Bathroom etiquette for visitors - use your host's shampoo but not their cream?

[Flatbread]

Picking up from another thread and a point Stella raised.

When you are visiting, what do you use?

I use their toothpaste
The nicest shampoo and conditioner
Definitely the face wash, might go half and half on my face if they have two kinds
Bubble bath and bath oils if bathing
And finally a lather of their face cream and body cream. And vary by day, depending on how many they have.

Am I the worsest house guest

Toothpaste - acceptable
Shower Gel - acceptable
Hand Wash - acceptable
anything else - unacceptable unless you have forgotten it and so ask to use some

A friend came to stay and brought her own toiletries but forgot face wash and cotton baby buds. She asked to borrow mine, I was "what are these items you speak of?" I am a minimalistic bathroom stocker.

We bring all of our own toiletries, but if something has been forgotten, I ask if I may borrow theirs, if it is something important at that cannot wait until I go to the store and replace. Not lotion or anything, as I can rough it, and live without lotions etc., for a day. Last fall I forget my hairbrush while away at a friends place and so had to ask to borrow one. She had an extra hairbrush she lent me to use so I didn't have to go buy one.
Once, years ago, I tried a squirt of my friends fragrance and she was really annoyed. I was amazed she was annoyed to be honest, my other friends and I were the "Help yourself to anything you need" type (and still are like that).

Plus, her boyfriend snubbed the wine I offered them one night. Humpt!

I am a beauty junkie
So my friends that stay often bring nothing except a toothbrush and then ask things like "have you got a moisturiser that makes you glow, but not glittery, oh and fragrance free?!" and sadly the answer is usually yes
I have a perfume shelf, people are welcome to borrow anything. After having a guest that it turned out was constantly stealing stuff off me I couldn't care less what you use as long as you don't take it with you

Do you know, my MiL opened a box of chocolates my mother had brought me to say congratulations for giving birth and scoffed half of them before I got home from the hospital. Tit dipping would be mild.

WMMC that is well out of order.

Thank you Sparklingbrook - I thought so. DH said 'but you can buy chocolates whenever you like'

Clearly still a sore point with you, if your username's anything to go by, WMMC!

I am a Norty User, but tailor it to the circumstances. If it's a relative (PIL, for instance) I just use, don't ask and don't tell. I assume, because the en suite bathroom we're normally given is well stocked with shampoos and shower gels, that it's expected. My own mother never asks, but comes out of my bathroom smelling of my perfume. (She probably bought it for me, so fair dos.) Perfume is a no-no purely on practical grounds, as your host can tell you've had a try. (And I would never use someone's perfume, ever, because it's personal, expensive and just rude. I might take the cap off and have a sniff out of pure curiosity, though.)

If, on the other hand, I was staying with someone I'd never stayed with before, I wouldn't use anything. Or if I'd left my toothpaste behind I'd ask first. Generally, if they're good friends, I'd use toothpaste, shower gel and hand cream if next to the sink, without asking. Wouldn't use anything else without asking first.

Before I read this thread it had genuinely never occurred to me that people tip up at other people's houses fully intending to use their bathroom products. We always take a wash bag each, with everything we need, and as far as I know that's what all our guests do too. Sometimes someone will say they've used shampoo or whatever , which is obviously fine, but now I'm wondering whether our hosting skills are lacking because we haven't left out specific guest items .

So how should we do this then? Generally visitors have their own bathroom, which has a cupboard with various products that won't fit in the family shower room, plus all the bath stuff. Should I start buying a new bottle of shampoo, shower gel, conditioner for visitors then, and pointing it out? I do provide nice soap and hand cream, and lots of towels. (And we've always been reassured that our guests are well fed, which assuages my inadequate host guilt somewhat!).

WhoMoved - MIL eating the chocolates of a new mum is seriously inconsiderate!

Not a case of 'Whomovedmychocolate' more 'myMILatemychocolate'

I tell all guests to help themselves to anything they need in the bathroom. It's part of the same spiel as, "sleep well; there's a spare blanket on the chair if you need it; if you're up before us, tea and coffee are in the cupboard over the kettle; help yourself to anything you can find..." My perfume's on my dressing table, so they'd have to invade my bedroom to go pinching it.

When visiting, I take my own. I was caught out as a teenager, when I forgot toothpaste, assumed I could borrow my friend's, then was shown into the totally empty guest bathroom as friend went off to bed on another floor.

I've occasionally forgotten stuff since, and have pinched the odd drop of shower gel , but I tend to think my friends would prefer that I washed than didn't. Wouldn't make a habit of it, and certainly wouldn't use more than was absolutely necessary.

Would anyone knowingly use the toothbrush or toothpaste used by someone with cold sores?

Wow, some of these responses really surprise me! The only thing I would use would be their soap or handwash. I woulnd't dream of helping myself to the rest unless for some reason I found myself with an unplanned overnight stay and even then I would ask!

Good grief some of you need to unclench!

It's people unclenching over my face cream which worries me valiumredhead

You touch my Jo Malone at your own risk :)

who has a guest bathroom to stock?!?!?! pmsl

I never thought about using other people's toothpaste until I met dh. Then I was off, such a fab idea! Brill! If it's out, use it. :)

Caz10 - would you want your MiL rubbing your body butter on her boobs then?

Note I said "close friends only" - that completely rules out my MIL then

Seriously though why are you all having people you are not close with to stay?! Our guests really are limited to my mates, many of whom I've lived with before anyway, it's much more likely that I'd be saying ooh I got some lovely new body butter you must dip your tits in try it

Ha! I knew I was very wrong to "borrow" perfume (and really only have at very good friends or mum's), but I had no idea some people thought it very wrong to use toothpaste! Yet another example of ways I have been horrifying and annoying people all my life without having a clue, AIBU is so useful in that regard - like using the word knackered, as I discovered a while back.

Shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste - all ok.

Anything else is an ask unless they have already said you can use it, and if the shampoo/conditioner looks like it cost £30 then don't touch!

I'll use all of it. But I'll only admit to the shampoo/conditioner.

:o G1nger

I do have good squirt of the nice moisturiser at the (chain brand) spa I go to when the therapist has left me to get dressed...

I'm with caz my guests are friends. Have shared houses with most of my friends at some point. They are welcome to a squirt or a spray of what ever I have. Probably wouldn't even object to a bit of boob dipping. I take my own stuff if I'm visiting someone else, but only in case they don't have summat I want or theirs is naff!

stella is knackered not acceptable?

Guest cupboard has toothpaste, soap, body lotion, tampons, towels, spare toothbrush, cleanser, shower gel, disposable razors. Bedroom has towels and flannel laid out.