Did schools used to be like this?

[spiderslegs]

DS started school FT in January & ever since it's been a constant stream of missives, announcements, edicts & raised brow questioning from his teacher.

The first week he was there I had a constant battle with his teacher because I was sending him to school with a padded body warmer on, not a coat, every day she asked me if he 'has a coat, because we play out every day, even when it's drizzling' & yes, you do, but not WHEN IT'S PISSING DOWN. In which case his arms will get slightly damp, as will his legs & face, how would you like me to mitigate against that, full dry suit & mask?

It was warmish & sunny, biblical floods were not on the horizon .

Consequently, EVERY CHUFFING DAY it's been something, last week was battle of the drinks, they have a school issued water bottle (irritating in itself) which I sometimes put in, he has milk at break & a drink for lunch, I was taken aside twice for not giving him a drink - I had he just didn't arsing drink it, maybe they should have asked him to look in his bag again?

Would you like me to pop in a few times a day to ensure he has fulfilled his government recommended level of fluid intake - WOULD YOU?

On Friday the lovely mum that drops him off sheepishly told me teacher asked her to mention she did NOT LIKE HIS SHOES, they are difficult to do up apparently - I'm sorry, I'll get him some M&S footgloves shall I?

Today's final straw was the letter from the eco-co-ordinator that asked me to reduce waste in his lunch box & that they would be speaking to the children about waste in their lunches THEN COLLECTING & COMPARING THAT WASTE - so you'd like to make my son feel like a miscreant & social pariah because he has a Baby-bel rather than a dried up hunk of cheddar planed from a block would you???

So AIBU to want to run through the school screaming - 'I AM A FREE BORN HUMAN BEING - MY CHILDREN ARE FREE BORN HUMAN BEINGS - I WOULD LIKE YOU TO TEACH THEM MATHS, & READING & SPELLING BUT LEAVE THE REST OF IT TO ME PLEASE'

Am I ?

Surely a formal inquiry would be if concerns were raised. It is already known that abusive parents sometimes remove dcs from school ostensibly to home educate, but really to hide abuse. If there were already concerns about abuse e.g. suspicious injuries, sexualised behaviour inappropriate for age, etc, then a parent saying they are HE would probably lead to a formal enquiry by SS.

But obviously that is not an issue here.

Sorry OP, you sound like a nightmare to me. I think schools are AMAZING compared to when I was in school.

Are you one of those people who take against "rules" for the sake of it? I agree that some rules and regulations are ridiculous, especially at DD's school, so I am taking positive steps to change them or at least try to influence a change by becoming more proactively involved in the running of the school.

In this case I think the letters from school are minor things to worry about and would save my efforts for battles worth fighting. I would just chalk it up to experience and accept that when your child is in a group of people it is far easier to comply. I'm afraid a pp is right that this will mark your card as a troublesome parent. I have a friend who always made a big issue of really trivial little things and when she took her child out of school to home educate the governors heaved a sigh of relief.

Unfortunately, spiderslegs, Orwell was not writing fiction, although he thought he was.

Olgaga: If you don't satisfy that, particularly against a background of you taking your child out of school for the absurd reasons you have given, it may lead to a school attendance order.

Sorry to contradict but parents are always responsible for their child's education and no-one has the legal authority to evaluate their reasons for home-educating (or sending to a particular school). Under s437 of the Education Act 1996, an LA can only issue an SAO if they have reason to believe that the child is not being educated in accordance with s7 of the Education Act 1996 and the parents have not satisfied the LA that they are providing such an education. A legal defence against an SAO is that the parents are providing such an education.

Can anyone defending all this mollycoddling by primary schools re. coats, shoes & water explain to me, as a teacher of students aged 11-18, how they are being prepared for the sudden shock of Year 7, when they CANNOT swig water around computers or in some classrooms, HAVE to wait an hour or - GASP, two, for a chance to go to the toilet, discover that they have to LUG AROUND their outdoor clothes, along with all their other requirements all day long? As for environmental awareness and waste reduction, I can assure you that there is a dramatic decrease in lunchbox waste production when they are allowed to spend their lunch time and money as they see fit, eg one Mars bar, with no discernable impact on their youthful complexions. Strangely, they learn to survive fairly rapidly, usually by the second term of Year 7 at which time they clearly enjoy their new-found independence, having escaped this excessive interference with every aspect of their lives.

Fairly obviously, rickets will continue its resurgence while children are swathed in ridiculous hats with neck covers, Factor 40 suncream etc.

How on earth did everyone survive before schools decided that it was their role to interfere in every aspect of a child's life?

Right, got stuff to do, much as I would like to lie around in bed all day eating custard creams & being mildly indignant (nay, troublesome & nightmarish) it's not going to get the washing done.

Glad to see there are some voices of sanity & reason out there - stick it to the man.

I work with year 2 children and I must say it is so frustrating when kids come to school wearing shoes with laces if they don't know how to tie them, I seem to spend the majority of my day fixing shoes and it is even worse on PE days.

Also totally understand the water bottle we have quite a hot classroom and have one girl who cries everyday because she is hot and feeling unwell and we encourage the children to have a drink but although we have given this girl's parents water bottles free of charge they still don't send it with her, I understand yours did have a drink but it's maybe worthwhile speaking with the teacher so you and your child understands the rules as to where they go in class so your child can find it easily.

And I do think a coat is sensible in school even a spare one to be kept there if you still want him to go in the body warmer as sometimes it might be nice in the morning but really cold/wet later on.

I know it seems the teacher is being tough but the distruption to classes from what seems like small things can be big, we definately don't enjoy pointing these things out to the parents but surely you need to work with each other not against?

spiderslegs I have to admit, last night I chalked your posts up to that extra glass of wine

This morning, you are still ranting without a cause.

I think there is much more to this than is apparent in your thread.

You need to talk with friends IRL IMO :)

It's also worth pointing out that if your DC has just started school, the teachers have as yet no idea what sort of parent you are. Unfortunately due to your inability (from the teacher's point of view) in his first week, to understand he needed a proper coat, you will have been chalked up as the parent that needs everything explaining to you - which has probably led to more teacher/parent conversations than might otherwise be the case.

Even if you moved to an independent school, you'd still be asked to provide velcro shoes for those small children not able to tie laces up - and tie them up quickly and properly. You might even be told which two or three styles you must choose between when you go shoe shopping. Coats will be compulsory and a specific type and make, sold by uniform suppliers you will learn to swear about under your breath.

I had to sew long ribbon LOOPS into every single item of clothing - both the extensive uniform and the whole PE kit for DD1, and luckily just the PE kit for DD2 to make things easier for both the children and the teacher to hang onto one peg. I provide named extra socks and knickers for accidents, I send socks when DD goes in tights and I know it's PE day. I scoured everywhere for the regulation white plimsoles for DD1 last year as she was not allowed black ones. I found two pairs of trainers - one indoor and one outdoor - and a flipping pair of astro shoes for her for this September.

I send water bottles in each week. I remember that on a Saturday (yes, she has lessons on a Sat), she needs to take her own snack in for break time and try and remember to send something she can share around.

I have to remember to take the cello in one day a week, the piano bag another, swimming she does twice a week and I have to wash the kit inbetween.

I turn up and cheer DD1 on at matches. I encourage her to do her times tables, her music practice. When her teacher signs her up for an informal school concert, I rearrange my entire working week to be able to attend.

Her house tutor doesn't like it when I'm late dropping her off, but she has to be at school at 8.15 and the traffic is vile. And she has a sibling who has issues with getting dressed on a morning.

Ah, and the little one! Who also started full time in January. Every single week, I have to send something in!!! This week it was old keys, old coins and something beginning with the letter 'O' for the sound table. And tomorrow, I am a parent helper for a class walk. Last week, it was pop up books, something square and things made of cardboard.

Oh, I had a lovely written reminder in the class newsletter to help the youngest put her own mittens and hat on and off herself. And so we spent an hour practicing the other day. It makes things easier for the teachers and TAs if the children can help do their own.

For the little one, we had to send in a handled, named, mug for snack time. And had to fill in an entire booklet of colouring and games before she started.

You have it easy at the moment imo - education is a joint venture between the schooling, the pastoral side and the home influence.

albertcamus I can defend the mollycoddlying as you call it in early primary school because at that age kids don't/can't do it all for themselves - the OP says her dc is 4.

I know at our school it starts out like this, but children are gradually encouraged to take responsibility for such things themselves, as they are in every aspect of there life inside and outside school - surely that's a normal part of growing up?

SDeuchars Yes, I know that.

I am simply pointing out that if you start out with no issues, you get left alone. If you mark yourself out from the beginning as having an attitude problem, uncooperative, unnecessarily argumentative over stupid things, or maybe pig ignorant, then you can expect unwanted attention. Which the OP has already begun to experience, having been taken aside by the teacher a couple of times.

That's why it's better to deal with the little stuff. It means you avoid getting a reputation as a tedious pain in the butt/someone with issues.

Of course, if people want to live their lives in a constant lather about "pettifogging rules" that's up to them. But they should be aware that they are usually making bigger problems for themselves in the long run, and doing their kids no favours in the process.

If you move to an independent school there will be far more rules!

I would save your battles for the serious stuff. You will already of got a reputation where they groan when they see you coming.

Best to HE and do it your way.

They would have put that kids needed an actual coat and shoes that they could manage themselves on the uniform list you got before he started. If you didn't bother to read it then it's your own fault. Do you really think it would be a good idea for him to sit in class all day with damp sleeves and undone shoes because you didn't think that his teacher wouldn't have time to faff with his clothes when she's supposed to be teaching?

"stick it to the man"... What a delightful example for your child.

Time you grew up OP.

Surely citing Orwell on a thread about your inability to dress your child appropriately for infant school has to be some kind of neo-Godwinning fallacy? Or is your child also tortured and told to report on your political dissent to his TA?

It is because of fuckers like that teacher that someone has seen fit to design full body waterproof play suits for kids. What the fuck was wrong with trousers turned into Wellington boots and a coat?! Now every Tom dick and Henrietta looks like a Guantanamo escapee.

I am building in rage here... Uh oh.

Ooh ooh as for babybel. Tell teacher you melt all the wax at Christmas for all the cheese wrapping to make candles for teachers. That will shut her the fuck up.

From

coraltoes Well done, you have illustrated my point perfectly.

coraltoes, you sound like a lovely, lovely person.

That's two people who won't be getting a babybel candle for Xmas.

Lol at 'stick it to the man' by sending him to private school - rock 'n' roll!

Alternatively, follow a few rules or teach him to tie his laces?

A local private school near me requires a straw boater in summer and a felt hat in winter.

Plenty to keep you busy with your one-woman rebellion in the independent sector OP - well worth the money on that basis alone!