Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have asked SiL not to come round

35 replies

Birthdaybump2012 · 04/02/2012 19:49

SiL asked to come up here for the day to see Dc3 for the first time. Dh and her don't get on but she is always the golden girl in the family because she is the youngest.
We live in rural Wales up a rather steep mountain, and even though we haven't had a lot of snow it is lethal with ice and Dh feel on his bum putting the rubbish in the bin :o (about a meter walk down the path)
So we agreed that SiL shouldn't come up tomorrow Dh rang her to tell her not to come and why. She got really upset saying we don't want her, don't love her and so on and that her Dc will be gutted that he can't play with his cousins.
An hour later MiL rang up Dh answered and she told him that he was awful and cruel to his sister and that we should go down there if she couldn't come here cause Dh is a better driver. Dh said he was not taking his family in this weather. MiL hung up then called again a half hour later from SiL house and had another go at poor Dh and he came off the phone in tears.
He is now wondering if he has done the right thing so I am throwing it to the MN jury.
AWBU?

OP posts:
spudinvasion · 04/02/2012 19:53

YANBU. Your poor Dh being me to feel that way by his own mother. Sadly I don't think it matters how good you reason is, sounds like they will just be nasty anyway.

ItsGrimUpNorth · 04/02/2012 19:55

Potty behaviour from the in laws. Your dh should just say, "You're talking no sense. Good bye." and put the telephone down.

GwennieF · 04/02/2012 19:55

You and your husband are both being very sensible. Presumably you've just postponed the visit rather than saying 'she can never see your child'. I can't see why your SiL is being so childish about it all, nor why she is involving her mother! And as for the suggestion that your DH takes your newborn child out on a needless journey in hazardous driving conditions....... ridiculous!

Surely she could arrange to come next week or when the weather has improved...?

ragingmull · 04/02/2012 19:56

Yanbu. They sound bonkers, just let them be. Hope your DH's bum is OK :)!

jade80 · 04/02/2012 19:56

So call them back and say 'We've thought about it, and actually you may as well come, because it will be less hassle if you crash than it is dealing with the fuss you are making at the moment. See you tomorrow!'

GwennieF · 04/02/2012 19:58

LOL @ Jade

cheekyseamonkey · 04/02/2012 19:58

Bonkers! YANBU

OldBagWantsNewBag · 04/02/2012 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMcEnroe · 04/02/2012 20:00

I'm with Jade

I too have nutters for ILs and I am completely on your DH's (and your) side on this one. YANBU at all.

OldBagWantsNewBag · 04/02/2012 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMcEnroe · 04/02/2012 20:01

Congratulations on your new baby by the way OP Grin

Original poster
Birthdaybump2012 · 04/02/2012 20:04

Jade Thats got us both laughing Thanks :o

OP posts:
Original poster
Birthdaybump2012 · 04/02/2012 20:06

Thanks for the congratulations too MrsMcEnroe :o

OP posts:
totallypearshaped · 04/02/2012 20:06

Nice one Jade LOL.

Blimey, OP and her DH, put the kettle on and have a cuppa. I think you both deserve it.

Honeydragon · 04/02/2012 20:13

Yes what Jade said with the addition of of DH telling his mother

"Thankyou for making it finally clear which of your Grandchildrens lives you value the least, as you are willing to endanger mine but not my sisters for the sake of indugence"

If your SiL can be a manipulative heartstringing bitch than let dh fight fire with fire and fuck taking the high road in this case, as you already live on it Wink

Honeydragon · 04/02/2012 20:14

please insert relevant"l" inti indulgence

Honeydragon · 04/02/2012 20:14

into , aaaargh!

OldBagWantsNewBag · 04/02/2012 20:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Birthdaybump2012 · 04/02/2012 20:24

And thanks Honeydragon Dh has perked up again. :o
Sadly totallypearshaped I don't like tea. Dh would happily drink two though

OP posts:
dutchyoriginal · 04/02/2012 20:26

They are bonkers and vvvvvery unreasonable! Amazing that they are willing to put their family's lives in danger to see a baby (no matter how adorable and lovable your baby is). It's completely irresponsible!

JustHecate · 04/02/2012 20:27

I suppose you could say look, we've told you that it's not safe. The roads are bad. If you want to come - come. We told you not to come out of concern for your safety not because we don't want to see you. If you want to risk it, come over. But on your head be it. If you crash, or get stranded - we can't fetch you, you'll be on your own.

Or just tell the lot of em to fuck right off and get on with your life without them. Having a go at you because you are concerned about weather conditions. Who needs that in their life?!

Ragwort · 04/02/2012 20:29

Your DH sounds lovely and sensitive, mine would have just told them to F* off Grin.

troisgarcons · 04/02/2012 20:31

Persaonally? sibling jealousy there.

But I'd have phoned and said its bloody icy, make sure your boots ahve crampons and your tyres have snow chains. That way the door is left open.

Mountain? Wales? Even if you lived on top of Snowdon it 's only 1,000m - hardly Everest is it?

blackeyedsusan · 04/02/2012 20:35

can I suggest thahis recent injury needs to be massaged... ? might take his mind off his bonkers family. Grin

Original poster
Birthdaybump2012 · 04/02/2012 20:36

Ragwort He is very sensetive but thats one of the many reasons I love him. (He is also reading this over my shoulder and is going very red and begging me not to post this.) tehehe

He doesn't know I've told you all he fell on his butt earlier Wink

OP posts: