Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

to question this woman at the nursery?

67 replies

CumberdickBendybatch · 31/01/2012 09:56

Just dropped DS off at preschool. As I opened a door a woman I'd not seen before tried to walk past me into the building. We've been asked not to let people in without asking them who they are (reasonable request, but not a particularly easy thing to do in reality!)

I asked her if she was there to pick-up her child, she gave me a filthy look and said "I'm here to see ". She was obviously really offended but I don't think I did anything out of order? (Did I??)

I said "No need to look at me like that, I'm not just going to let a random stranger into my kids nursery" and walked to my car. She stood in the doorway giving me daggers as I left.

No I wish I'd not let her in at all - I did see the manager as I was leaving, so no issue there. Tempted to query it when I pick up DS though.

OP posts:

Chynah · 31/01/2012 23:01

I have a "swipe" entry for my nursery which a lot of parents don't (only because the system is rubbish not cos I'm special) I wont let any others in behind me though unless they are parents or staff I know - very embarasing but my 2 childrens (and others) safety is at stake.

Bewilderedmum · 31/01/2012 23:14

Actually, I pmsl the other day - we had a newsletter sent round from ds2's junior school saying -

"We had an incident in the playground last week, that some of our children may have discussed with you. One of the governors entered the playground unnanounced and incognito at lunchtime and talked to the children -to check out the security, and to see how we responded. Unfortunately, he did not inform us of his intentions prior to this, and this was not planned - however, he was immediately approached by three members of staff and the caretaker.. Although unplanned, It was a useful exercise, and demonstrated our commitment to security..

By all accounts, he climbed over a gate to get in, tried to chat to the children, and narrowly missed being tackled to the floor :o

Ds2 was dead impressed!

sorry - as you were....

Original poster

CumberdickBendybatch · 31/01/2012 23:22

Bewilderedmum

OP posts:

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 01/02/2012 00:37

I think you did the right thing in challenging her, OP.

zipzap · 01/02/2012 00:51

We have a fingerprint recognition system to get into our nursery - and even if somebody is coming out as you are about to go in or you arrive at the same time as somebody else (even if it is someone you know really well!) EVERYBODY shuts the door behind themselves and everybody lets themself in. Means the system acts as a check on children in and out of the building. Usually all done very cheerfully and jolly about 'my turn to shut you out' or 'you just shut me out' or or 'it still feels strange shutting the door in your face' or even just a grin.

If anybody didn't react like that they would be the people I would be most worried about trying to get in - especially if they did tailgate in while the door was open. If that was the case I would be straight back in and talking to the nearest member of staff tbh...

missingmumxox · 01/02/2012 01:17

zipzap we had that in the USA plus a pin, I could never get my hand right on the pad they normally had to get a swat team in, before I could pick up DT's.
but it did stop you from letting people in as YOU where logged and on cctv so if a mistake was make they had you.
in the dt nursery in the UK we happily let doors shut in peoples faces, until you knew the parent, so then you didn't it was easier as it was a work place one, I went back 3 years later to ask about the holiday club and was let in by some obv's newbie mum, I was met by a posse of Nursery nurses ninja fighters!!! wtf! I forgot they might be letting someone in, but they watched the cameras, and saw who was in and out...
I perfered the UK method, more polite once you knew people and less james bond! I mean finger prints AND pin number!! what the local paedo will cut off you hand???

TheMonster · 01/02/2012 06:22

BewilderedMum

breatheslowly · 01/02/2012 09:43

We have fingerprint entry at DD's nursery and it can get a bit hectic at drop off and pick up waiting for the door to close between parents. If you don't touch in you can't get out again. It is really important to me that the nursery is secure as DD (16 months) would happily go with anyone. When we take her for a walk she regularly attempts to adopt a new family. I think she may be trying to tell us something .

MrsWuh · 01/02/2012 09:44

I'M over-reacting?! Holy moly, I knew people were paranoid these days, but this just takes the biscuit! I guess I must have just been very lucky - it seems that the few different pre-schools / nurseries my children went to were relatively unusual in actually looking after the children in their care, instead of abandoning them to any old stranger who walks through the door!

Out of interest, what do you do when you take your children to a soft play centre? Do you stand at the gate, glowering at everyone who comes in and asking them for a copy of their CRB check before you will let them in?!

StealthPolarBear · 01/02/2012 09:48

No, but you trust that people will take a basic level of common sense and care and shut the damn gate behind them.

StealthPolarBear · 01/02/2012 09:49

It's about all having a bassic level of common sense and trust in each other and not expecting the management of the nursery to have tyo nanny us all like children. My DCs' nursery was responsible for their care. One of the ways it ensured this was by making it clear to all parents that they were not to let anyone in behind them. Basic common sense. Not hard.

StealthPolarBear · 01/02/2012 09:50

But if you prefer to abdicate all responsibility to the nursery management and then no doubt sue when things go wrong, that's up to you.

MrsWuh · 01/02/2012 09:52

And your nursery gives the children free access to external doors which can be left open, and would allow the children to walk out without anyone noticing? Bl**dy Hell, no wonder you're paranoid. Put your child somewhere safer, woman!

PocPoc · 01/02/2012 09:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

CumberdickBendybatch · 01/02/2012 10:05

No, they don't let children wander near the door

It's an extra safety measure, that's all. A very basic, obvious, normal safety procedure.

They also have it where I work (totally normally office building) and at all the hospitals I've ever been to.

Because its a normal thing to do.

OP posts:

Original poster

CumberdickBendybatch · 01/02/2012 10:08

On a totally unrelated note - are we being invaded at the moment? :)

OP posts:

MrsWuh · 01/02/2012 10:12

Well where I live it's normal to hold the door open for other people, to smile at each other and have a bit of faith. I have never yet come across an office, hospital or pre-school where it is considered "normal" to shut the door in someone's face, or to start questioning their motives for being there, or to harangue them for being a "random stranger". I guess that just about sums up modern society, doesn't it?

breatheslowly · 01/02/2012 10:17

MrsWuh - nurseries are busy places at pick up and drop off with staff involved in handovers to parents and with multiple rooms and over 100 children on roll there is a chance that staff won't recognise all parents. While I would completely trust the staff not to let DD wonder off with a stranger, having an added layer of security, particularly with pre-verbal children is great for piece of mind. My DD is too young to go on any soft play other than the well enclosed under 2 bits on her own and when we are there we have a 1:1 ratio. My DD is very friendly and a lovely girl so would be both easy to take and very desirable to steal (obviously everyone thinks this of their own child). Having her was bloody hard work and she isn't replacable. Is it really too much to ask that other parents follow the nursery guidance on security?

breatheslowly · 01/02/2012 10:19

The offices I have worked in also have this approach - if you can't see someone's ID you don't let them in behind you. MrsWuh do you live in the 1950s?

Pixieonthemoor · 01/02/2012 10:21

I think we now all know who the dagger-eyed interloper was, don't we?! It was YOU Mrs Wuh wasn't it?!

Anyway, no OP you were totally not BU to ask this woman and if she couldn't see why and react graciously then frankly even more reason not to allow her on the premises.

MrsWuh · 01/02/2012 10:28

No, I guess I just live in a nicer place than you do.

If your nursery has over 100 children, maybe there's your answer. My boys never went to pre-school or nursery with more than 22 children altogether, and there was only ever one room where all the children were together all the time. I suppose if I'd put them in a bigger, more commercial enterprise, I might have been more paranoid too.

It's still sad though.

Beamur · 01/02/2012 10:31

YANBU.
DD's nursery also asked parents to ensure they were not 'tail gated' through the main door. You had to press a buzzer, say who you were and who you were collecting/delivering and were then let in.

It is a pretty basic security measure in any decent nursery. People are coming and going at random times to drop off and collect.
School is slightly different in that all parents/carers drop off and collect at the same time, so the doors are open, but it will all be locked down (or should be) during school time.

StealthPolarBear · 01/02/2012 10:32

Yes, offices the same IME. It's not even about a child killer or abuser which I agree are statistically very very unlikely. Petty theft (from offices), parental disputes at nurseries etc. Where I used to work the chief exec got challenged for not wearing his photo ID. The person who did it was but was praised.

StealthPolarBear · 01/02/2012 10:33

MrsWuh, did your nursery really allow people to wander in and out during the day? I think that's unlikely.

Beamur · 01/02/2012 10:36

My office is the same, swipe cards on all doors, even toilets, general public has access to the building and there are hundreds of people coming and going. Theft was the big problem. But occasionally it is to minimise danger from disgruntled types - also problems I would imagine for nurseries.

Flip

1 2 3