AIBU to refuse to allow my 13 year old to go to an all-night party?

[lesley2460]

DD nearly 14 wanting to go to party this Saturday night - no adults present at all, all night!! Oldest there will be 15. They have broadcast this party publicly on Facebook too! Think it's the biggest recipe for disaster I have ever heard of but apparently 'everyone' is going. Are all parents raving mad?

I wouldnt allow it, and if you know the parents, I would be ringing them to ask if they are actually aware of it too.

If they are aware of it, then more fools them, and they deserve whatever is coming to them.

No I wouldn't be happy at all. Could you ring some of the parents and check they know the arrangements too? Maybe allow your DD to have a get together at yours instead?
I consider myself fairly relaxed and have allowed DS (12) to do things that some on here consider a definite no no but an all night party with no adults that has been put on FB? NO WAY.

YADDDNBU! Agree with every word you say OP.
Is it in a house? Do the parents know it's going to happen?
That sort of set up can go hideously wrong.

hahahahhaha - NO !

If I let foster dd do that I would be fired by social services and possibly prosecuted for breach of care agreement and neglect.

I think people that do that for 13 year olds are complete idiots and shouldn't be left in charge of an opened tin of tuna.

I am all for fostering independence in dcs - but no to this! Sounds like a recipe for disaster. I would also wonder if other parents think it is just a sleepover or know what is actually planned.

No way and I think you should advise the parents as well.....

No I would deffo NOT let her go at that age, it is far too young for an all night party, (and I am reasonably laid back)!

LaurieFairyCake put it very well, esp. the bit about SS.

what are you worried about?

Seriously?

The parents ARE aware and have even contributed to the FB thread!

Absolutely not. I would not let my DC (17, 15, 13) go, particularly if no parents present and especially if it's been spread on Facebook.

How do you know it's been on Facebook? Has she told you? If so, perhaps she wants you to not allow her so that she can't go, but has a good reason to give to her friends - nasty parents!

No way.

Just before Christmas my friend's dd had a PJ party with a few friends... that's what her mum thought when we went out for the night.

We got a phone call half way through the evening. The house was trashed, I mean COMPLETELY... Xmas presents had been stolen, money, and Ipad. There was BACON stuck to every available surface, butter smeared on the walls, used condoms everywhere, burn holes from spliffs in carpets and someone had shit in my friend's nicker draw. Nice.

It wasn't advertised on FB, but announced to friends of friends of friends, and someone always knows a scumbag.

Every child present (who could be traced) was questioned by the police.

Worse though, my friends 14 yr old DD had been drunk and had been filmed having sex with one of the 'nice' lads. It did the rounds at school.

Her dd does well at school, is sensible, polite, and her mum rather niavely assumed that allowing her and a few friends to share some Lambrini wouldn't do much harm... of course, the first bottle didn't, and with no adult present to supervise they worked their way through the drink cabinet.

If there's no adult, there are no boundaries, even for an otherwise sensible child.

All night as in all night and not come home at all party?

If so, no no no!!! I remember my school year at 13, 14 and 15.

Don't do it!

I would probably allow a 15/16yo to go, but no way at 13. I know exactly what happens at teen parties.. how easily it all gets out of hand, how much drinking goes on, puking, crying, fighting, and a complete disrespect for the property that the party is being held in. There are always gatecrashers, and I have never known an all night party that hasnt ended in some sort of carnage.

My daughter and several of her friends are my friends on Facebook so it popped up on my news feed!! All the things I am hearing above are the very things I'm terrified of happening!

If the parents are aware, then they sound like the sort of irresponsible idiotsthat will be ringing up the Daily Mail on monday crying about how it is all Facebooks fault that their house was wrecked.. .. standing there in an affronted pose in front of the debris..

lesley

The parents must be stupid or naive to leave young teens in the house on their own after advertising the all night party on FB.

My mum allowed me to go to "all night" parties from the age of 15. I knew I could call her at any time to come and pick me up and she knew the parents who were hosting. We got up to some mischief^ but not much because we always knew that parents were close by (though bless the parents they didn't make their presence too apparent)

YANBU there is no way i would let any of my children go to any party that wasnt supervised by an adult. Anyone who knows about this and lets their kid go is a moron. Especially a its Splashed all over facebook aswell

Blood is running cold at this, no way, and parents are insane to be involved.

apparant

You know YANBU. Don't cave!

I remember a no parents party when I was 15 and the house got completely trashed, everyone was drunk, and all sorts of unsuitables (think 10 years older) started rolling up when the pubs shut. Someone even managed to break the whirligig in the garden. In the kitchen I remember one guy turning on the hob and putting a bottle of fanta on a ring. Pillows were burst everywhere and the bath was full of sick. So I would say no way.

PFFT has hell frozen over I wouldnt allow my near 14 yr old to a party that late never YANBU ,