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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to ask DH to get the stupid dog out of the house?!

47 replies

MischeviousMum · 30/01/2012 20:36

When we met he had 2 staffy/jack Russell crosses, outside dogs (we have a massive garden) that come in to sleep on a night.

His boss then gave him his 1 year old Doberman which also started as an outside dog. She was poorly over Christmas so we had her inside for 2 weeks. Now DH wants her in on an evening.

She drives me MAD! If 15 mth DS is still up she licks him all over, she bounds everywhere if she knocked DS over he would be flattened. She tries to pick him up by the scruff of his neck which DH thinks is cute. There are dog hairs EVERYWHERE and I am a clean freak. She's just been over to say hello to me and my cup of tea is full!
She barges into DS room when he's asleep and frightens the crap out of him.
DH justifies this as stupid dog checking on her puppy.

I've tried to compromise, she used to sit on the couch with us when she was poorly but now is in her basket on the floor.

She doesn't obey me in the slightest. I'm just fed up its me that has to clean all the dog hairs off the floor, mop the paw prints up, wipe the hairs off of DS toys bork

Can anyone advise of further compromise?!

I have posted this in the doghouse too.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 30/01/2012 20:41

Well I can advise training the dog rather than getting rid of it

Daughteroflilith · 30/01/2012 20:44

What is this business of "outside dogs"? You either have properly trained dogs kept as pets or you don't. It sounds as if the dog is desperate for attention and to be part of the family. What happens in zero temperatures? Do you still put the dogs outside? and as for complaining about hairs, you have a dog, FFGS.

Original poster
MischeviousMum · 30/01/2012 20:48

The dogs have a cushty life outside (please bear in mind this was already the set up when I met him) they have a shed filled with blankets and a heater that they can go in and out of as they please, they get walked before they come in on a night and sleep in a big fluffy warm bed. (theirs not ours!) I didn't see the point in having dogs for them to live outside but that's how it was before I arrived!

OP posts:
NinkyNonker · 30/01/2012 20:50

At one yr old the dog is still a puppy really. You need to train 'it', not just chuck it outdoors. Not all dogs are cut out for it, and you have a responsibility.

SensitivityChip · 30/01/2012 20:50

Sympathy! I hate my DH's dogs too.

HazleNutt · 30/01/2012 20:51

train the dog. How is she supposed to know how to behave around family and kids if she lives in the garden?

GlitterySkulls · 30/01/2012 20:55

sounds like the poor thing's just wanting affection & is going about it rather over-excitedly.

as others have said, try a trainer, 1 is still a puppy.

Pickgo · 30/01/2012 20:55

Let the dog stay in the kitchen or another room? Dogs are lovely if trained very well - if not they are a pita and not sure I'd trust an untrained one near a very small child.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 30/01/2012 21:00

Why did his boss give him the dog?
Present?
Was the boss looking to get rid of the doberman and your DH 'adopted' it
Was the dog badly/untrained when you got it, or has the behaviour got worse?

vess · 30/01/2012 21:01

It IS cute, though.

Original poster
MischeviousMum · 30/01/2012 21:08

Boss needed to get rid of her as she was play fighting with his other dog who had bad skin, DH bought her home as a surprise. I had always been bleating on about wanting an indoor dog but with the outside dogs being 9 and 7 they'd never been trained so I wanted a tiny little dog that I could train from a puppy. He then arrived home with blinking massive Doberman! I have asked him to take her to training but he has very little spare time, but if he could find a trainer that fits in with his free time we would both go. Essentially she's a loving and fairly well behaved dog for the most part from the little training we've given her, and I'm super nervous having her round DS, DH is too trusting. He let her out for a wee when our chickens were roaming and she went for them even though he said cause she knew they were our pets she wouldn't. Hmm

I'm not trying to get rid of her or kick her back into the garden full time, i was asking for advice to see if I'd missed an obvious compromise,

I feel inclined to ask him that she not come in the house till DS has gone to bed but will that then cause more problems when the two come across each other in the future?

OP posts:
Original poster
MischeviousMum · 30/01/2012 21:11

Her treating DS as her puppy is kinda cute but like I said her trying to pick him up by scruff of the neck will only end in tears! Also if she carries on being allowed to do that with him then if she's in and he cries and I go to him she may go for me, protecting him?

OP posts:
Fireandashes · 30/01/2012 21:26

Does it have to be DH who takes her to training classes? If you found a class that fitted in with your free time, perhaps it might help you and her 'bond' and give her more respect for you too.

She urgently needs consistent and knowledgeable training to establish some ground rules and boundaries (i.e. NOT treating DS like a puppy), or else re-homing to a knowledgeable home. At her age she's currently going through the 'Kevin the teenager' stage which will make her even more inattentive, stubborn and unpredictable.

If you are dedicated to keeping her, then please don't underestimate the amount of time and effort it will take from both you and DH to turn her into a civilised member of canine society, but hopefully you will all - including DS - reap the benefits of having a well-trained family pet for years to come.

breatheslowly · 30/01/2012 21:27

I'd be worried that your DS would object to being treated like this and piss the dog off enough to nip (isn't that what they do to puppies that are out of line). I'd definitely be asking DH to get rid of the dog - I think it was the wrong time and wrong type of dog for you and I don't think it is wrong to put a dog up for rehoming if you got it passed on from someone else who wanted it rehomed and it was a poorly thought through decision of only one of you.

HazleNutt · 30/01/2012 21:32

you don't necessarily need to take the dog for training. we only go to dog school as ours enjoy interacting with other dogs, training is done at home. And our two big but not even 2-year old dogs are very well behaved -they don't bounce, they don't lick, they don't go to rooms they are not allowed to enter and so on.
If you don't have much experience with dog training, there are many recourses online available that break teaching each command down to very simple steps.
You can also try those books here:
www.amazon.co.uk/Dog-Training-Dummies-Lifestyles-Paperback/dp/0470600292/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1327959030&sr=8-1
www.amazon.co.uk/Complete-Positive-Training-Lifestyle-Paperback/dp/1615640665/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1327959050&sr=8-8

a well behaved dog is a lovely addition to your family and in most cases, all it takes is some time to train it.

randommoment · 30/01/2012 21:41

What breatheslowly says.

I'm not a member of the anti-Rottweiler brigade btw, but I do think a family pet needs to be chosen by all the members of the family who are old enough to have an opinion.

Original poster
MischeviousMum · 30/01/2012 21:54

Thank you all very much, I did consider the purchase of dog training for dummies to add to my collection of dummy books!! I am cross that DH brought her home in the first place but I'm far too soft to insist she goes as he loves her to pieces ( daddy's little princess as he's called her tonight) I suggested we both took her to training as she's far too strong for me to handle on my own although when she went for my chickens I rugby tackled her to the floor! (I'm very stubborn I was determined to show him I was just as good with her and got well and truly dragged all over the local park!) if she wasn't such a big dog I wouldn't have such a huge problem with having her in the house (I'm 5'8" and she can lick my nose when she stands up!) and we dont have a huge house. I shall push more to get her trained, then I'll just insist on DH hoovering her and bathing her every morning!

OP posts:
Original poster
MischeviousMum · 30/01/2012 21:58

@ random and breathe

This was also my worry too, DS is a bit Mischevious like his mammy. He likes to try and tickle her and poke her in the eye etc. To be fair to her even when she was poorly she did no more than lick him and nudge him away. But as my dad pointed out on the news when a child has been savaged by a family dog they always say "they were always so good with the kids, such a loving dog, so out of character for them"Hmm

OP posts:
breatheslowly · 30/01/2012 22:02

If a dog was to strong for me to handle on my own then I wouldn't have it, not with a toddler. In the worst case scenario, could you get the dog off your DS?

Original poster
MischeviousMum · 30/01/2012 22:11

I refuse to have her on my own in the house with DS. However rugby tackling her to the floor when she went for my chickens makes me think that god forbid it happened I could get her off. Supermother powers. But I won't willingly put myself in any situation where that could happen. Like I said I think new rule is she comes in when DS is going to bed for now until she's super trained!

OP posts:
RevoltingPeasant · 30/01/2012 22:38

We used a book, I think by a woman called Jan Fennell to train our dog; we had never done it before and it worked really well. She is 8 now and everyone says how lovely she is.

carmenelectra · 30/01/2012 22:46

Er, what's an 'outside' dog? ARen't they meant to be part of the family? What is the point of having a pet that is kept outside like a farm animal? How mean.

Imo the only people who do that to their dogs are people who either don't really want them, or have them as some kind of status symbol.

Dogs can be a hassle and hard work. I am a clean freak too and hate dog hairs. I would never make a dog live in the garden though. And what does that teach a child? no wonder your ds is scared of dogs if they are kept separate.

If a pet irritates you so much then you shouldn't have one.

P.s I used to have a very boisterous dog too who used to barge everywhere. My children weren't scared though because they grew up with him as part of the family, not some nuisance to be chucked in the garden.

carmenelectra · 30/01/2012 22:52

And let her in when ds goes to bed?What's all that about.

Look Op, you don't want a dog, get the poor thing rehomed.

People who keep pets they don't really want annoy me. People who don't want pets because of the precious kids annoy me more. A dog should be an asset to the family who adults and children all love, otherwise, don't bother.

clare458 · 30/01/2012 22:59

This dog needs handling NOW!!! How irresponsible is your dh to just bring home a dog without discussing it with you first. If you're already having doubts about the dog around your ds, why the hell did you agree to keep it?

Get the poor dog rehomed to someone who wants it and will care for it properly and sensibly!!

EttaJ · 30/01/2012 23:13

I agree wholeheartedly with CarmenElectra and Clare458!

That poor dog needs and deserves a loving home as do all dogs, not to be treated like a nuisance! Outside dogs, please, really. Do that poor animal a favour, quit whining and rehome her!