Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am aren't I? Don't want DS to go on school trip he is too small!

184 replies

BupcakesandCunting · 31/01/2012 12:32

DS is in reception class (4 years old) and we got a letter home last week to say they are going on a school trip to Twycross Zoo. I offered my services as a parent helper as I do help out sometimes at the forest school/trips etc and his teacher said "No but thanks, we'll be taking members of staff for school so we're all covered!"

Errrr, you what?! How many staff are they taking to cover 60 4/5 year olds?! There's only ten teachers at the school anyway and I don't think they'll be taking all of the teachers out.

Oh help me and tell me I'm being a nob. I have visions of DS or one of his classmates inadvertently getting separated and lost from their class or whatever. In my defence, I'm not the only one I earwigged on some other mums this morning in the playground and they're a bit Hmm about it too.

OP posts:
sodapops · 31/01/2012 17:30

YANBU to worry at all, but you have to let them go. It get's worse as they get older I find.

Last Monday I had a minor op under GA. Whilst I was waiting to go down DS2(15) rang me all excited Cambridge University for 3 days. He was desperate to go and was alll "Please, please, please, pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaassssssssssse". Yes said I, and got DH to fill the form in that night and post it off. When I was a bit more with it I read the letter. I have allowed my --baby- - DS to go to a 3 day science masterclass. No teachers are going, none of his friends are going and from what I can gather he will be allowed out and about a bit. I shall be worried sick, but he will be fine, he will have a whale of a time and learn loads from the experience.

Just think of when he gets back from the trip full of the joys and really excited to tell you all about it!

OriginalJamie · 31/01/2012 17:32

LeBof - I know what you mean. I do not worry sufficiently about some things, like school trips. Never have done. But then I make up for it by worrying excessively about others

usualsuspect · 31/01/2012 17:33

I let all my kids go on school trips , I never really worried that much either tbh

I did go as a parent helper on a few , with no actual training Shock you weren't even crb checked in the olden days

AngryFeet · 31/01/2012 17:37

We are asked to come on school trips in reception (if we can't come we need to make sure our child is allocated to another parent who can only have their DC and one more to take care of). I think I would feel uncomfortable at this age too. They seem a lot more sensible in Y1 (then they have 4 children to one adult).

DS (4) is going to the Natural History Museum next month and I would spend the whole day shitting bricks if someone else was watching him and 3 or more others in such a big space tbh.

And I am not particularly anxious as a mother. A few very PFB mums in DS class already asked me if they could go on the school trips this year and I doubt they would let their DC go if they couldn't.

CokeFan · 31/01/2012 17:49

We got locked in at Twycross Zoo for a couple of hours when we went there last year.

A male chimp "escaped" - or at least managed to get somewhere it shouldn't have been rather than roaming free, I think - and they had to tranquillise it.

The keepers were running around getting everyone indoors (we got shut in the indoor bit of one of the other monkey houses with loads of other people). It was a bit exciting. It would have been better if we'd been near a cafe and managed to get in there though.

Don't worry though - I'm sure it hardly ever happens Grin

CalatalieSisters · 31/01/2012 17:52

ROFL: he'll never get to go on the trip now!

I've been there loads of times without dangerous wild animals hanging out with the little children.Grin

AmazingBouncingFerret · 31/01/2012 18:09

The chimps are great. Before they fixed the doors Hmm they used to poke bits of paper to you and then run to the next door and demand you post it back, you could also touch fingers with them.

piprabbit · 31/01/2012 18:13

After DDs reception class trip to the zoo, the parents got invited into school. The children did a presentation on their trip (animals masks and pictures of their favourite animals) and we watched a slideshow of pictures that had been taken on the trip.
Then we all went and had school dinners together.

It was lovely.

babybythesea · 31/01/2012 18:19

I'll come at this from a slightly different angle - I have worked for the last 12 years in two organisations who take visiting school kids. I teach the groups and lead guided tours round the facility.

Most parents are fine leading groups but a significant minority are not. I have dealt with parents who bring other children along (toddlers, for example). The toddlers have then run riot in the lesson - I have had to ask parents to take disruptive younger siblings out. For heaven's sake - it's a lesson paid for to cover areas of the curriculum. You wouldn't let your toddler run around in the back of the school classroom, mine is no different. I have had parents who sit their toddlers in with the group which means the school kids spend their whole time fussing over the toddler and not paying attention to the lesson I am trying to teach. I have had parents ignore the chldren they are supposed to be shepherding in favour of dealing with and chatting to their children (both those who are part of the class and those who are not). It is horrible watching a group of children who are basically being ignored by the adult in charge because she (and it is almost always mothers who come) is too busy sharing the visit with her own offspring (not something teachers always see if they have their own group and everyone has split up for a short time).

Children often play up if their parent is there - hang off their arms and demand lots of cuddles and help, and get their mother to carry things for them while the other children just have to get on with it.
It is by no means all the time, not even half the time, that you see things like this, but it happens enough to make me decide that although I will be volunteering to help with my dd's class, if they need help, I will always ask to be in charge of other groups so I don't fall into any of these traps, and I certainly won't be taking younger children along for the day out!

And at these venues, we help teachers with risk assessments of the site so even if the staff from the school aren't familiar with it, the staff working there are. We work somewhere very very similar and have our own policies in addition to the school ones. So, for example, we are also a tourist destination. If a child is reported missing and does not turn up within five minutes the entire site goes into lock down with all gates manned and no-one allowed in or out until the child is located. We have had schools warn us that a child was 'a runner' and site staff have been alerted just in case so there will be procedures in place separate from those of the school. Double protection. He'll be fine!

Dancergirl · 31/01/2012 19:54

Haven't read the whole thread but am I missing something here? My dds have been on all sorts of school trips from Reception upwards and it's never ever occured to me they might not be safe. I've never asked about the adult:child ratio - I've just taken as read the school knows what it's doing...

Adversecamber · 31/01/2012 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AngryFeet · 01/02/2012 16:27

Spoke too soon. Just got a letter about a trip to the Natural History Museum in London at the end of this month. They only need a few parent helpers so I got it wrong. Will put my name down but if I am not picked I will still let him go. I feel a bit nervous taking my two there by myself as it is so busy all the time so I do feel a bit anxious that someone else will be watching him. But I will stuck it up and let him go. DD went in YR and was fine as are all the other kids they take each year. I know for a fact at least one mum who will refuse to let her dc go if she isn't picked as a helper though!

akaemmafrost · 01/02/2012 16:40

Have scanned the thread. Imo 4 yo is too young. Dd's class went into London City Centre for a trip, I was not comfortable with it so I kept her off sick that day. Somehow they managed to arrive back with all children so dd probably would have made it back too Grin but I just wasn't comfortable, felt sick at the thought of her being so far away from me tbh.

exoticfruits · 01/02/2012 19:11

What a shame akaemmafrost that you let your anxieties hold back your DC. I do hope that you are going to get over them/hide them and not let your DC suffer in future years. Sad

HappyMummyOfOne · 01/02/2012 19:56

Our school uses teachers, assistants and volunteers that already help in school and have been CRB checked. If the volunteers are parents then those who dont have children going on the trip are asked first.

FlightRisk · 01/02/2012 20:01

Ok I just told DS that you're not letting your child go on the school trip because you can't go.

He's 10 his words were "er its a school trip not a parent and child trip" I think he says it all doesn't he.

When I was in school parents never came. I know nothing bad happened to us.

akaemmafrost · 01/02/2012 20:06

Not really exoticfruits I have an autistic child and dd also has traits so I weighed up the pros and cons and decided against it Smile.

My children have actually travelled pretty extensively without me, with various family members and friends but on balance in this particular situation I did not have confidence in the school so did not let it go ahead. It is very telling that neither of my children attend that particular school now.

The trip was to the National Gallery, my children have been there many times so I didn't feel I was holding dd back particularly.

notfluffyatall · 01/02/2012 20:08

Ffs I thought it might have been 5 days away on a ski trip or something and it's a day trip to the zoo! How can you stand him going to school at all if you have so little faith in the teacher?

And to even consider stalking them round the zoo? Ridiculous.

akaemmafrost · 01/02/2012 20:11

I don't actually think there is anything wrong AT ALL with your concerns OP, they are perfect natural. Sometimes the competitive "benign neglect" on MN really grates.

Dancergirl · 01/02/2012 20:11

exoticfruits - exactly. Dh thinks we're raising a generation of children afraid of their own shadows with this sort of attitude.

Either you trust the school or you don't. And what a shame if the first thing you think of when getting a letter about a school trip is the safety issue, not what a wonderful opportunity, they'll have a fantastic time etc.

akaemmafrost · 01/02/2012 20:15

"Dh thinks we're raising a generation of children afraid of their own shadows with this sort of attitude."

On what evidence? How many children does he know who are afraid of their own shadows Dancergirl?

notfluffyatall · 01/02/2012 20:20

My daughter, 4 at the time, walked from her school into town, a walk of about a mile and a half, busy roads the whole way, to go to the cinema with her schoolmates. There would have been about 60 kids. I trusted the school implicitly to care for my child and that's exactly what they did. She had a lovely time.

Dancergirl · 01/02/2012 20:24

No evidence akaemmafrost, just his personal feeling on seeing so many people worrying about trivial matters. I'm not saying about you personally and I see you had issues with the school generally which is another matter entirely. But I would never consider in a million years not sending my child on a school trip because I was worried he/she wouldn't be safe/adult:child ratios/not enough supervision etc. Be it any age child and either day or residential. I trust the school and completely assume they adhere to the (very strict) rules we have these days regarding such matters.

akaemmafrost · 01/02/2012 20:26

Well I know this is drip feeding but it is quite recognisable, but the school "lost" my son for a couple of hours one morning (he is autistic) and I was never informed that teachers were running up and down the road looking for him thinking he had got out. Would dd have got back safely, most likely, but I had no confidence.

My children have been on holiday to the Middle East without me, I am about as laid back as they come as long as it "feels" right.

akaemmafrost · 01/02/2012 20:30

Also I have helped out at school, had to because of ds's autism before anyone accuses me of being one of "those" parents and I did notice a lot of small things just slipping by the way side. Eg at lunch time, Reception age kids not being able to eat hardly any of their lunch because they couldnt open the packaging, then it just all being chucked in the bin. A 4 year old little girl choking on fruit, luckily she cleared the obstruction before I got to her but no-one else noticed. Could just be that school I suppose, hope so anyway but they have just been voted the best school in the borough, which is worrying.