...to think a lot of people care too much about things which are unlikely to ever become a real problem?

[Boomerwang]

The reason I'm asking is because I'm finding myself frequently responding to threads saying 'why does it matter?', 'Why are you posting this?', 'This seems so trivial' etc.

Someone complaining about being given a 'funny look' makes me think... just ignore it and move on? Are you likely to see that person ever again? Why can't you just laugh about it, fully secure in the knowledge that it'll never affect your life?

Comparing how you clean your house with others is a nice chat, but then looking down on someone who isn't as scrupulous as you are is not really necessary. Why do you care what they do with their homes?

Becoming offensive and making personal attacks on someone because they have a difference of opinion to you... what's that all about? Why do you have to be abusive about it? Why not just state that you disagree and leave out the whole 'you are a cunt of the highest order' part?

It's got me wondering if - and slightly pleased about - I am just ridiculously blasé about everything.

My responses are more like 'oh dear I think that woman is putting a curse on me with that look she's giving!'
'My house is covered in pet hair but I don't do much apart from vacuum, wash up, put the washing on/away and clean bathroom/kitchen every few days'
'I don't agree with you and I think perhaps your view is biased because you've never had to deal with this problem before'

Why so hardcore, people?

I've just moved to Australia, and the attitude is a lot less judgemental. It's very refreshing. No wonder British people have such low self esteem.

i agree that AIBU seems to polarise peoples opionion.

whats more they cant seem to say .... thats your opionion this is mine. total lack of tolerance

Yanbu. I think the government need to do a leaflet campaign entitled "get a bloody hobby". I can only assume it's a combination of low self-esteem and the wish to inject some drama into an otherwise somehow unhappy and unfulfilled life.

Anyway, can't hang around here gabbing - there's a Tesco trolley dude due a disciplinary for giving me a look as I wheel-spinned dangerously close to him on the ice.

Yes yes yes. From baby showers to MILs, it's a quivering heap of outrage and most of the time I just don't get it

I think the government need to do a leaflet campaign entitled "get a bloody hobby

Or as my foul mouthed friend would say, in such circumstances. 'have a wank and get over yourself.'

Which I think would be a great title for a government leaflet aimed at the petty, upright judgemental sorts.

But commenting on other people's lives and getting worked up about inconsequential things is a hobby!! Why do you think soap operas are so popular?

I agree.

I quite enjoy reading alternative points of view and there's nothing wrong with expressing strongly held contrasting opinions. I have changed my opinions on certain things, or the ways in which I assess certain situations as a result of things I've read on here and I do challenge other people in real life as a result.

But as soon as someone descends to insults and name calling on a thread I tend to think they've lost their argument.

There are certain things I feel very strongly about but most things I don't.

And it irritates me when people express absolutes based on their experiences and extrapolate those to apply to everyone. Particularly when by their very nature, the individual experiences are just that, very personal and individual. (such as experiences with NRPs)

I agree - I hate name calling and the assumptions people make such as well I hope you and your family never experience anything like that - when the poster has no evidence that they haven't already. And some things are very very petty.

But I know sometimes when I am bored I post trivial things I don't really care about just because there are very few new posts. And I think some posters argue for the sake of it or because they are bored. So I don't think you should assume that everyone who posts about trivial things actually cares about these things.

Also with some of the really trivial things e.g. woman looked at me funny and I am still crying 2 days later. I strongly suspect that these posters are not really upset about a funny look, although that may be what they are focussing on. There will be wider issues such as pnd, mh problems or a very very difficult life. I also wonder about some of the more vitriolic and aggressive comments and I wonder whether these comments are really about the posters feeling aggressive about other really shitty things in their life - although I know they might just be aggressive and unpleasant people.

Some threads turn into an argument out of nowhere. It's all going along quite lighthearted then somebody comes along and says something and BOOM! there's a bunfight.

The favourite at the moment seems to be 'I don't get your point OP' when there really isn't a major point to be argued about.

Or as my foul mouthed friend would say, in such circumstances. 'have a wank and get over yourself.

yy to that :o

Yes, sometimes the forums can have a bit of a lull in truly interesting topics, and I've felt the urge to start threads but held back because the subject matter would be so trivial to others. Indeed, this thread could be construed as trivial, and I suppose it is. My boyfriend told me last night that I cared too much about other people, even people I don't know, and it's skewed my vision and put me in danger of becoming a walkover. Apparently I'm neglecting my natural human responses and one day I'll blow up and spit hatred everywhere. I'm not sure if that's true (I bloody hope not!) but perhaps he has a point.

I guess it's a form of stress relief. I do feel mildly righteous and that a tiny weight has been lifted if I get something off my chest, but the stress returns and is exacerbated by the response. It's a bit like standing in a 9 items or less queue, pissed off because you're in a hurry and the person at the checkout is having a leisurely chat, paying with a card that doesn't work or loads of change, or having the price of an item queried or whatever else that holds up the queue. You know you'd feel better for shooting a remark but in all likelihood it'll have no effect but to make you feel more stressed.

The last forum I used to frequent had an adult only area with a subforum devoted entirely to letting people get something off their chest, use as many expletives as they wanted and bitch and moan about any other forum user as they liked. This won't happen here and I'm glad it won't because the venom spilt over into other subforums, but it did feel good to just let it all out.

"My boyfriend told me last night that I cared too much about other people, even people I don't know, and it's skewed my vision and put me in danger of becoming a walkover. Apparently I'm neglecting my natural human responses and one day I'll blow up and spit hatred everywhere. I'm not sure if that's true (I bloody hope not!) but perhaps he has a point. "

You know the answer to that, don't you?

Leave the bastard!

I can't believe you're worrying about this.

Tsk.

Women have always bitched about nothing. Its in their genes [puts on helmet. No need for groin protector - Mrs PD crushed them a long time ago]

In the days Before Internet women would have a bitch-athon with BF either over the phone or at a cafe. With forums like this, it gives a chance for some women to have a wider circle of GFs to have a bitch-athon with.

I wish Mrs PD would discover MN coz at the moment all she does is bitch to me about this woman at work who does nothing but bitch at work.

People like joining in, seeing their name on The Internet. chances are it's not as important to the poster as it appears either, I often feel people miss a bit of intended humour in aibu ops. I mean, presumably you don't really care about whether other people are bothered by trivialities, but we could assume from this post that it's consuming you night after night, tearing your hair out in agonies over why people are worried about which wedding they haven't been invited to or the slice of cake their child's grandma gave them.

Yes, I'm on a bit of a downer at the moment, that's probably why I made the thread. Ironic, isn't it, that I'm moaning about other people who moan about other people :)

PD... Are you bitching about your wife bitching about her colleague bitching...?

Hang on.

Agreed.....sometimes it feels like aibu is full of mean fishwives, the type to hoik bosoms onto a fence and relish in others misfortune/make it worse by making an antagonistic poisonous comment for the sake of it. Just don't get the need to be so mean - obviously are unable to be assertive in real life.

Having said that, there are a lot of OP where I think eh? but if I can't think of anything positive/constructive to add or at least that isnt personal to op then i wont post a reply.

Have only recently discovered mumsnet last year during first pg which I have found mostly helpful and only occasionally infiltrated by aibu fishwives. I am now getting to the point of having a wank and getting over it.

Totally agree. The amount of people on here saying they are furious or fuming and then you read on and its just nothing at all. Women about to self combust because someone looked at them funny or didn't hold a door open, or some other trivial shit.

Its just so self-involved, like its All About Them, the whole bloody world. Chill out to fuck and have a drink or go for a walk. Or think about people with real problems and feel ashamed of yourself for being so childish.

I think that they must decide they will be offended by someone before they actually leave the house. 'i must find something to offend me'.

thether- are you bitching about me bitching about the wife bitching about the woman at work who is always bitching about something?

Is this what they call the Circle of Life?

Now, now PD, don't be bitchy

I don't know if it's the Circle of Life... Hexagon of Shite perhaps?

I think there's been a job lot of Judgey pants for sale lately.

Or BOGOF.

Sometimes it's better to have a bit of a rant on here though than moan to your other half (who ums and ahs as his eyes glaze over).

AIBU is just bursting at the seams with irrational, petty and mean-spirited stories. I am honestly appalled and the amount of nastiness people encounter (or seem to, based on some the AIBU) threads!

Seriously. I live in London, where commuter/supermarket/lift/shopping/vending machine/anything rage is the norm and I do feel like I'm living on a knife edge somewhat. But even through all that, which is directed at strangers and generally is expressed through hissing teeth and elbow barging, I haven't anything like the day-to-day personal nastiness people write about on here.

I know this site spans the UK and so the pot of people and their experiences is so large but still....how have I managed to avoid all these awful people my entire life?? I don't think I've ever come across such regular pettiness. Ever.

Which makes me conclude that, as noted already, a lot of people have way too much time on their hands and that, given misery loves company, a lot of it is entirely fictional in their own heads. Whether they are the instigator or the perceived victim.

Yup, I think it is all down to interpretation, some people just see themselves as the perpetual victim and every situation is about them. There are a lot of life's victims on aibu.

We all have minor shit that goes on in our lives....road rage, supermarket trolley stand offs, relationship problems just that most of us wouldn't need the constant approval of internet randoms to make our minds up about these things.

It just makes it sadder that these people who need this contant approval with simple decision making are usually flamed by people who cannot offer constructive criticism/ability to debate in an intelligent respectful manner. I suppose then it just confirms OPs position as victim.