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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

quickly! to pop to shop when baby sleeping?

141 replies

Scheherezade · 03/02/2012 16:49

Shop is approx 200-300 yards from my house. I have to cross a road and that's it.

Baby is 4m, asleep in cot, not under a blanket so no suffocation risk....

Shop know I have a baby, am scared they'll judge me as bad mum!

OP posts:
pictish · 03/02/2012 19:28

And meanwhile in the real world.....

Animation · 03/02/2012 19:31

I have a 7 acre field. Would walking [or running] to the end of the field and back be OK then?

TheCountessOlenska · 03/02/2012 19:37

I wouldn't do this because I would feel the eyes of a thousand mumsnetters judging me as I went.

trixie123 · 03/02/2012 19:38

people often say mothers of babies that young should sleep while baby is sleeping. If the OP took the monitor with her she'd be perfectly able to hear if anything was wrong, more so than if she was asleep / doing housework / on the phone. Hit by a car / fire in the house etc are, as others have pointed out so unlikely that you can't worry about it - if you did, you'd never do anything, drive, walk in frosty /icy weather etc.

dannid · 03/02/2012 19:39

If its a one off and you really cant wait then no i don't think ybu. However, when I was a child (many years ago now Wink) my neighbour used to drive me and her son to school each morning. If her youngest son, who was approx 8mths old, wasn't awake in time for the school run she would leave him at home in the cot...the school was a good few mins drive away :o...now that really is what i call irresponsible!

dannid · 03/02/2012 19:41

Oops that was not supposed to be a smiley face it was supposed to be shocked!

pettyprudence · 03/02/2012 19:49

I would and I do, and I can't even see my house from the shop (view is blocked). I just start to lose the signal on the monitor in the shop. I'm only gone about 3 mins max and figure I take longer than that having a shower... I've only done it about 3-4 times max so not a regular occurance in DS (10m) life. Sadly DS is not the type of baby you can lift out of a cot and stay sleeping so if Dh was away and I needed chocolate then quite frankly I'm going to leg it to the shop.... I am lucky to have a nosy neighbour though who I know ALWAYS has an eye on the place!

Flisspaps · 03/02/2012 19:52

I don't think it is very different OP.

Both circumstances involve the responsible adult leaving a minor unattended in a house for a short period of time. In fact, the father I mentioned had a far better reason to leave the house (to collect another young child) than you (to pop to the shop)

I am glad you took your DC with you though :)

befuzzled · 03/02/2012 19:57

I think I would do it if my baby monitor stretched that far, probably over reliance on technology but I won't go any further than where I can still hear what is going on in the room (worry the baby will be sick, choke, etc) - I think I have been as far as the post box once or twice doing this which is probably about the same distance as your shop. Would be too panicky to go further.

tralalala · 03/02/2012 19:57

I would. Incredibly low risk. In fact the baby is probably in more danger crossing a road with you. Because even in worse case scenario you got hit and killed by a car (and then distraught baby found a few hours later by your DH alone) at least he wasnt in your arms.

SecretMinceRinser · 03/02/2012 20:10

The chances of something happening in the 5 minutes is low. Although electrical fires (or spontaneous combustion as some people prefer to call it to make it sound like some kind of laughable thing that never occurs) happen a lot more frequently than meteors hitting houses Hmm).
And if we're talking probability saying a fire is unlikely to break out/you are unlikely to be run over 'in that 5 minutes' shows little understanding of probability. You are, in fact, equally likely to be run over/victim to fire in that 5 minutes as you are at any other 5 minutes during the day. More than likely you won't but it does happen and more frequently than people who like to leave their kids at home would like to convince themselves.
Unless it's some kind of emergency it is entirely sensible not to leave babies/young children home alone. Christ at 4 months I was still following the advice to have them sleep in the same room as me never mind nipping to the local shop.

silverbay · 03/02/2012 20:28

I've done similar.

FightsWithMonsters · 03/02/2012 21:37

Things I do on a regular basis with my baby asleep upstairs.

Boil the kettle, use the microwave and stand next to the washing machine - with the kitchen door closed, of course.

Use the stairs while carrying unwieldy items.

Walk around with scissors or knives. Or scissors and knives.

Have a shower. Don't mind if I spill shampoo and it gets a bit slippy.

Lie on the sofa knowing I'm tired and there's something boring on the telly.

Stand in the garden.

I have a cat who can and does dash in front of me and trip me up.

I have a large mirror that could come loose from it's moorings and slice me in two like a cake.

Heaven forbid we forget the hoovering. I might even then go outside and empty the thing, without checking to see if the baby has expired in the ten minutes I've been making my carpet look a bit nicer.

Open the front door when I don't know who's knocking.

And yes, a handful of times I've spent three minutes walking quickly to the shop for trivial items.

Worst Mother Ever. I've seen Casualty. I know what could happen but there's me dicking about like a terrible accident couldn't happen at any time.

cazboldy · 03/02/2012 21:43

i seriously wonder at some people..... god if a baby is that much trouble, then why have one in the first place! Sad

FightsWithMonsters · 03/02/2012 21:46

I know right? I bet some of these children are... Shock accidents!!

SecretMinceRinser · 03/02/2012 21:48

For all of the above things but going to the shop you would be in earshot of your smoke alarm though. House fires are not that rare. There was one in the news not long ago where a mum had left her baby 'safe' in their cot while she literally walked to the end of the road to drop her older child at school. The baby died.
I really can't see why some people find it that much trouble to be present at home with a baby they've chosen to have. Not once in 4 1/2 years have I NEEDED to go out while my kids are asleep. There are plenty of other hours in the day.

cazboldy · 03/02/2012 21:48

surprisingly enough some of mine were..... but i still looked after them!

TattyDevine · 03/02/2012 21:51

Honestly these threads make me laugh.

The reasons why you shouldn't, I mean.

"You might get hit by a car" (in which case, being alone in a cot for a few hours is the least of its worries, growing up without a mother!)

And if you were hit by a car but had the baby with you, that would technically be worse for the baby, non, because he would also be engulfed by this previously invisable silent car that nobody could see coming Grin

Fire breaking out - well, its across the road so not a massive difference in terms of response than if you are putting the bin out, really!

If it were me and I really needed something (like wine) and there was a shop literally diagnoally opposite and my immobile baby was asleep and down for the night, well, I reckon I probably would. This is a hypothetical scenario though, as I don't have a shop diagonally across the road.

It looks bad on paper, but in reality, the likelihood of it going wrong is actually probably statistically much much less than if you took the baby with you or if you just went out in the car the next day or whatever. But hey. Its not advisable, shall we say?

SecretMinceRinser · 03/02/2012 21:58

I can hear my smoke alarm when I'm just outside the house putting the bin out. It's also a lot quicker as I don't have to stand in a queue of undetermined length. I don't think most people realise how quickly a fire can engulf a house. Seconds count in that scenario. I'm not saying it's extremely likely to happen - just that for the sake of a pint of semi-skimmed (that I can get when my child wakes) there's no way I would risk it.

Tinsie · 03/02/2012 21:59

YANBU. I've done it a few times. Both the baby and I have survived.

CailinDana · 03/02/2012 22:06

SecretMinceRinser - in any given five minutes of your life the likelihood of a fire breaking out/you getting knocked down are absolutely tiny. If you then look at the likelihood of it happening in a specific five minutes, ie the time the OP chooses to go the shop, the probability is so tiny you might as well be worrying that a meteor will hit the house. Just to clarify I'm not saying meteors hit houses often, I'm saying the probability of a meteor hitting the house is not hugely different from the house bursting into flames/the OP getting hit by a car in those specific five minutes of her life.

In fact, my DH, who is a statistician has said that even if you knew for absolutely certain that your house was going to be set on fire in one 24 hour period the likelihood of it happening in that specific five minute window is 1 in 288 Grin

banana87 · 03/02/2012 22:14

I would if the baby monitor reached that far.

DunderMifflin · 03/02/2012 22:19

People seem to fear everything - we're so lucky that our lives are so safe yet see danger at every turn.

Proximity gives an illusion of control.

usualsuspect · 03/02/2012 22:20

I used to live next door to a shop , I used to to go there when the kids were asleep sometimes

SecretMinceRinser · 03/02/2012 22:25

Yes but the point I was making is that that is the same chance as it happening in any other 5 minute window throughout the day. There is nothing special about when the op is out of the house - the random event (fire) won't know or be any more or less likely.
I've never heard of a case of a meteor hitting a house but I have heard of many cases of people dying/being injured in electrical fires that happen without warning. People saying the chances if an electrical fire are 'vanishingly low' or 'so low they aren't worth bothering about' are only trying to convince themselves imo.
I would also imagine that if you think nipping to the shops for milk while your baby sleeps is acceptable you won't only do it once but whenever you need something.