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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my 10 yo DS playing computer games rated 16+

40 replies

clutteredup · 01/02/2012 21:28

DS has just come home from a friends house and has been stroppy all evening because we won't let him play 16+ games at home although he was playing them with a friend at their house. He tells us 'all' his friends are allowed to play them and TBH although it may not be all, I know that quite a few do , and where the mums aren't allowing them to the dads are buying them and still letting them play on them. My DH is on my side with this - but are we BU ?

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 01/02/2012 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LynetteScavo · 01/02/2012 21:43

YANBU.

Original poster
clutteredup · 01/02/2012 21:44

Thanks Euphemia I know I'm not really but I do wonder when so many other people seem to.

OP posts:
Original poster
clutteredup · 01/02/2012 21:45

And Lynette too thanks- I like MN it's so reassuring Grin

OP posts:
SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 01/02/2012 21:46

So fed up of this subject now. I realise that doesn't help you at all OP.
But since I'm allowed my opinion on here, he's 10, and all his friends are playing it. All the boys play COD, although I will say its online, not the missions.
Yabu.

Original poster
clutteredup · 01/02/2012 21:52

Squirted I'm really interested in hearing the other side as i'm aware that a lot of 10 yos do play these games - surely though htere must be some reason why these games are rated as they are because I can't believe the industry would reduce their audience without some kind of reasoning?

OP posts:
pinkhebe · 01/02/2012 21:56

I let my children play strategy games which are 15 rated, but I wouldn't let them play cod or 18+ games

Original poster
clutteredup · 01/02/2012 22:01

What's the difference between a 15 and a 16 , it seems like a fine line to draw - what makes something a 16, is it just the level of violence?

OP posts:
gallifrey · 01/02/2012 22:07

My friends kids aged 7 and 9 play grand theft auto which is an 18 :(
Now my 8 yr old dd wants to play it too.

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 01/02/2012 22:16

OP I'll answer you, but these threads (and there have been many) end up as slanging matches about parenting choices from people who openly admit they have never seen it. And I cba with that tonight.

If its played online, they can all be on the one team and invite their friends to play in the same game. They talk to each other via headsets. So like, x you go that way round the tanker, I'll go this way. Matches last about 10 minutes, and they get scores and points for kills and upgraded guns. It's mostly shooting opponents, a more graphic version of playing nerf guns in the garden. And I'll admit the graphics are good, but they do realise it's not real iyswim.

I suppose the age rating comes mostly from the missions that can be played individually. They are quite violent and my DS doesn't play those. I can see as the PS3 is in the open, not his bedroom. There's also an option at set up to not allow the more violent ones at all.

Why not ask one of the other parents if you can see the game being played before you decide? At least you are making an informed decision.

SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots · 01/02/2012 22:18

Gallifrey, gta is different. My comments ^ relate to call of duty, not that. I wouldn't allow grand theft auto as it really is violent and nasty.

sphil · 01/02/2012 22:26

Are these the Halo games you're talking about Cluttered? All of Ds's friends are obsessed with this atm (he is 10, in Yr 6) but DS doesn't have an X-Box so whether he can have the games or not doesn't arise (thank goodness). He did say the other week that he felt left out because they were all playing Halo games in the playground, but then watched some Halo footage on YouTube, bought himself some Halo Lego and now feels more informed! My worry with his best friend is not so much the content of the games but how bad-tempered it seems to make him when he plays them. DS has said that he doesn't enjoy going round to his house as much now, as his best friend is so stroppy when they play.

minimisschief · 01/02/2012 22:34

i disagree grand theft auto is rather tame compared to call of duty.

PushyDad · 02/02/2012 09:33

As a kid, most Sundays my parents would take the family to have lunch and then onto a cinema hired by community organisers where we would watch movies from the 'old country' (times before video and DVD were pretty barbaric :) ) Afterwards, while the grown ups would gossip we kids would practice on each other the kung fu moves that we just saw on the screen.

It really cracked me up listening to talking heads on TV going on about the effect of watching martial art/ninja movies on young, impressionable minds. We had a few unkind adjectives for kids with 'impressionable' minds.

Fast forward to today. My 11yr DS is allowed to play 18 games. As for movies, he can watch what he wants as long as there is no sex, nudity, slasher-type violence or violence towards women.

To no particular poster -

But shouldn't a child be busy doing other things?

Yes and that is why DS also is also a musician and a sportman (or is that sportsboy?). Why do some anti-COD parents assume that our kids do nothing but play PC games and toture animals?

But these games don't do anything useful?

Well, I'm guessing that DS knows more about WW II, Nazism, the Cold War, the war in the Pacific, the Chechen separatist movement etc then most other kids :) And why does a game have to be 'useful'? Darts for example serves no useful purpose other than giving a bunch of fat guys something to do while they drink.

Well, I don't want violent PC games in my house.

Fine. Your house, your child, your rules. Just don't get onto your high horse and go on about how you have properly brought up kids who have no interest in such things yada yada yada.

Gribble · 02/02/2012 09:42

what game is it OP?

fedupofnamechanging · 02/02/2012 09:46

If you are letting him play it in somebody else's house, you might as well let him have it at home, otherwise you are just sticking your head in the sand and ignoring the reality of what your child is doing.

I can understand saying a complete yes or no, depending on your personal view, but I can't get my head around this idea of 'yes, but not in my house'.

niceguy2 · 02/02/2012 09:47

Yes, what game is it?

Personally I think it's a choice for each parent. I'm happy enough to let mine play MW3 & GTA but not to watch a horror movie. I know my youngest is fine with the games and he'd be scared by the latter.

You know your kids best. It's up to you. Your house, your rules. My house, my rules.

cakewench · 02/02/2012 10:00

Agree with Squirted here. I game when I have time to, some are more violent than others, some missions are worse than others.

You know your child better than we do, as well. I can't say all children should be able to watch certain horror movies, but I know I was from age 11 or so and was just fine with them.

StrandedBear · 02/02/2012 10:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PushyDad · 02/02/2012 10:02

In my need to rant I forgot to address the OP's question.

I don't see a problem with a child playing a game that has a older age rating AS LONG AS your child is not being negatively affected by the experience. And only you, as a parent can answer that and not some panel of censors.

Too often I have read some poster go on about how a PC game has given their DC nightmares or made him behave anti-socially. Therefore PC games are bad for children. And then in another thread I read about how that DC has learning/behavioural problems. Could it be that the DC reacted to the game the way he did because of his problems as opposed to anything else?

All I know is that I watched violent movies as a kid and I went on to become a 'normal' suburban 9 to 5 corporate drone. I've allowed my DS the same amount of freedom and he is a polite, well behaved 11 yr old scholar student. If other parents have negative stories to tell then I suggest that it has nothing to do with the games themselves and perhaps you should focus on figuring that what that is rather than blame PC games and/or videos.

frankie3 · 02/02/2012 10:10

Karmabeliever, I disagree. I have parental control on our computer at home so that my ds 10 cannot watch porn, although I am sure he sees it at some friends houses as most of his friends do not have any parental control.

The same with computer games. If he plays on 16 or 18 games at a friends house very occasionally , this is very different to him playing them every few days at home. I think some of these games are very nasty and I don't want my 10 year old playing them. But of course I live in the real world and know that unless I want him to have no friends I can't control what he does at friends houses. Although there is one particular friend who I won't let him play with any more as they watched illegally downloaded 18 movie and the mum was the one who sorted it out for them!!

Gribble · 02/02/2012 10:11

I ignore age ratings, people I dont know deciding if my DC is old enough to watch / play a game - nah, I'll do that as the parent thanks very much.

aldiwhore · 02/02/2012 10:12

YANBU. But I would encourage you to look at the game content if you can. Some are okay for some, others are inappropriate.

pigsinmud · 02/02/2012 10:22

Of course yanbu. It is totally up to you. My boys are not allowed them. 13 year old is not interested as he just wants to play Fifa 12. 11 year old is obsessed with getting one of these games as all his friends have them - I know that is not true. I know he has played them when he has been at a friend's house.

I am not bothered what other parents do and I don't think if you play them you are going to turn in to a violent nutter, I just don't want my 11 year old playing them.

They have both played Skyrim (and so have I!) which is a 15. Perhaps that is hypocritical of me as that game involves going on quests with medieval weapons so killing is involved, however there is hardly any swearing.

TotemPole · 02/02/2012 10:32

As for movies, he can watch what he wants as long as there is no sex, nudity, slasher-type violence or violence towards women.

PushyDad, that doesn't leave many 15s and even fewer 18s. There's usually at least nudity.

I agree that you make a decision based on the individual child and the game/film. Ratings are a guide.

I also agree with the comment upthread regarding frequency. If they're watching/playing daily then it could normalise the violence. But now and then doesn't have the same potential to affect them.