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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that DH has NO say in which alarm clock I use?

46 replies

ChasTittyBeltUp · 31/01/2012 00:10

I really struggle to wake in the mornings.. work at home in the evenings and am usually very tired. I set the landline phone for 7.10am and is DOES take a while for it to rouse me but it works better than anything else.

DH has taken to turning it off immediatley because he htes the noise...he then tries to wake me, fails and falls back asleep which results me waking at 8.00am...in a massive rush to get DDs ready.

DH just came in and said "Dont set that alarm...I have 2 mobiles and I will set these..I can't stand the noise of your alarm"

I told him he couldn't tell me what clock to use and I would use which one I wanted. I also told him to leave my clock alone and stop turning it off as it makes me late.

He does not have to get up for work...he works part tme evenings but is off with an injury until next week. I get the DC ready and he takes them...that works well. BUt who s right? AIBU to say leave my clock alone and I get the say?

His phones do not wake me and he has them by his side meaning he turns them off and then gives me a shove...fails to rouse me nd goes back to sleep leaving me snoring! I can't help the way I am... have always been a very heavy sleeper.

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Original poster
ChasTittyBeltUp · 31/01/2012 00:10

sorry for spelling etc. Angry and tired.

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jade80 · 31/01/2012 00:12

While he's off, why not sleep in a bit longer and let him get them ready as well as take them?

Lueji · 31/01/2012 00:20

What jade said.

Or he gets them ready and you take them to school.

PS - are you my DS's mother?

mumblechum1 · 31/01/2012 00:23

We have the same debate in our house as DH is the Princess and the Pea. He can't even bear the ticking of an alarm, so he has his iphone on a very very quiet birdsong app which barely wakes him up.

I've trained myself to wake up on the dot at 7.30 every morning, weirdly. Even at weekends, but then I just go back to sleep.

mumblechum1 · 31/01/2012 00:24

I'm jealous of your being a heavy sleeper. I wake up 5 or 6 times a night Sad

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 31/01/2012 00:25

I think that if you are sharing a room and a bed that you both have to be happy with the alarm situation, but clearly what you are doing atm isn't working.

If you are working late and he isn't working, why isn't he getting up and sorting the DCs and letting you get some extra sleep?

mumblechum1 · 31/01/2012 00:27

Have replied to your PM.

Off to bed now Smile

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 31/01/2012 00:28

Ah brilliant - thanks! I will look in the morning, in bed now Smile

Salmotrutta · 31/01/2012 00:29

Oooh, can I be the first to say it? :

Leave the bastard ... Grin

Seriously, though - if your alarm works for you then keep using it.

And let him get the kids up and take them to school.

Original poster
ChasTittyBeltUp · 31/01/2012 00:40

I just went for a word before checking responses and said to him "f you get up first, put the coffee on, make the frigging redybrek and feed the bastard cats before shouting me then it will all be fine!"

He was a bit Shock as he obviouslt thought that his taking the kids was enough.

I dont mind getting them ready at all..I couldnt lie in bed while they got ready...I quite like it. But that first coffee and cat food run...bleugh.

He's agreed to "try it" lazy bastard.

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Original poster
ChasTittyBeltUp · 31/01/2012 00:42

I love sleeping Mumble...it's gorgeous and I am very good at it. He on the other hand is crap at it. Not my problem!

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attheendoftheday · 31/01/2012 00:44

Umm, you're both being a bit U, could you not compromise? Maybe a new mutuably agreeable clock? Or you use his phone but keep it besides you? It could be on your side but just out of reach if it would help you get up.

Whem I'm working an early shift I stick my alarm clock under my pillow so it vibrates my head but muffles the sound for dp.

Original poster
ChasTittyBeltUp · 31/01/2012 00:47

His phone is piddly...the noise is like mice whispering in their quietes voices.

If we go for the new clock...how will we know what will wake me and what he wont find hateful?

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springydaffs · 31/01/2012 00:55

I'm with him here - sorry. Find another system that works for you both.

youngermother1 · 31/01/2012 01:12

You can get vibrating alarms for the deaf - pad under the pillow, vibrates to wake you - may help

Original poster
ChasTittyBeltUp · 31/01/2012 01:17

Gosh. youngermother I never once connected this with the fact that my hearing has been deteriorating for a few years. Blush Neither did DH.
No wonder I'm a heavy sleeper. Sad

I've always been a tad "deaf" in one ear but lately I have noticed that I have to say "Sorry can you repeat that please?" a LOT to shopkeepers etc.

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DaenerysTargaryenButCallMeDany · 31/01/2012 01:17

dp likes to set loud alarms but he now runs the tone by me because i can't stand loud or shrill ones, if i was your dp i would be super pissed off at you letting the alarm ring for so long tbh but I'd also make sure you were fully awake before going back to sleep myself so yabothbu.

DaenerysTargaryenButCallMeDany · 31/01/2012 01:18

vibrations don't wake me up btw and I'm a light sleeper

Original poster
ChasTittyBeltUp · 31/01/2012 11:32

I slept in today Daenerys did you not read the whole thread? I am hard of hearing...

DH slept on the sofa after we rowed and I set my alarm...woke up at 9.

DH heard my alarmm from downstairs and never checked I was up as he heard what he thought was me but was probably one of the cats.

Got DD to school half an hour late.

I have ordered a strong vibrating alarm for under pillow...made for the hard of hearing.

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dreamingbohemian · 31/01/2012 11:47

'I love sleeping Mumble...it's gorgeous and I am very good at it. He on the other hand is crap at it. Not my problem!'

I think that's a bit unfair actually. By that logic, it's not his problem that you have a hard time waking up.

I hope the new alarm works for you, I definitely think that with all things sleep-related you have to compromise.

duckdodgers · 31/01/2012 11:54

Im jealous of anyone who can sleep till 8am in the morning without waking, Im a frequent waker during the night to.

Im with the compromise option - you do seem a bit "how dare he" attitude but a relationships is a partnership and both partners should be considerate of the others needs when it comes down to it, especially regarding sleeping arrangements.

Kladdkaka · 31/01/2012 11:54

My husband used to have an awful alarm clock that I insisted he change. The problem was that the sound of it woke me up instantly, from fast asleep to wide awake in a nano-second. This might not seem a big deal but it resulted in my startle response being on overdrive all day. Any unexpected movement or sound and I'd jump out of my skin. After a few months I was a complete nervous wreck.

tardisjumper · 31/01/2012 12:08

My dp takes forever to wake up and it really annoys me when he sets it early and keeps on setting snooze to be honest.

Original poster
ChasTittyBeltUp · 31/01/2012 12:12

Well yes duck it WAS a selfish thought...I was so tired though and still thn that snce DH wakes up like a bloody bomb going off, he should be making more effort to get us all up.

He hasn't got to BE anywhere...DO anything...I have work....and yet the responsibility for waking DDs and getting them up on time is all on me!

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Original poster
ChasTittyBeltUp · 31/01/2012 12:14

Luckily, a lovely parent from school picked DD up and whizzed her in much faster than we could have managed...they were coming back from their chool run and did us a fvour. SO kind. She was only a little bt late. It will NOT be happening again! I am cross with myself as well as DH.

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