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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you would define the purpose of your life?

62 replies

HoneyandHaycorns · 31/01/2012 00:06

Well, just that really.

I am feeling slightly rudderless at the moment, and not quite sure what I want from life. So I just wondered what other people think it's all about? And if most people actually have a sense of purpose, or if they just drift along and go with the flow.

OP posts:
happyAvocado · 31/01/2012 00:22

I think is the usual for me - to make sure my kids grow up in a happy environment, so that the fact that their parents split up doesn't affect them too much in further choices they are making in their life.

I am also seeing more and more that my sense of morals keep me going through hard times so that I can look at myself in the mirror (if I can be bothered :) )

It isn't my call in life to make other people change but through my life I had many people telling me that I have helped them to change their life - it was usually by supporting them in their choices. So maybe that is my purpose in life :)

LizzieChickens · 31/01/2012 00:23

I have some mid-term goals at the moment (finish university, achieve various goals in my jobs, etc.) and then there's longer term ones (get married to my partner, have kids, get on a postgrad course), but that's just me. I like having goals and things to aim for. It makes me feel secure and energised to have something I can work towards.

Other people drift, they don't make plans, they don't worry about this kind of stuff. They seem pretty happy too. I think it just depends on what makes you happy.

TheFarSide · 31/01/2012 00:26

Approaching 50, my purpose is to enjoy as much as possible what time I've got left and to leave whatever money I don't spend to third world charities when I die.

OldMacEIEIO · 31/01/2012 00:35

maximise the amount of happiness in the world. and realise that the maximum impact on happiness is on those closest to you. and that includes you.

MitchieInge · 31/01/2012 00:36

I just zigzag from one obsession to another and enjoy them while they last. Lucky that I can get so insanely enthusiastic about the most banal interests.

At the moment it is weight lifting so obviously that is actual weight lifting but also reading about it, its history, looking at representations of female strength and athleticism from classical times to now - I love those carnival posters of strong women lifting barbells for example.

It was land rovers for ages. I sometimes treat myself to some porn (land rover monthly) and fantasize about buying another one and whether I would lift it a little and what sort of winch mounting I'd have on the bumper etc

Do you ever get obsessed with anything? Any social issues that impassion?

StateofConfusion · 31/01/2012 00:38

After living a rather chaotic life for sometime my purpose throughout it all has been to protect, nurture and love my children, and raise them to be happy, healthy and more importantly, nothing like me or dp. I hope to help them and others learn from our mistakes.

TheFarSide · 31/01/2012 00:42

Actually, OP, it's a very good question. Up to age 40 I had plans and goals for the future, then in my mid-40s I realised I'd achieved most of my goals and suddenly I just lost all my momentum. I think that was my mid-life crisis.

Original poster
HoneyandHaycorns · 31/01/2012 00:49

Hmm, lots to think about. I will come back to these tomorrow and re- read them when I am a bit less tired.

I used to feel that I was making a positive difference to other people's lives through my work. I no longer feel that in my current job - I guess I sold out because there were bills that had to be paid.

Obviously dd is hugely important to me. In many ways, I think I am too focused on her, as she is the main source of meaning in my life now. Then I get scared that I would have nothing left if something were to happen to her. Is that normal?

I used to get quite obsessed with stuff, mitchie, but not so much these days. There are issues which cause me concern, but I don't feel passionate about them. I would like to have a passion for something.

OP posts:
PuffPants · 31/01/2012 00:51

Honestly don't know. Wish I did, have also been thinking about this myself recently. Somehow raising my child doesn't feel enough. Trouble is, I'm so bloody in love with him I can't tear myself away for even a minute to go and do anything else more purposeful.

Used to think I'd leave my mark on the world, not sure now.

Original poster
HoneyandHaycorns · 31/01/2012 00:53

theFarSide, I think that's what has happened to me. I have achieved a lot of the goals that I identified when I was younger, and now i guess I'm wondering what's next.

I guess it is a midlife crisis of sorts. I hit the big 40 next year.

OP posts:
Original poster
HoneyandHaycorns · 31/01/2012 00:55

puffpants I thought I'd leave my mark on the world too. I know a few people who would say I've done that already, but not in the way that I thought. I want more.

OP posts:
foglike · 31/01/2012 01:01

It's true when they say that if you smile the world smiles with you.

Everyone responds to a smile and it does make your day when you see a genuine one.

^

TheVeryEnd · 31/01/2012 01:41

New name, I'm not new here.

My life has no purpose and no point. I feel like I'm marking off days until my kids are adults and don't need me to do things for them any more.

MitchieInge · 31/01/2012 01:56

:( that is very sad

has it felt that way for a while? can you remember a time when it didn't?

TheVeryEnd · 31/01/2012 02:07

Not really. I thought I had a handle on it for a while, but I've always been depressed. I've tried many different ADs and counselling and nothing has done much.

I'm a 35 year old single mum with no family, no friends, no job, no life, no clothes that fit, my 11 and 13 year old share a bedroom, my life is pretty much nothing and it's only going to get worse. I can't even afford to keep my mobile.

TheVeryEnd · 31/01/2012 02:14

Sorry, ignore me. It doesn't matter.

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 31/01/2012 02:21

Perpetually wrangling various varieties of shit!

Dolcelatte · 31/01/2012 07:08

Be grateful, be happy, be kind.

molly3478 · 31/01/2012 07:17

To have my children and bring them up and share in all their moments.

To work in my job and make a difference to children who have been abused/mistreated/suffering as well as provide the best experiences I can for the other children that are at my setting who havent (luckily) had such bad experiences, unfortunately there are many that have.

Awayinamangercooper · 31/01/2012 07:29

Theveryend is this something you have talked about on MN before? It's a good place to get things off your chest.

Original poster
HoneyandHaycorns · 31/01/2012 07:37

theVeryEnd, I'm so sorry you feel like that. :(

OP posts:
Deafworm · 31/01/2012 07:52

I'm currently working through my degree and raising 3 soon to be 4 children. My major aim is for my family (and that includes me) to be happy and confident. I can't wait to see my girls turn into grown ups. Once the degree is finished I'm aiming to do a PGCE and teach as my youngest starts school.

I've achieved a major aim that's been a bee in my bonnet for 4 years in the last week, and I'm still over the moon with that

Original poster
HoneyandHaycorns · 31/01/2012 07:56

Congratulations deafworm - that's wonderful! :)

OP posts:
StrandedBear · 31/01/2012 07:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Amaris · 31/01/2012 08:03

I don't think I have any real career ambitions, other than to be able to hold my head up and know I've done a good job and worked hard to be worth my pay and to make other people's working lives happier.

To bring my daughter up to be healthy and happy and to guide her into making choices that are good for her.

To spend as much time with my parents as possible as they are getting older and frailer (I have just moved to be with them)

To do things that make me happy and therefore be better able to do things to make other people happy.

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