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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is it DH

50 replies

BlueFergie · 04/02/2012 16:28

OK first off DH was in a stinker of a mood this morning he admits this himself. He was more or less keeping a lid on it though albeit with me making an active effort not to get annoyed at his general grousing and muttering as it would have escalated quickly. Just left him to it.
Anyway I was due to go with DD to a friends for lunch. He was keeping the two boys. Ds2 is 4 months and bf so just before I left I went to sit down and feed him. He is a big boy so generally when I feed I sit on a comfy couch with arms to support my arm otherwise it would go dead very quick. Also I always take my iPad so I can mumsnet read intellectual articles in the guardian. There is a pc in the kitchen but it has a chair with no arms so I don't use that anymore since I got the iPad for Christmas.
So I go to find iPad and its not there.
Me: Where's my iPad?
DH: I have it
Me: can I have it please I'm going to feed DS
DH: but I'm using it
Me: you can use the PC instead it's just there
DH: I don't want to why should I. I had it first.
Me: DH it's mine, I need it now, you can use pc

He gave it over with much muttering about how pathetic it was that I was making him, and that it wasn't mine it was ours paid for with our money ( was handed wrapped to me on Xmas morning so not sure how that works). He was not doing anything important btw just surfing net.
Anyway he still pissed off. So WIBU or is he just hanging onto this because he finally has a reason to take his bad mood out on , me.
And before anyone says I know it's a small problem but thankfully I have a very boring life.

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 04/02/2012 16:30

YANBU, he is. And of course it's your bloody iPad.

StealthPenguin · 04/02/2012 16:31

YANBU - he's just happy you've given him an excuse to throw a wobbly.

laurenamium · 04/02/2012 16:31

YANBU, tell him to straighten his face and stop being a twat

Tee2072 · 04/02/2012 16:32

Tell him when he can breast feed he can have the iPad.

RagamuffinAndFidget · 04/02/2012 16:33

Grin Tee2072

MmeLindor. · 04/02/2012 16:34

YANBU

He could use the PC, you cannot while bfing.

Why is he in a bad mood?

SydSaid · 04/02/2012 16:39

On balance, YANBU, but I'm not convinced he is particularly, either. There's not really any need to surf while bfing. And it's easy enough to bf on a chair with no arms - you say yourself you used to use that chair before you got the ipad.

AThingInYourLife · 04/02/2012 16:45

YANBU and he is - he's taking back your Christmas present because it was paid for with family money? Nice.

seaweedhead · 04/02/2012 16:49

Sounds like a very petty argument. Why is he still pissed off about a minor disagreement you had this morning? Very childish.

Original poster
BlueFergie · 04/02/2012 16:51

Oh I am relieved I didn't think I was BU but he was so pissed I was questioning myself.
Your right Syd I didn't literally need to surf but either did he and I can use a chair without arms but it uncomfortable and it wouldn't be for him. When I did use it btw DS was smaller so not as much dead arm.
MmeLindor DHs bad moods are usually linked to his anxiety I have posted on here before about his struggles with OCD. Today's one is also helped by his eczema which is flaring up again and can be uncomfortable.

OP posts:
MeltedChocolate · 04/02/2012 16:51

Actually I think YABU - very

he had it, he clearly wanted to keep using it, get a book Hmm

BFing doesn't give you special rights to everything you know. You teach the kids to share their things and tell them not to take their things back when someone else is happily using it 'DC let X use your thing, share'... So should you.

FabbyChic · 04/02/2012 16:51

I dont understand? Sometimes people wake up not happy is there some unwritten rule to say that everybody has to wake up a chirpy fucker? Generally when someone is unhappy they take it out on those closest to them, its called life.

PippiL · 04/02/2012 16:53

Yanbu.

What tee2070 said.

I have an iPad for Xmas, dh uses it sometimes, but Aslways asks, and would never say what your dh did. He is well out of order.

MeltedChocolate · 04/02/2012 16:55

I would hate to be in a relationship where my DP did not consider his belongings mine also. I think that is really sad

Awayinamangercooper · 04/02/2012 16:56

Not sure. You see our iPad was handed to me wrapped nicely in Christmas paper as well, and it's definitely not mine.

Original poster
BlueFergie · 04/02/2012 16:57

Yes meltedchocolate that's his argument I suppose. I wasn't expecting special rights for bf just explaining why the pc was easier for him to use than me.
FabbyChic I am not giving out that he's in a bad mood just wondering if he had a valid argument or is he annoyed because of his bad mood.

OP posts:
nbee84 · 04/02/2012 16:57

I think I'm with Melted on this one - if a child was sharing their toy with a friend but wanted it back you wouldn't ask the friend to give it back to your child immediately because it belonged to them - you would tell your child to wait until they had finished with it. You could have said to dh 'can you pass me my ipad when you've finished with it'

squeakytoy · 04/02/2012 17:00

He could use the PC, you cannot while bfing

Well to be fair.. she could before she got the iPad 4 weeks ago...

And you did say "just before" you went out...

I dont think it is worth having a huge fall out over tbh..

MeltedChocolate · 04/02/2012 17:01

Yes but he was in the middle of using it. He clearly was enjoying what he was doing even if it was just on the net. He could have used the PC but would have preferred to stay on the iPad. You did not need it either.

Anyway, you made him give it to you and got your own way so don't know what you are complaining about.

If I was him I would be irritated by you especially if you knew I was having a bad morning.

Honeydragon · 04/02/2012 17:02

how the fuck does this have anything to do with breast feeding making you entitled? Confused

Original poster
BlueFergie · 04/02/2012 17:02

I see your point melted and nbee84 but there was a perfect alternative for him so it was more of a swap like for like situation when the other person can't use one of them. I wouldn't have looked for it back if we hadn't the alternative of the pc.
Say you had two toys that were basically identical but one had buttons to hard for the younger child to press. Would you not get the older child to take that toy so they could both play rather than one playing while the other strops out.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 04/02/2012 17:04

but there was a perfect alternative for you too.. and the pc was not in use.. and as you say, it wasnt absolutely vital that you went on to mumsnet the guardian website was it.. Grin

MeltedChocolate · 04/02/2012 17:05

No I would tell the younger child to play with something else and not mention the other toy. If they are big enough to understand me they are big enough to get over it and move on to something else.

Honeydragon - not sure but to me it came across in the OP that OP though she had rights because it was her and because she was BFing. (or it did to me anyway - I may have picked that up wrong)

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 04/02/2012 17:06

I share my home, car, bed and body with DH. I don't share my iPad. It's mine.

Actually, I do let him borrow it from time to time and have even downloaded apps he wanted, but if he'd been stropping about all day and reacted as in the OP, he could fuck off.

Original poster
BlueFergie · 04/02/2012 17:06

Yes me being the child in the example stripping out Grin
Don't know if I can show him this now if some of you are agreeing with him! Damn you lot!!!

OP posts: