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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am aren't I? Don't want DS to go on school trip he is too small!

184 replies

BupcakesandCunting · 31/01/2012 12:32

DS is in reception class (4 years old) and we got a letter home last week to say they are going on a school trip to Twycross Zoo. I offered my services as a parent helper as I do help out sometimes at the forest school/trips etc and his teacher said "No but thanks, we'll be taking members of staff for school so we're all covered!"

Errrr, you what?! How many staff are they taking to cover 60 4/5 year olds?! There's only ten teachers at the school anyway and I don't think they'll be taking all of the teachers out.

Oh help me and tell me I'm being a nob. I have visions of DS or one of his classmates inadvertently getting separated and lost from their class or whatever. In my defence, I'm not the only one I earwigged on some other mums this morning in the playground and they're a bit Hmm about it too.

OP posts:
quorncookingmum · 31/01/2012 12:42

Well my DS who is now five missed out on two trips on nursery age nearly four and nearly five as I just felt uneasy about him going in a big group and without me or DP. i did ask his room leader what the ration would be and she said each child would have an adult hand to hold ie two children per one adult.

He is now in reception and although i do not feel any 'better' I probably would let him go on a trip simply becuse he would be very aware and feel left out if he didnt go with his classmates (he wasn't aware really when in Nursery so not an issue then).

Would you feel able to have a quiet word with his teacher, there is no shame in feeling anxious after all they are still very small! If they know your concerns i would bet they will make room for you to come along as a 'helper' Smile

Original poster
BupcakesandCunting · 31/01/2012 12:48

Thanks quorn :)

He knows all about the trip as they talked to them about it before they handed the letters out so am very concious of not making him miss out. He is chattering on about it already! Confused

Yes, i think I will ask the teacher about adult/child ratios.

OP posts:
Bunbaker · 31/01/2012 12:48

DD's primary school had a policy of no parents for any school outings. I was always happy to let her go because the school had plenty of TAs and NTAs at their disposal to help out. These assistants weren't at school every day, but on an as and when basis. Pehaps your son's school operates a similar policy.

If I were you I would have a chat with the class teacher and find out the facts. I'm sure you won't be the only parent with concerns. If there are plenty of adults and your son is the only one not going it might seem a little unfair, although I do understand your concerns. It is really hard letting go.

Hullygully · 31/01/2012 12:48

you are being a nob

hth

Original poster
BupcakesandCunting · 31/01/2012 12:49

Fuckyouverymuch HullyGULLY if that is even your real name.

OP posts:
5Foot5 · 31/01/2012 12:49

I understand how you feel but I think you should let him go. The teachers are hardly likely to organize a trip and turn down offers of additional help if they are not confident that they have the ratios right and can keep an eye on everyone.

At this age it must be somewhat easier than nursery because they will have had several months of school so are probably old enough to be able to follow instructions about staying with a partner, holding hands etc.

ceebie · 31/01/2012 12:49

Aww bless. Tell the school that you are pleased they are taking him on the trip but would just like a little bit more information about staff to children ratios. Perhaps if there are other parents concerned you could enquire together or one of you on behalf of all concerned.

Also, surely they should be delighted about the offer of additional help? Perhaps ask politely about their reason for declining? I'm sure extra parents volunteering would put the non-attending parents' minds at ease!

It is great that they are doing this - many nurseries and schools don't any more for fear of paperwork and problems.

squeakytoy · 31/01/2012 12:50

He will not get eaten by lions or tigers... stop worrying and let him go if he wants to go!

treas · 31/01/2012 12:50

You Are being a nobGrin

School does not just have teachers, it has admin staff, catering staff etc.

My dd's entire school travelled to Weymouth by train with only members of staff from the school. It worked out at 5 children per adult.

The school does trips like this year on out and probably go through more safety checks than you would on a day out.

Try not to worry - he will have the time of his life, even better because it is an experience which is completely his own and not controlled by his family. He'll think he's the bees knees and so grown up!

squeakytoy · 31/01/2012 12:51

And anyway.. the zoo is a public place, so there is nothing at all to stop you going and watching from a distance Wink

CogitoErgoSometimes · 31/01/2012 12:51

Everyone is on pins for that first school trip. The trick is to smile broadly, say 'have a great time' and wave them off on the coach - even if you're a bag of nerves until you see that coach again. Schools returning a child short are very rare.

WheresTheCat · 31/01/2012 12:52

TBH I felt like this on the first school trip, and that was only to the beach down the road. If you say no to this one, then you'll want to say no to the next, and the next.
Schools have ratios of adults to children, so your DS will be fine, but talk to the teacher about who will be going if you're concerned. Your SD will love the trip! Be brave and let him go - then next time it will be easier - honest!

MateyMooo · 31/01/2012 12:52

you are not being a nob!

My dd is 8 and i'm having second thoughts about letting her go to Hampton Court with the school.

Of course she will go...but i will be worrying all day.

AngelDelightIsIndeedDelightful · 31/01/2012 12:53

YANBU to worry, but YABU to even consider not letting him go. I find it incredibly difficult whenever dd1 is off the premises (firstly at nursery and now at school in reception) but you kind of have to deal with it. They'd never do anything otherwise.

Dd knows that I worry. Grandad once lost her in a toy shop and dh did in Tesco's so we have discussed how broken hearted mommy would be if she was lost forever. I've tried to strike a balance between encouraging her to make sure that she knows where the responsible adult is and not scaring her silly. Your ds is old enough to talk to him about it.

Original poster
BupcakesandCunting · 31/01/2012 12:53

"And anyway.. the zoo is a public place, so there is nothing at all to stop you going and watching from a distance"

I hadn't thought of that.

No, really. I hadn't.

Not at all.

Blush
OP posts:
WheresTheCat · 31/01/2012 12:54

Sorry, should say DS not SD

And re. health and safety - we teachers have to fill in mammoth amounts of paperwork before we even consider taking any child anywhere - so your DS's teacher will be bale to reassure you - you won't be the first parent to be anxious!

DreamingofSummer · 31/01/2012 12:55

He'll be fine. A part of growing up.

Mind you .......

click here

WorraLiberty · 31/01/2012 12:55

I've lost count of the amount of school trips I've helped out on during the last 17 years.

But I can tell you one thing, over the last 5 or 6 years the adult to child ratio has got much smaller...especially for Reception children.

The last time I went to the zoo, I had 4 kids in my group so I could hold two hands and make sure the other two held hands and walked right in front of me.

Also, each helpers group was paired with a teacher's group so there were 2 adults to every 8 children.

smackapacca · 31/01/2012 12:56

Buppy are you worried that Mike & Gaynor will be there ranting at your son for never receiving their card from Peter and Sheila this year?

Mmmm?

You should be.

Original poster
BupcakesandCunting · 31/01/2012 12:59

No, Mike and Gaynor will be at mine.

OP posts:
Honeydragon · 31/01/2012 12:59

You are being a nob but I was just as nobbish over ds's first trip at four

Denj33 · 31/01/2012 13:01

If you worry and fret about it, so will your DS. I know it's really hard to see them go off on the first school trip but it's important for the kids to feel secure and safe when they go somewhere unfamiliar without mum or dad. The school does have procedures in place to make all the kids are safe and if you ( pretend) to be excited, he will have a better time rather than thinking there is something to be afraid of

BalloonSlayer · 31/01/2012 13:02

Noooooooooooo you can't go there yourself and stalk your own child!!!!!!! However much you would like to. If you do that he'll still be living at home at 46 never having had a girlfriend, you know that don't you?

You will just have to SUFFER. ALL. THE. AGONIES. of the helicopter Mum who has had her rotor blades decommissioned for the day.

I know what I am talking about. I am the woman who kerb-crawled drove a very very very long way round to the shops and back on the day DD did her "walk round the village with the school" to make sure they hadn't lost her or let her get run over. Blush

FeelingsorryforSnape · 31/01/2012 13:02

Ask what the ratio of adults to children will be and make a decision based on that.

ZeldaUpNorth · 31/01/2012 13:03

Before Christmas my DD2 (3) went on a trip with the nursery on the school bus then the metro then to Fenwicks (newcastle) to see the window and meet Santa. Fortunately I was allowed to go, but 1 parent met us there and took his son round (check with teacher 1st though) Then he just took his ds home himself. If i wasnt allowed to go i would of still let her though.