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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you shield your kids from technology?

107 replies

fuzzypicklehead · 05/02/2012 16:41

Had an interesting visit from some relatives this week, with a much different approach to education and child-rearing than my own and it's left me pondering.

I let my own kids (2 and 4) watch (selective)tv, and probably have it on more than we should in the winter when the weather is crap. They have some Leapfrog type reading and writing toys, and I will also let them have limited, supervised use of my laptop, ipod and wii. I try to balance it with arts/crafts/sensory activities, board games and traditional toys (cars, dolls, cookers, etc) and plenty of running around and playing time.

Our relatives have a much different view of technology. They don't have a TV, or use battery operated toys, video games, etc. Their children attend a non-traditional school (I think we're not supposed to mention them on mumsnet) where there is also no technology and exposure to reading/writing is delayed until 7.

I guess I was just struck by the Mum's reaction when the kids wanted to share their toys and especially when they asked to play together on the wii. She was visibly uncomfortable, almost anxious when her kids were trying out these things which were obviously completely new to them. Almost as though the technology was dirty and she was worried her kids would be damaged or corrupted by it.

I know it's not recommended to let kids watch TV before 2 years old, but is it that weird to let toddlers access technology after 2 as a part of a balanced routine?

OP posts:
Original poster
fuzzypicklehead · 05/02/2012 17:26

Chastittybeltup-- Yep, that's the one.

AMumInScotland--That's interesting. Now that I think about it, I wonder if that's why we don't see them as much as we used to, before the kids started school.

OP posts:
Original poster
fuzzypicklehead · 05/02/2012 17:27

NannyOgg--I think there was talk of a lawsuit once.

OP posts:
ChasTittyBeltUp · 05/02/2012 17:35

Bugger them STEINER STEINER STEINER!

[weird emoticon]

Chandon · 05/02/2012 17:45

I think it s good to limit children's time with technology.

Some really turn into little computer addicts.

Mine are allowed an hour a day, but not unlimited access.

Would not ban it though, but limit it certainly!

pointythings · 05/02/2012 17:46

My DDs use the laptop for work and fun under supervision, they have a DS and an MP3 player - these are used on weekends and are not kept in bedrooms overnight. They play on the Wii on weekends and holidays and every night I cuddle up with them on the sofa and we play Gardens of Time on my FB account (they will not be having their own until they're 13).

Technology is essential, but it has to be seen as just another tool in their lives, not something special and desirable that is addictive. My girls make up plays, draw, do crafts and read books as well as playing endless pretend games with their cuddly toys. It's all about balance.

I have no time for The School Which Must Not Be Named at all.

Ragwort · 05/02/2012 17:54

Like Indeth we just don't really have any technological 'stuff' at home so noneofus DS is not that familiar with it. To be honest I don't understand most of the gadgets etc that are around today, ; we do have one TV and family PC. DS (11) enjoys playing with X-box, Wii etc when he visits friends and I am happy for him to do that.

In some ways I wish I did understand it all a bit more but haven't got the energy or enthusiasm to teach myself Grin. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable spending money on those sorts of things as I don't really see how they would enhance our lives. Smile If DS wanted to use birthday/Christmas money etc to buy a phone we wouldn't stop him - but wouldn't buy it for him !

cabbageandbeans · 05/02/2012 17:55

I think we are all a little too keen sometimes. I see 4-5 year olds on Nintendo DS and I feel really sad that they can't wait for the school gates to open without some kind of technological stimulation. I really question what effect it has on their young brain and it's development. That said - I allow use of a leapfrog laptop at home and when I see my child hunched over it I feel that it is no different at all.

toddlerama · 05/02/2012 17:56

We only use the TV for iPlayer, but they use the computer a lot. Because we home ed, I just found that it was hard to ration. There was always time to watch a bit, which meant they always wanted to watch something. With iPlayer, when that show's finished, it's finished. So I guess we ration it rather than shield them from it because it's so passive. I'm all for them using tech though. They love the laptop and iPad and have used them to learn to read in a really interactive way. I don't know why you would want them to grow up unable to use something that is an essential part of modern life. Sounds like crippling them tbh.

Original poster
fuzzypicklehead · 05/02/2012 18:31

I feel less abnormal now! (phew)

OP posts:
wordfactory · 05/02/2012 18:44

Technology is a part of modern life and DC need to learn how to harness it

However, small DC need to learn first and foremost how to interact with RL. So set limits, definitely.

numbertaker · 05/02/2012 18:47

We let our children use technology, but we police it. No un-supervised access to you tube, no FB, no general surfing. Games are all to be non-violent, or not more than giving a cartoon character the odd bash.

bruffin · 05/02/2012 19:08

I dont agree that technology stifles imagination or creativity. It can open up creativity in other ways. Ds not particularly good at drawing but is very creative using a camera and/or a pc.

troisgarcons · 05/02/2012 19:10

I don't think the not having technology damages a child.But if you are looking to the future, employability etc, then technology is quite probably a part of it.

FrankiDon182 · 05/02/2012 19:29

Can you all please share the secret of the 'school that shall not be named?'
I have absolutely no idea what it is you are going on about Blush

Regarding technology... My 21month old loves cbeebies but, equally loves messy play. He has lots of battery powered lespfrog baby gadgets but, still spends hours playing with a football in the garden. He likes spongebob app on my iphone but, also enjoys having a tea party with his spongebob teddy. Everything in moderation.... Its the 21st century - technology is a massive part of everyday life!!! Like it or not!!

bruffin · 05/02/2012 19:33

Steiner

GeorgeEliot · 05/02/2012 19:46

Each to his own.

I think you have to respect the choices the technology-averse family have made - even if they are different from the choices most other people have made. They have made their choice for what they believe is in the best interests of their children.

I'm a bit like that about food - and feel very uncomfortable if people buy sweets with additives in for my dc, or offer them fizzy drinks, although I would not take them away from them, just ration them carefully.

wordfactory · 05/02/2012 19:51

I think one of the main problems with DC using technology is what they're not doing during that time.

There are only so many hours in each day and DC using most of their free time on technology are losing out on all the basic skills that humans need to master.

aquashiv · 05/02/2012 19:58

Ours use the PC but are are only 5 and 6. The TV is rarley on as we dont have time to watch it and its just shit. I like the fact that they still prefer to play outside. I dont want a Wii because I cant see the point of standing their pretending to dance like Michael Jackson just dance like Michael Jackson. However we are the first ones to play on one at other peoples house and really enjoy the novelty.

NormanTebbit · 05/02/2012 20:04

There's a lot of research into how touchscreen technology can help children with SEN. It's fascinating and potentially very liberating for people with all sorts of disabilities.

Technology is a wonderful thing.

TeddyBare · 05/02/2012 20:18

We only recently got a TV and going without one until now doesn't seem to have done my dc any harm. We don't have a wii or any other TV game. The TV lives in a cupboard which is shut unless we're watching it, and we only turn it on when there is something we want to watch (you can check what is going to be on online). My dc are not allowed to turn on the TV without asking, but they are usually allowed to watch something if they have a specific programme they want to see. The TV doesn't go on every day. I suppose we probably watch it 2 or 3 times per week. One of those times is usually a film so lasts quite a few hours though.

I grew up in a house where TV is a background noise. If anyone is in the house then the TV will be on, and there is a TV in every bedroom. I really didn't want to have that in my house because I think it eats time. I think it can quite easily become a habit to come home from school or work and turn on the TV and then realise you've been sat there for 2 hours. I don't like the idea of it taking up time when other more important things could or should be done. I also think that if you're sat watching a film with the dc it feels like you've spent time with them, but you haven't actually interacted with them. I notice in my family people spend a lot of time together ignoring each other and as a consequence they don't know some pretty basic things about each other. But if you ask, everyone is always very quick to assure you of how close they all are and remind you of how much time they spend together. I also hate to be advertised at and I don't especially want my dc to be advertised at a lot until they are old enough to realise that buying whatever random object is being advertised will not improve their lives.

My dc do have access to the desktop computer, but again that is in the sitting room, so it can only be turned on when it won't be annoying for anyone else in the room. I suppose that probably is shielding them from technology more than most people do. They do however have free access to the radio and ipods. They each have their own fairly cheap ipod which they have whatever music they like on. They are also allowed to use my ipod for downloading stories from audible to listen to, because mine has more memory. We never had battery powered reading things, but that's because I thought they seemed very expensive for what they are. They did have battery powered toys when they were little though, but I must admit we sometimes "ran out" of batteries for some of the especially loud or annoying ones.

WilsonFrickett · 05/02/2012 20:32

We are a techy household and I work from home so my DS sees us using technology every day - on that basis, it would be very odd for us to shield him from using it. I guess this family never have to use a laptop or smartphone for work purposes then OP? My DH makes his living through technology, it's technology that enables me to work from home and make a decent living while still being there to pick DS up from school, it's technology that allows DS to write amazing stories on the computer and deal with things like thank you letters that would otherwise be really hard for him (poor pencil grip).

I would no sooner let him roam the Internet alone and unsupervised than I would send him off to cross a dual carrigeway on his own - but that doesn't mean i think roads are inherently bad, or that i wont do my best to equip him with the skills to cross it by himself in the future.

PushyDad · 06/02/2012 09:20

I will never understand people who have an all-or-nothing approach to life.

We always ensure the kids have a balanced diet of meat, veg, fish and fruit. Juices and water as opposed to fizzy drinks. But sometimes we just want to grab a Big Mac, fries, milk shake and go.

They have access to TV, PC games and handheld gadgets but they also have extra curricular activities like sports and music. During weekends, when MrsPD and I just want to park ourselves in front of the TV it is the klds that bug us to take them swimming or to play badminton.

So, when I read posts from people who adopt a no junk food, no TV at all I just roll my eyes [Note to MN Webmaster: Can I/we have an emoticon for the rolling of eyes?] :) The expression about how everything is ok in moderation springs to mind.

Chandon · 06/02/2012 09:21

pushydad, agree!

TeWihara · 06/02/2012 09:27

Yes, I agree we're not an all or nothing house.

I won't be buying my nearly 3yo tech of her own anytime soon, because in low budget households that way madness lies. However we have plenty of tech around and I haven't got a problem with her using it - but not all the time.

Glittertwins · 06/02/2012 09:32

I agree, mix it up. I haven't bought our two their own vtech tablet but they do get to play on the iPad, wifi off. Part of me thinks that there is plenty of time for computer games when they are older but they enjoy the doodling apps ( and less mess for me ;-)) and other preschool things. As long as they get out and about, use their imagination (preferably whilst I play here!!) as well, it's okay.