to still send dd1 to the cm even though i'm on mat leave

[MarmiteMagic]

Dd1 is 2 and has been going to a cm since I returned to work last january. The cm is brilliant with her and after hearing various horror stories of childcare I'm very anxious not to lose her so DP and I decided to keep sending dd1 3 days a week whilst I'm on mat leave with dd2.

Dd1 loves the cm, she's always happy to go (in fact she barely gives me a backwards glance) and she gets on really well with the other mindees. I make sure on the days it's just me and the girls that we do something fun (even if it's just making a den out of the dining table and a sheet) and at the weekends DP is here with us too. We spend loads of time together as a family and actively doing stuff with dd1 (rather than just passively looking after her). So why does everyone look at me like I've got two heads when I say we still use our cm? Surely its the same as having a nanny?

The only other alternatives are to a) pay a retainer or b) keep fingers crossed that she's still got places when I go back to work for dds 1 and 2

So what do you think? AIBU?

I kept my 2 yr old at nursery when I was on mat leave with ds2 for all the reasons stated earlier

YANBU DD continued at nursery throughout my 6 months mat leave with DS & i'm in slightly unusual situation where DH is stay at home dad. So we were 2 parents at home for 6 months, but thats how our family rolls, DD is very demanding and this gave us 1-2-1 time with DS and i put DH to work and got new kitchen and redecorated house!

YANBU to send DD but YABU to emphasise how much you do with her.

YANBU, I did the same thing myself. Used to send DS to nursery 2 days a week 1) so I didn't loose place 2) social interaction with other children 3) continuity of routine. If you stop sending your DD to CM you might loose your place or your DD may get out of the habit of going and it be a struggle when you go back to work. Also, it is good for DD2 to have one to one with you - something that is quite important for a second born as they tend to usually have to fit in with the older child. Also gives you a chance to have a bit of a rest when baby sleeps, meaning you have more energy for DD1 when she is home.

I am doing this, 3 days a week in nursery, drop off late and earlier pick up. dS perfectly happy, me slightly less knackered, and very glad I found this thread!

Awomenscorned- I didn't include how much I do with dd1 in my post to emphasise that I'm great or anything, merely to point out that the reason I'm still sending her to the cm isn't because she's now been 'replaced' by the new baby.

I think it depends on the child,if they enjoy going i dont see why not.Im a sahm and at the minute ive ds3 in playschool 5 days a week and ds 4 in creche 2 days a week,and i find its a godsend.Them days i get lots done as ive only the baby.
I wouldnt worry bout anyone else just do what works for you.

Yet another YANBU here. She'll have a chance to play with other children and do activities she wouldn't get to do at home when she is at the cm. You wouldn't be doing her any favours setting her up for a big change in routine when you go back to work.

I'd think of it as an extra special treat she gets to go to a couple of times a week because she is a big girl, not some sort of exclusion! You will have lovely chats with her when she comes home after nursery where she gets to show you her paintings and talk proudly about what she has done.

I am a CM and have 4 children on my books who have younger sibling babies at home. Their care days were lessened when baby came along (budget needs as only one income now), but their place is retained. On a practical level, I have a long waiting list and they did wish to retain my services. I have also lost kids when siblings arrive. Everyone is different :)

YANBU.

As a 2nd child myself I think I always identify with the 2nd child - and DC2 deserves to have some one to one time too. Little babies need to have some time to just be held and cuddled without a big brother jumping on them or screaming in their ear.

I have kept DS1 in nursery 2 days a week - all the same reasons as above (especially the keeping the place thing - apparently 10 months notice for the baby and for a 3rd day for DS1 was not enough....). I think it would be far more disruptive to him to be taken out of nursery, then put back in 10 months later and have to adjust all over again.

The biggest reason though is that it gives me a break. Who knew that a day with a baby could be so relaxing?? And then the 3 weekdays with DS1 too I have some energy to do all the fun things he likes doing.

I can understand why some people, especially those who have not gone back to work between babies, would want to have their toddler home with them all the time. But I hope they can understand this choice is equally valid.