part of the belief system which underpins one specific group of non-traditional school, almost certainly the one you're talking about. So yes, she is uncomfortable about it, either because she believes what those schools have told her about modern technology, or more likely because she is worried that the children will mention having played with such things and she will be judged for allowing it.

without my kids none of the technology in our house would be switched on. I am useless and they seem to be naturals.

The world is technologically driven. Your friends approach is daft and may well put her children at a disadvantage later in life. They will certainly be missing out on social references.

Giving children age appropriate opportunities to use technology, absolutely. Shielding them from it entirely is a bad idea, which won't help them in the future. I'm currently doing research on information literacy, and it's bad news in England...kids in this country are able to find information, but they can't use it, analyse it, evaluate, process, etc. If they are denied any chances to learn how to use different methods of information gathering, this is only going to keep getting worse. Technology exists...what favours does this mum think she's doing for her kids??? I mean, I hated battery operated toys for my DC, simply because they were usually annoying, but banning them from using any technology in this day and age would be as detrimental as not reading to them or exposing them to books.

Crazy!

Paranoid--sorry, I didn't make it clear, there were lots of comments from the other family. Nothing nasty, just along the same lines as what hassled mentioned about stifling imagination, etc. When our kids were showing some of their toys with batteries, etc. they were met with a bit of disdain, i.e. "oh, WE don't have anything like that".

It's an "S" school isn't it?

We looked at one for our DD when she was four and ran screaming from the place.

Twas like village of the damned.

Should be A "S" school!

I had a strict no tv policy when my dc was younger,she was 7 before she watched any and even now she is 10 tv is limited.
She has access to a computer and a Wii, but again that is limited, not to the extent that she is an oddball, but I do find that exposure to tv and computers for any length of time seems to affect her imagination and behaviour sometimes.

DH & I are geeks, so it would be hypocritical to ban technology.

I keep threatening to ban the Disney Channel though if I catch them watching SuiteLife again.

Mine aren't allowed Facebook until they are 13, so the only social networking they can have before then is Build-a-bear and Webkinz.

I don't shield them but we are not really into computers, games consoles etc so they don't really get the chance to use stuff. Neither of us has a smart phone, we just have old style bricks, no ipods or anything and only an ancient playstation which we have a couple of rugby games for but dh plays it rarely and I don't think ds even knows it exists, not because we hide it but because it jsut isn't around or played with.

Ds is 5 and when he gets his hands on an ipod touch or something is pretty good, I suppose because stuff is so intuitive and yes, he knows what angry birds is and how to play it. Last summer we did a thing through Surestart that involved lots of animation (plasticine models and taking pictures to manipulate) and very soon was working everything by himself which I thought was wonderful to see. Sometimes he asks to play on my laptop and plays pairs or something. I keep thinking I should find some educational type websites for him or spend a bit of time with him so he can work out how to use the track pad properly and navigate the cbeebies website.

Dd is 3 and just jabs at everything, she doesn't know how to work stuff.

We were at a friend's house at Christmas and they have a Wii and got it out to do some games. I know plenty of 2/3 year olds who can do it but mine couldn't!

I think it's ridiculous, this is the 21st century.
When my ds was at primary school, one of his friends came from a no TV household.
He used to come round to mine to play, sometimes alone, sometimes with other kids, it was a tiny village school, a dozen pupils of all ages, so I used to have a gang of them.
And guess who was the only one to want to watch the telly.
The others wanted to play outside, and he'd go into a massive sulk.
He's moved away now and is at that school that shouldn't be mentioned

Technology is practically unavoidable in modern life. Ds is 7, watches tv, has his own netbook (purchased by him having saved up), got an Ipod for Christmas (big treat from me). His knowledge is innate and on a par with mine. We got a smart tv that connects wirelessly to the internet. He worked out how to access BBC iplayer by himself.

Unlike older adults (I'm in my 40s) he is growing up with technology and sees it as part of every day life. At school the classroom has an interactive white board and the pupils have access to netbooks for some of their lessons, plus of course IT lessons.

None of this has stifled his imagination or creativity. He plays out in the garden, builds dens, he was in the park this afternoon making a snow sculpture and he loves art.

i allow mine to use technology as they want. i find those who are not allowed at home, when they come round and see tv they go mad for it and just want to sit there watching obsessively so best for them to just be used to it and have a balance. i dont really understand how it is supposed to harm them and cutting out technology altogether is unrealistic to me

Both my DH and I grew up without TVs in the house and felt a bit like outsiders at school because of it.

We have also chosen not to have a TV but do select stuff to play on iplayer and have DVDs. The kids generally don't watch during the week in schooltime (there's never enough time anyway!) but then can watch a bit at weekends. This also applies to computer time.

There really is an awful lot of rubbish on telly but there is some great stuff and fun stuff too. I'm a big believer in everything in measure as I presume we are all hoping our children learn some sort of self-regulation.

Each to their own, but I dont see any advantage in trying to be "waheyy we are so radical and our precious children will not be tainted with the modren age"... it just puts the children at a disadvantage socially with their peers, and generally leads to them being mocked and feeling as if they are not part of what is normal society in our culture.

And, may I add, this child told me to ssshst as he was watching something while I was talking.
The other kids were at that.

DH and I both earn our wages thanks to technology (he is a Software developer and I work for another Software company) so it is highly featured in our home/life.

I personally think the key is appropriate adult supervision and decisions.

My DD's have access to technology but we make the ultimate decision on how much/when/what they access and none of it lives in their bedrooms so there is adult supervision/interaction.

I do know families that are at either end of the scale though, as in one family have unlimited access and the other very minimal, the children all seem happy and it works for their individual families.

Why is 'that' school not supposed to be mentioned on here?

No I don't. I love technology and although I don't think that children need all the things they have, I wouldn't say no purely because I disagree with the medium.