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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that DH has NO say in which alarm clock I use?

46 replies

ChasTittyBeltUp · 31/01/2012 00:10

I really struggle to wake in the mornings.. work at home in the evenings and am usually very tired. I set the landline phone for 7.10am and is DOES take a while for it to rouse me but it works better than anything else.

DH has taken to turning it off immediatley because he htes the noise...he then tries to wake me, fails and falls back asleep which results me waking at 8.00am...in a massive rush to get DDs ready.

DH just came in and said "Dont set that alarm...I have 2 mobiles and I will set these..I can't stand the noise of your alarm"

I told him he couldn't tell me what clock to use and I would use which one I wanted. I also told him to leave my clock alone and stop turning it off as it makes me late.

He does not have to get up for work...he works part tme evenings but is off with an injury until next week. I get the DC ready and he takes them...that works well. BUt who s right? AIBU to say leave my clock alone and I get the say?

His phones do not wake me and he has them by his side meaning he turns them off and then gives me a shove...fails to rouse me nd goes back to sleep leaving me snoring! I can't help the way I am... have always been a very heavy sleeper.

OP posts:

NinkyNonker · 31/01/2012 12:17

You have to find a compromise, it isn't all about you. I hated DH's alarm with a passion, so we worked through a few options so he now has one that doesn't make me want to scratch ny eyes out.

meditrina · 31/01/2012 12:17

You need to get your ears checked for wax, and I like the sound of a vibrating alarm clock.

He does have a say in what sort of alarm clock, as you need to find something that is OK for both of you. It's as much his bedroom as yours. Or do you mean to use this a wedge to get him to sleep separately?

dreamingbohemian · 31/01/2012 12:18

So what if he doesn't have to be anywhere right away? It's still rotten getting woken up in bad fashion, starting the day off on a bad foot.

If you want to come up with a fairer division of labour in the mornings, by all means address that -- but directly. Don't let any resentment lead you to having no consideration for his sleep.

meditrina · 31/01/2012 12:19

Oh, and it sounds like you could do with a couple of "days off" - you may be running a sleep debt, and finding time somewhere to catch up might ease everything for you.

ProfCoxWouldGetIt · 31/01/2012 12:21

I'm with your DP - it used to wind my up no end that DP would always set his alarm for before I needed to get up and then constantly snooze it for the 45 minutes it took for him to finally drag himself from bed.

I used to have to get up 30 minutes after his first alarm so while his stupid alarm was going off waking me up for a whole 30 minutes before he even registered it.

God that almost caused us breaking up, and it took a lot of very tense discussions before we sorted it out.

But a ringing phone would drive my to distraction unless you got up immediately and switched it off

mojitomania · 31/01/2012 12:28

I have to say that I hate loud alarms or certain noises. DP had one on his new phone that sounded like a monster truck horn - it was terrible (still havent got over the noise)

I'm also a total pain in the backside and have to tap the snooze button every 5 minutes for half hour before I get up but I don't like it if DP does it. My house though, my rules

What about one of these light sensor thingys, friend bought one for her DH and apparently it works a treat.

diddl · 31/01/2012 12:28

A ringing phone-can´t think of anything worse!

I do think though that if wants to use his alarms then he should make sure that you are awake before going back to sleep.

We have a teenage daughter...

Original poster

ChasTittyBeltUp · 31/01/2012 12:54

dreaming he's being a slefish bastard basically...that's "so what" he takes no responsibility and leaves waking up to me...then moans about the way I do it! He lost his right to moan when he failed to help...despite my working all night.

OP posts:

dreamingbohemian · 31/01/2012 13:01

So why not get him to get up and help?

Antagonising him with your alarm clock and being all 'not my problem' about it is playing games basically.

If you are both working in the evenings then you don't both have to be up in the morning, why can't you do alternate lie-ins? Tell him if he does his fair share you'll get a more agreeable wakeup option.

Original poster

ChasTittyBeltUp · 31/01/2012 16:23

He DOES NOT work at the moment Dreaming and had you read the thread properly you might have made more sensible comments. I work all night. HE sits and watched tv.

I have asked him to get up. He fails to. He can't be arsed.Why dont people READ THE THREAD before they judge ffs.

OP posts:

mayorquimby · 31/01/2012 16:28

"I also told him to leave my clock alone and stop turning it off as it makes me late."

You not getting up is what makes you late. Is he really meant to sit there while your alarm goes off and you sleep through it?

JerichoStarQuilt · 31/01/2012 16:36

Is it the type of noise or the volume he hates so much, though?

I think if someone you sleep with violently hates a particular alarm, you should try lots of other options to find one they can cope with. Particular pitches can be really awful IMO. So you might be able to find a good loud one that he wouldn't mind so much.

I agree that it seems a bit odd he wakes up easily but you do the stuff with the children in the morning - could you not do the night routine and have him do the mornings?

dreamingbohemian · 31/01/2012 16:45

I DID read the thread, thank you very much. You said:

'he works part tme evenings but is off with an injury until next week'

I understand he is not working at this moment but he does work normally, right?

So starting next week when you said he will be working again you will need to find a solution to this problem, hence my suggestion that you alternate mornings and find some compromises for everything.

CelticPromise · 31/01/2012 16:51

In answer to the original question, YABU I think. DH gets up earlier than me and I had to get him to change his alarm before I beat him to death with it. I agree you need to try some different sounds and find one that suits you both.

Or get him to do the morning routine since you have to work at night.

theDevilHasTheBestMNNames · 31/01/2012 16:57

Try a light clock if hearing is an issue?

light alarm clock

canyou · 31/01/2012 17:08

I would hate t be woken by a ph ring but that I will admit to maybe being due to the fact that we were the emergency contact for an elderly relative with a panic alarm,
I have a light alarm clock and it is great it means when the alarm goes off I am in a light sleep or awake.

UnimaginitiveDadThemedUsername · 31/01/2012 17:25

YABU. If you share a bedroom then the two of you have to find a compromise.

GirlWithPointyShoes · 31/01/2012 17:36

Buy one of these

fuzzypicklehead · 31/01/2012 17:36

Maybe one of these

toddlerama · 31/01/2012 17:59

I am a really heavy sleeper and have quite poor hearing a lot of the time. The light clock has made such a huge difference. It wakes me up slowly and because it's next to my face it wakes me up first. It does start making birdy noises after a while, but doesn't usually get that far before I'm up. Honestly, try one. I was the worst morning person I know.

deaconblue · 31/01/2012 18:03

Dh's alarm clock is so loud it makes my heart pound when it goes off. It is banned. I don't think that's unreasonable

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