to not want my 10 yo DS playing computer games rated 16+

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DS has just come home from a friends house and has been stroppy all evening because we won't let him play 16+ games at home although he was playing them with a friend at their house. He tells us 'all' his friends are allowed to play them and TBH although it may not be all, I know that quite a few do , and where the mums aren't allowing them to the dads are buying them and still letting them play on them. My DH is on my side with this - but are we BU ?

YANBU Your kid your rules. If you do not want him playing 16+ games then do not let him play them.

It doesn't matter if all his friends are doing it, it will end up biting you on the arse because in a few years time when he is a teenager he will remember this and whenever he wants to do something or wants something this allowance will be remembered.

I play games and a 16 game is a 16 game for a reason. Graphics on games now are so realistic that it does look real. I cant believe for one second that parents who allow their dc's to play these games know the contents of the game.

I would disagree that the graphics look real. They are very good, but still look like CGI, they are not film quality imo.

Killing with blade weapons in a medieval setting is ok but using a knife on a sentry in COD isn't. Yup, you are being hypocritical. Well, you did put the question out there schilke.

PushyDad, that doesn't leave many 15s and even fewer 18s. There's usually at least nudity.

Actually, I'm amazed at how little nudity there is these days. Just my opinion but these days the main audience for blockbusters tend to be young males who want special effects, car chases, gun fights. The female star tend to be eye candy and there is little development there that might lead to nudity and sex. Usually it is a case of 'reload this' as Tom Cruise goes on to demolish more bad guys.

I've just went to scan my dvd shelf and, hand on heart, there is no nudity and I've got most of the recent blockbusters.

It must be the films I've seen recently, affecting my perspective.

YABU. The original Mortal Kombat was released when I was ten. It caused plenty of media hysteria at the time, but I played it to death without any adverse long term effects in the 18 years since.

Bottom line: If you think your kid is a well-adjusted rational human being, let him play 15 rated games. If he's not, the games are not what you need to be worrying about

TotemPole - You'll have to tell me what films you've been seeing. Tongues will wag if the neighbours or in-laws saw titles like 'Hooters Rock' on my DVD shelf. But if you could suggest some respectably titled films where nudity and sex was an 'essential' part of the plot then I've got cover. Just kiddin' .. or not :)

We have the same problem with our 11yr olds, they keep asking to play 16+ rated games, and DH and I have said no, we let them play up to 16 rated as it is. I say they are not rated as suitable for adults without reason, and when you are older you can make your own decision. When they went round their friends house and he was playing an 18 (and he is 9), they said to his mum that they were not allowed to play, and she was good enough to ask him to stop, and upheld my wishes, but she had said she hadn't thought about it it, as her DH had bought the game and she hadn't seen it. When she actually watched for a bit, she also stopped her son from playing!

There appears to be common theme here. The dads don't think its a big deal but the mums do.

I did say I was being hypocritical, but skyrim is rated 15 not 18. 15 is my limit. We all have our reasons - I find something makes me feel uncomfortable with modern war settings plus the language seems dreadful. I know my boys know the swear words, but I don't want that language blaring out of the sitting room within earshot of my younger children.

You said that perhaps you were being hypocritical. I was just making the point that there was no 'perhaps' about.

If I live to be a 100 I still won't be able to understand parents who are proud of their DC's martial arts grade yet have a thing about DC playing a SAS soldier combatting a bunch of terrorists.

Ok to learn to do an axe kick on another kid. Not ok to use a M14 on a bad guy on a monitor.

I have two lovely boys 8 and 13.
They are both polite,well behaved individuals who(along with their friends in their peer group) love these games. like pushy's kids they enjoy lots of other activities too and are doing great at school. My sister does not allow her son(12) to play these games and I respect her choice. Oh and pushy for clarity I am a mum!

COD Mums Rule Ok

Thanks, pushydad

We had a 'no-16's' rule here for 11ds until quite recently.....there was only one game he wanted to play, as it happened, and he knows that we won't allow things we think are too violent/disturbing in a dark and nasty way.

So we sat down and chatted about it....the skateboard game he wanted was only a 16 "because of the swearing" and his friends were allowed to play it with the speech off(!)

It felt like a step on the long path of negotiating childhood-to-adulthood, and he was really grownup about it, not whingey as I had expected.

So, we let him buy it and it is the MOST tedious game I have ever seen..just skateboarding about the place...but it's the 'thing of the moment here'

On reflection, I think now I would now look at it game-by-game rather than a blanket ban..as long as he knows we still have absolute veto!