to question this woman at the nursery?

[CumberdickBendybatch]

Just dropped DS off at preschool. As I opened a door a woman I'd not seen before tried to walk past me into the building. We've been asked not to let people in without asking them who they are (reasonable request, but not a particularly easy thing to do in reality!)

I asked her if she was there to pick-up her child, she gave me a filthy look and said "I'm here to see ". She was obviously really offended but I don't think I did anything out of order? (Did I??)

I said "No need to look at me like that, I'm not just going to let a random stranger into my kids nursery" and walked to my car. She stood in the doorway giving me daggers as I left.

No I wish I'd not let her in at all - I did see the manager as I was leaving, so no issue there. Tempted to query it when I pick up DS though.

Maybe she was the owners daughter or the owner o the nursery YANBU though

I never said they did allow people to wander in and out during the day. If you wanted to get in, you knocked on the door and a member of staff would let you in. If there were two of you, the member of staff would let you both in! There was never any requirement to vet the other parents or shut doors in faces, because the staff were always there. I thought that was normal!

Oh fair enough. In DCs' nursery I'd be let in, then as I was coming through the door they'd go off and get DS, or a picture he'd painted or whatever. So I was the closest to the front door for a couple of mins. If I'd seen someone pulling up as I walked to the nursery it would ahve been natural for me to let them in when they appeared, but the request was that we allow them to ring the bell and be greeted by a staff member. It was no problem.

Mrs Wuh, I think you're making a hell of a lot of assumptions about our nursery

No, it's NOT bloody normal to let people wander into a nursery/business/hospital ward when the staff haven't buzzed them in. Every place i have worked that wasn't a customer facing business had secure doors and it was absolutely standard procedure to have to question people you didn't recognise. There are very good reasons for this. It's nothing to do with attitude to society, it's basic bloody common sense, and it's not a recent thing either.

" There was never any requirement to vet the other parents or shut doors in faces, because the staff were always there. I thought that was normal!"

There wasn't anybody on reception when I left. They are short staffed at the moment (one of the staff has unexpectedly gone on maternity leave due to a prem delivery). When some of the staff are doing the school run, all other members of staff are in the rooms looking after the children.

Is that enough bloody information for you?

There is nothing wrong with a large nursery with multiple rooms - it allows them to split the children into age appropriate rooms. While they have over 100 children they aren't all there at the same time because they do different sessions. and just because it is commercial doesn't mean it is a lesser place either.

So is it the receptionist who is on maternity leave? How did you get in then?

OK, I'm being facetious now. I think we've established that the type of nursery you put your child into is not a set-up that I'm familiar with or would be particularly happy with. I don't need to make assumptions - I'm going by what you've told me. You're the one who said, "What if someone leaves the door open?" and implied it would be possible for a child to wander out. Then you conceded that, actually, they don't let children wander near the door, so your original point was... well, pointless.

You've also just stated that there was nobody on reception when you left, but in your original post you said you saw the manager as you were leaving. So which was it?

I think there is a difference between questioning people you don't recognise in an office where you work (and even then, presumably you would say, "May I help you?" rather than accusing them of anything or ranting about 'random srangers'), and in a place that you are effectively just visiting. Your original post just suggests that you were pretty aggressive and rude to this lady, and I don't think it's at all surprising that you put her back up in the circumstances. Maybe you could just try to be a little more tactful about it next time?

The manager came back in as I was leaving, ok?

She was rude to me by giving me a filthy look. I told her why is questioned her.

"You're the one who said, "What if someone leaves the door open?" and implied it would be possible for a child to wander out. Then you conceded that, actually, they don't let children wander near the door, so your original point was... well, pointless. "

..missed this bit.

No - of course they don't let children wander near the door. That was more of a 'what if' scenario.

Stop picking my posts apart - it's obvious what I'm trying to say.

MrsWuh - I'm genuinely surprised that you haven't come across any kind of childcare provision that doesn't ask parents to be watchful about letting in people they don't know.

Lots of nurseries have more than one door and they can't all be manned so some other kind of measures are necessary. Ime the risks aren't about children getting out as I do think most places will have door handles and locks that children can't reach and its not really about child abuse as the risk is tiny.

To me the real risks come from absent parents/family members who aren't allowed contact with a child and more mundane but maybe more likely theft or damage. A childcare setting is also a workplace for staff and they deserve to be secure as well.

I've worked in more than one office where handbags and wallets were stolen by "random stangers" that staff let into unmanned but locked entrances and its not pleasant at all.

No, I guess I just live in a nicer place than you do. If your nursery has over 100 children, maybe there's your answer. My boys never went to pre-school or nursery with more than 22 children altogether, and there was only ever one room where all the children were together all the time. I suppose if I'd put them in a bigger, more commercial enterprise, I might have been more paranoid too.

Guys what's you clearly failed to realise it that MrsWuh obviously lives in a much better area than anyone else on the thread and her children would never have attended such sub-class nurseries as the ones you all seem to put your kids in . She's a higher class of person and in her part of the world they have no need for security measures at nurseries .

Well, you're mostly right there. But they do have security measures in my part of the world - it's just that the nurseries implement them rather than apparently abandoning the entrances and expecting parents to do all the work. Heavens, the staff even used to escort us off the premises and lock the doors after us, instead of buzzing us in and then leaving us to our own devices! The very idea!

Where are you then MrsWuh?

Buckingham Palace - where are you?!

Hahahaaa

Come on MrsWuh, own up....my guess is a vair nice little village in the Home Counties!

Well, we have a little weekend place in Windsor as well, don't you know...