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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate going to toddler groups?

27 replies

OneLittleChicken · 31/01/2012 21:07

I have 3 DC's and have always hated going to toddler groups although I sometimes drag myself along as DC's quite enjoy them. I also don't like play dates where I have to go along and make small talk for hours with someone I have little in common with apart from our DC's. Am I a moody cow and bad mother or does anyone else feel like this?!

OP posts:
amistillsexy · 31/01/2012 21:09

No, everyone feels like this. I think they should give us extra drugs after the birth just to get us through! Grin

PinkFondantFancy · 31/01/2012 21:09

I agree but I am rubbish at small talk and find it hard to find any non DC related common ground

aldiwhore · 31/01/2012 21:10

YANBU.

Saying that, after suffering many playdates, I've made a few firm friends, so I'd never say NOOOOO)OO to the first invite.

Toddler groups are the devil's work and more about the gossiping adults that the children's fun... I still went to the blardy things though, because my kids loved them. I kept in mind Monty Python, which made the experience rather amusing rather than blood boiling.

WorraLiberty · 31/01/2012 21:10

I never bothered with toddler groups...I just waited til they turned 3 and went to the local School Nursery without me Grin

TheSkiingGardener · 31/01/2012 21:15

Toddler groups and playmates are like flinging jelly at a tiny target. Sometimes you'll get a hit and make a really good friend for life. Most of the time it will be a pain in the backside. I go and if DS loves it, stick it out and try and talk to people. After all, if I try for long enough I might eventually learn what this bloody small talk is.

ThreeForTea · 31/01/2012 21:15

Do you have any friends from your previous life who have kids you could spend time with, or people from any outside adult interests that you natrually click with? Found that this is often the only way to guaruntee something to chat about that you are actually interested in, not just nodding along! I think it is possible to make actual friends at groups but def not the norm. Well done for going for your kids though, it will be doing them good.

sharenicely · 31/01/2012 21:21

I enjoy going because I like talking to grown ups and get bored staying at home all day.

Original poster
OneLittleChicken · 31/01/2012 21:24

I do wish I felt more sociable!

OP posts:
fullofregrets · 31/01/2012 21:32

I lost the will to live when the parents started talking about favourite cereals. I heard a riveting anecdote about someone's DD calling weetabix 'bixy' followed by other mothers sharing similarly 'hilarious' stories. My how we laughed.

bobbledunk · 31/01/2012 21:36

I'll never do it, when she hits the toddler age she can play with friend's kids, her cousins or the neighbours kids, being stuck in a room full of 'mommies' and their toddlers sound's like my worst nightmare. It would be very depressing to have to make small talk with people whose only commonality is same age children.

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 31/01/2012 21:40

Well, there are toddler groups and toddler groups. Basically, I agree with the OP and find that they bring out the moodiest cow bit of me. But some groups are absolute gems, and I've found that it's always worth making the effort...

cheekyseamonkey · 31/01/2012 21:43

I've clearly got great taste in toddler groups. No family close by, so essential. I seem to find people with loads in common with me, nice kids & little or no mention of poo, cereal or sleep. Just chat about our pre baby lives, fave wine & other 'normal' conversation!

It's my sanity!

fullofregrets · 31/01/2012 21:49

Poo is often a staple source of conversation at toddler groups I've found. Consistency, colour and frequency are all matters discussed openly.

It's a bit tmi.

KD0706 · 31/01/2012 21:58

I actually really enjoy toddler groups. I'm embarrassed to say I'm not sure how we would fill our days without them.
I go to some sort of activity with DD each day.

At toddler groups she generally goes off and plays with new toys, interacts a bit with other children. And I'm happy either sat with a coffee on my own, or making inane conversation with another random mum/carer.

Though I did find myself the other week speaking about DDs poo, so I'm probably the mum that the rest of you avoid!! Smile

smoggii · 31/01/2012 22:00

If you really can find nothing to talk about apart from your DCs maybe the toddler group isn't the problem Hmm

Bingdweller · 31/01/2012 22:00

They're not for everyone. I think it's all about finding the right group for you & giving it a few weeks before deciding for sure. I always try to speak and be friendly to newcomers coming to the one I go to - its a horrible feeling pushing the door open not the unknown for the first time and not knowing anyone. I was lucky to start going with friends so had back-up! Toddler groups do kill a couple of hours though and tire the wee buggers out !

ArtexMonkey · 31/01/2012 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nicknamenotinuse · 31/01/2012 22:08

I hate them too, I was feeling a bit weird about myself today as thought I was the only person to hate this type of thing. This thread couldn't have come on a better day for me! I find some of the smug mums very very annoying and the inane chat about utter shite quite annoying too.

awomenscorned · 31/01/2012 22:12

No they are shit but I do go now and again for an hour tops.

nicknamenotinuse · 31/01/2012 22:14

....oh, I need to move the conversation to the next level. I shall enjoy them from this day forward.

BsshBossh · 31/01/2012 22:14

I never bothered with baby and toddler groups but then DD was at nursery and a CM so she socialised there. She's started preschool now and I am making much more of an effort with playdates each week because when she starts school she'll already know her friends' parents so I'll be able to her with them and they'll be able to leave their DC with me Grin. I'm not unsociable (much) but when DC play I like to get on with things rather than chit chat.

Having said that I am beginning to enjoy spending time with some of the mums and can see some real friendships developing.

BsshBossh · 31/01/2012 22:15

*able to leave her with them

BsshBossh · 31/01/2012 22:21

I agree with smoggii though. I am not naturally sociable but I am inquisitive/curious enough about other people that I always find intetesting things to chat about aside from our DC with other parents on playdates or in the playground. Most people are actually quite interesting if you ask the right questions and then bother to listen carefully.

FrecklesAreOut · 31/01/2012 22:27

so pleased that stage passed!

TalkingTwins · 31/01/2012 22:39

I'm like BsshBossh. I never fancied or bothered with baby and toddler groups etc but now DDs at preschool I kind of feel left out! I found out that most parents had already formed their little "group" through the baby and toddler meetings. I am a shy person, but I am now making a big effort to be friendly to my DDs friend's parents at preschool as I know I will see them on the school run for the next few years.

So my advice is to go to the groups, and pretend to enjoy yourself!