To think you're a grown man, FINISH YOUR DAMN DINNER!

[NoIfMuttsOrBabies]

Im the only girl in my family of brothers, DP is one of 3 boys.

In my experience men finish everything on their plate always.

It doesnt happen too often but I have to bite my tongue when DP doesnt finish the last bits of carrots and potato (or whatever) on his plate.

We're so poor right now it hurts, I plan our budget to the penny (literally) I plan every days meal to make sure we're fed that day, I buy economy, I save the bits not severed up to freeze for another meal, I throw little or nothing away.

DP goes on about how he never eats at work, he burns up loads of energy doing hard graft, hes starving, then leaves this food on his plate.

YES its only a few chunks of carrots, a tiny bit if meat and a table spoon of potato, but ITS ONLY A FEW CHUNKS OF CARROT A TINY BIT OF MEAT AND A TABLE SPOON OF POTATO SO FUCKING SHOVEL IT DOWN AND NOT IN THE BIN!

"But Im full."'

Makes me want to kick you it the fucking eye.

AIBU.

He totally understands. Thats what makes it so much more frustrating!

Scrape all his leftovers into a bowl and freeze it every night.
On Sundays, (it has to be Sundays), defrost it all, add a chicken Oxo, et voila -
Soupe de Dimanche, a nectar of the gods that Heston Blummintall would be proud to serve on his £180 tasting menu (as long as he had some dried ice for dramatic effect)

Rainbowinthesky if I make a meal I dish it up for whoever is eating, if DH cooks snigger then he dishes up. It's just good manners.

Buying snacks that often is out of order. The bits and pieces really add up and you're working hard meal-planning and batch cooking

I KNOW squeaky! He'll buy complete crap too, I wouldnt mind but uts so much better to buy and make stuff that lasts. Rice dishes, pasta dishes, im thinking lunch stuff.

But at lunch time for example, he ate a couple of table spoons of his soup before he shoved it aside. Turns out he had a pasty at 11am when he did his banking, yet let me cook him lunch then waste it.

Id forgotten about the lunch thing, Ive got a fresh bit of anger now.

YABVVVU.

People are supposed to stop eating when they're full.

SO FUCKING SHOVEL IT DOWN AND NOT IN THE BIN!
It is only wasting food if he leaves food and then goes and eats something else leaving you short for your next meal. If he doesn't finish something on his plate because he's eaten enough and knows when to stop eating, then that is not wasting. You've said it doesn't happen often and you've said it's not a lot, so get a grip. Hope you don't have the same attitude with your kids - being made to finish everything, full or not, is a ticket to weight problems.

He goes to tesco most evenings to buy snacks
Hmm, think that's a slightly different issue as you do sound incredibly stressed about the responsibility of budgeting for food. Have you spoken to him about spending money on the snacks? Sorry if 'get a grip' sounded a bit harsh - had only read your first post.

Really? We tend to serve ourselves but then DH does most of the cooking as I hate cooking.

If you (he) stopped buying snacks, you could add those few pounds into the main food budget and eat a little better.

You don't need snacks.

That said - I've been there. And when things are REALLY tight. I mean - feeding a family of 4 on £25 a week tight! - then it's really easy to feel resentful and end up spending money on things that, logically, you really shouldn't. I know. I've done it. I suppose it depends if the snack buying is adding up to a significant amount over the month and if stopping doing it would make significant enough financial difference to make up for how shitty it would feel to be so poor that you can't even buy a packet of smegging crisps.

you dont need to be overweight to be unhealthy.. and if he is scoffing pasties and other snacky crap, it wont be doing him any good

Actually I'm going to revise my position now that the OP has clarified things.

OP, YABU to want him to shovel it down regardless of how full he is feeling, but YANBU to be p*ssed off about him wasting food (ie. the snack-scoffing and then not eating his lunch later) when you're worrying about money and doing the meal planning.

I think you should make him take responsibility for the household food budget and meal planning for the next month. On his own. That would probably open his eyes a bit.

Mm, doesn't buying snacks from the supermarket affect your tight budget?

x post.

You say he 'totally understands' - how can he if he is spending money you can't afford on snacks while you all eat the cheapest of everything?

And tesco - walk or drive? If drive - how much does that cost in petrol?

No Ive not spoken to him about spending money on snacks, Im a SAHM he works his butt off. But I have said 'no wonder you're not hungry, you've eaten xxxx...' before.

To no avail though obviously.

He doesnt do this often its just pissed me off that hes done it twice today and he KNOWS how skint we are. Ive had to juggle and miss bills this month just so we can eat, he KNOWS this.

But whether he ate it all or not you would be just as skint. I'm afraid you do sound a bit unhinged.

He doesnt have time to sit down and do a the budgeting but I have spelled it out to him before. I said 3 days ago we only have X amount to spend per day until mid feb, food costs X amount.

Oh I dunno, I feel guilty as he does totally share the stress with me hes the only bread winner now (not for much longer).

Lol bippity quite possibly. All the fucking calculating how many carrots I can put in the damn shepards pie has sent me all psycho.

You could have bought a whole bag of carrots for less than the price of a pasty, so where is he getting his money from?

if you are that broke you are worrying about a couple of mouthfuls of food, I would be looking to get a job.

Why don't you just tell him. Add it up. He may not realise. a pound here, £1.50 there.

By the end of a month, he's spent £50 on crap.

£50 would have meant you could have served your children a better quality of food.

However, if he doesn't do this day in day out, week in week out, then it won't be anywhere near that amount and a couple of quid doesn't make that much difference.

And it is hard to go through life being so strapped for cash that you can't even spend a quid. It's easy to start feeling resentful.

That said - it is what it is and he's just got to deal with it.

you need to calm down and stop treating him like a kid , its fine to not finish give him less , if he isnt eating all day i would worry but apart from that if he has had enough then I think thats fine

YANBU to wish he wouldn't waste food.

If I were you I wouldn't cook as much to start with. I think he is being really selfish to buy snacks every evening when he knows how skint you are.

OP you need to calm down.

You are coming over as very controlling about the food issue. I understand you are skint-arse. We are too - perpetually scraping it together. However, your dh is an adult and can eat as much or as little as he wants, whenever he wants to.

Scraping a few carrots in the bin isn't going to make any difference to how skint you are....really it is not.

You need to calm down.

Rainbowinthesky I am, I was at the job centre last week, the sent me off witb a fucking DLA application form. Not because of myself but one of my DC the thought makes me want to cry. We are receiving few benefits, and we thought it was going to be a veru short term thing.

Our situation has changed dramatically recently unfortunately.