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AIBU?

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Original poster

My sister is pissed out of her head , I'm annoyed should I be

48 replies

CreamolaFoamless · 03/02/2012 00:40

This is a vent post

I am so angry that my sister is drunk just now

They are going to lose their house.

I just wish I could make it better for her and kick her husband into touch

OP posts:
Original poster
CreamolaFoamless · 03/02/2012 00:41

but maybe i'm eing unreaseonable ...maybe he's right

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 03/02/2012 00:41

Who are you annoyed with?

Is your sister pissed because she is at the end of her tether with her husband?

ComposHat · 03/02/2012 00:43

This is very confusing.

She will lose her house because she is pissed? Why? Is she a council tenant and there are issues with noise/behaviour when she's drunk?

What does her husband have to do with it?

More info please!

keepingupwiththejoneses · 03/02/2012 00:47

Need more information to make a judgement.

Kayano · 03/02/2012 02:02

Kick her husband because she is drunk?

Did he pinch her nose and pour vodka down her throat?

Confused!

StrandedBear · 03/02/2012 07:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sunshineandbooks · 03/02/2012 07:37

Her getting drunk is probably a coping mechanism/form of denial. People do it all the time. Doesn't solve anything and can often make things 10x worse, but I doubt she's done it because she doesn't care about losing the house or isn't taking it seriously. Probably the opposite. Can't say more without knowing more.

W0rmy · 03/02/2012 07:44

Did you get a little bit drunk with her?

Original poster
CreamolaFoamless · 03/02/2012 11:02

No, she has problem with alcholol , it had looked as if things had turned a corner but it has all slid back downhill over the last few weeks.

Her husband is being a bit nasty and openly blaming her for 'everything'

He is on the brink of bankruptcy and it looks like they will loose their house. And he just keeps saying daft stuff like 'it would be easier if she just died'

OP posts:
BupcakesandCunting · 03/02/2012 11:15

Fucking hell. I think I'd be getting shitfaced if my DH was saying it would be betetr if I just died. :(

aldiwhore · 03/02/2012 11:17

Seconding Bupcakes

Its worrying though, her DH's bankrupty and horrible attitude isn't going to help her help herself if she has an existing problem.

Original poster
CreamolaFoamless · 03/02/2012 11:27

I know!

Im annoyed at myself for being annoyed at her IYSWIM , I just want her to get sober and have the strength to tell her husband were to get off

She was completely tee-total up until about 18 months ago when she had a hystorectomy (required due to on-going health issues) plunged her into depression and she started drinking, which is just not at all like her.

She gave up her job and this is where the problems started because she was the main earner, so her DH blames everything on her.

It's a complete mess and a horrible nightmare and so sad to see

OP posts:
reddevil1 · 03/02/2012 11:27

why is she drinking? has it always been like this or has it just recently started.

reddevil1 · 03/02/2012 11:30

maybe she needs to see her gp then get some help with the drinking her gp would have advice on where to go.

Birdsgottafly · 03/02/2012 11:35

I doubt that there are very few people who have lived with addicts that haven't thought that they wouldn't be sorry if they died, at times.

Men are supposed to cope at lot more with alcoholic wives than women are with alcoholic husbands and are often held accountable in ways that women aren't.

OP what you feel is perfectly natural. All you can do is get all the advice that you can on alcohol addiction and get tough (while being supportive) with your sister, so that she access help.

Original poster
CreamolaFoamless · 03/02/2012 11:42

Its recentish reddevil1 started about 18 months ago following her operation.

She drinks due to depression, that is something she openly acknowledges

I have looked into rehabs and most of them cost of fortune (it's about £1800 a week)

I really don't know where to turn

OP posts:
reddevil1 · 03/02/2012 12:04

have you looked on the nhs website it may offer information about clinics in your area just a thought.

duckdodgers · 03/02/2012 12:07

Her Gp should be her first port of call regarding alcohol rehab but this has to be something she wants to do, it must be hard feeling helpless to help someone you care about.

Original poster
CreamolaFoamless · 03/02/2012 12:15

The GP was next too no good unfortunatly . She was promised help and counselling but none of it materalized.

There is a hospital in Edinburgh (my home town) that deals with people with alcohol problems and we have looked into trying to get her admitted there but they won't take her unless she is deemed to be at risk of harming herself or others

She is at risk...twice in the last two weeks she has left her house , run away basically , and we've had to get the police out to find her.

She was found once on the riverbank talking about drowning herself and the other time in the graveyard by our parents headstones Sad

OP posts:
jesuswhatnext · 03/02/2012 12:21

she sounds desperate, you sound nice - try and get her to an AA meeting, (you can go in with her, you dont sign anything, or even need to give your real names) just let her listen, take her as often as you possibly can, perhaps she will hear similar stories and see that she can have hope that she can sort herself out - im an alcoholic and its helped keep me sober for nearly 2 years!

reddevil1 · 03/02/2012 12:22

sorry to here that so sad it must be a very worrying time for you all i,m not much help. tell the hospital all this and keep on at them. trouble is alchol is a terrible cycle when your drinking it makes you depressed and if your drinking on medication it won,t help she needs to sort out the depression and the drinking.

Birdsgottafly · 03/02/2012 12:23

Well now she fits the criteria. Have you been back in touch?

If she had of been in England, the police may have agreed to call in a psychiatrist to get her admited to a hospital and then refered as a day patient to a alcohol treatment clinic..

Can you not get her or her husband to go back to the GP, having to go the police involved changes things.

Original poster
CreamolaFoamless · 03/02/2012 13:03

thanks ...it is a complete mess

Her husband won't do anything ...he thinks everything is her fault

I'm trying so hard to be nice to him and keep him placid for my sisters sake but I really ,deep down, want to rip his head off

He is an alright man, but it was my sister who always wore the trousers in the relationship and he is just being so nasty , and so , me me me look at me I have all this crap to deal with .

He has even turned their daughter againest her

OP posts:
ComposHat · 03/02/2012 13:21

I know you are cross with your brother in law but he has lived with an alcoholic day-in-day-out. He is quite possibly at the end if his tether.

OffMeTrolley · 03/02/2012 13:34

I know you are cross with your brother in law but he has lived with an alcoholic day-in-day-out. He is quite possibly at the end if his tether.

this ^ plus the stress of losing their home. Anyone in their right mind would have bouts of nastiness

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