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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that this was a ridiculous question to ask

44 replies

cinnamonnut · 30/01/2012 19:18

I just got home from a meeting at school with my parents about a school trip to America. Everybody going is over 16 - basically, year 11 - 13.

The teacher running the trip mentioned that all students need to be in their hotel rooms at night and not leave when they should be in the rooms.

At the end of the talk, a parent raised her hand and asked "so how are you going to guarantee they stay in their rooms?"
Teacher "well, it's their responsibility, and there will be a teacher on the same corridor"
Parent: "ah right, in the same room with them?"
Teacher: "not in the same room, but on the same corridor"
Parent "...right tuts, dubious looks

AIBU to think that if you cannot trust your child to stay in their hotel room at night, you shouldn't be allowing them to go on a trip like this? Does she expect us to be locked in?

Maybe I just have judgey pants on today.

OP posts:

Kayano · 30/01/2012 19:23

We never had teachers in our room on our school trip to Germany when I was 12!

Its a weird question...

Plus kids need space to pull pranks on each other. Imagine sharing with a teacher! shudder

StrandedBear · 30/01/2012 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cheekyseamonkey · 30/01/2012 19:25

Ridiculous question. Clearly they'd never been on a school trip & think very little of their DC.
YANBU

jamdonut · 30/01/2012 19:25

I totally agree. Y A definitely NBU! Did they really think a teacher would sleep in the same room as them?! Good Grief! I could just imagine the outcry if they did!

At that age they should be able to look after themselves and follow instructions,otherwise, as you pointed out, they should not be going!!

ImperialBlether · 30/01/2012 19:26

Maybe, OP, you don't understand the fear that goes through many mothers when their children are going to be in another country with their friends, away from their families. It's natural to try to protect our children, wherever they are.

Maybe she does trust her child but doesn't trust others. Maybe she is terrified of something happening to her child. Try to understand.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 30/01/2012 19:27

Yeah - can you imagine to uproar if the school did put a teacher in with each teenager

WorraLiberty · 30/01/2012 19:28

YANBU OP

However IABU because I was just about to ask why you took your parents to the meeting

thepeoplesprincess · 30/01/2012 19:28

Who on Earth could trust their offspring to stay in their hotel room on a trip like thst? Be realistic.

splashymcsplash · 30/01/2012 19:30

A teacher would not be able to share a room with students for very good reasons.

Yes it was ridiculous. Schools often use youth hostels for trips with dormitories which may allow for a greater level of supervision, but at age 16 the students are old enough to behave themselves one would hope.

jamdonut · 30/01/2012 19:35

My daughter went on a French exchange last year when she was 14. That means she was staying with people she hardly knew. Does it make me a bad mother that I wasn't in the slightest bit worried about her, because she is a confident, sensible girl, and the school had in place good communication systems in case of worries or problems while they were all over there.

That doesn't mean I don't worry about her, but you have to let them learn to fly sometime.

Original poster

cinnamonnut · 30/01/2012 19:36

thepeoplesprincess my parents can, and apparently so can everyone else who thought the woman was asking a strange question

OP posts:

oiwheresthecoffee · 30/01/2012 19:40

I was 16 once..i can imagine what id have got up to..thats all im saying.

oiwheresthecoffee · 30/01/2012 19:41

Not saying you would though OP ! Im sure you are very trustworthy.

Shakirasma · 30/01/2012 19:41

YANBU. Surely her child has been on residential trips before?

I went to Marle Hall aged 11 and we didn't have a teacher in our room, why would we? That would just be weird! And we certainly didn't share with staff on 6th form field trips!

My daughter went to Romania on a school trip aged 13, staying in a city centre hotel. No way would I have wanted a teacher sleeping in their room.

The woman is odd.

sodapops · 30/01/2012 19:44

thepeoplespricess I can trust both my DC not to leave their room if the teacher has told them not too.

OP YANBU. Last time I went to a parents meeting about a trip abroard one parent asked the teacher how they were going to make her DS have a bath/shower! The teacher said he wasn't and it was up to the child if he wanted to smell or not!

thefurryone · 30/01/2012 19:49

How odd.

I went on a ski trip in 3rd year, stayed in hotel in rooms without teachers and we weren't allowed in each others rooms. The teachers patrolled the corridors to try and catch out the sneaky amongst us, we were caught with a boy hiding in our bathroom because an eagle eyed teacher spotted that we were making cups of coffee

thefurryone · 30/01/2012 19:50

That should be 'we were making 5 cups of coffee'

Original poster

cinnamonnut · 30/01/2012 19:52

Not saying I wouldn't leave my room just to nip to my friend's room or something, but I really doubt that would be a problem with the teachers anyway - and I really can't see my parents wanting something put in place to stop me

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 30/01/2012 19:54

I've met loads of parents like this.

People old enough to get married/get legally preggers and join the army and yet not quite old enough to be allowed to wander the streets of York without holding hands with a teacher

I heard one parent ask who would make sure her 17 year old son had changed his pyjamas nightly and brushed his teeth.

TheSkiingGardener · 30/01/2012 20:00

My husbands cousin has never let her children go on an over other school trip. They are 18 and 12 and the world is so dangerous that she thinks anyone who lets their children go away overnight is neglectful. It's really quite shocking how some parents think is reasonable.

Original poster

cinnamonnut · 30/01/2012 20:09

TheSkiingGardener Not even the 18 year old? Wow

OP posts:

BustersOfDoom · 30/01/2012 20:18

Having said that tho I was at an all girl's school so there was no shenanigans involving the opposite sex. Just lots of teenage girl silly running between rooms, practical jokes, giggling and shrieking. Was great fun at the time but I'd be annoyed now if I'd paid for a hotel room and had to share a corridoor with us. Was great fun seeing our teachers in their nighties and curlers tho when they came out to tell us off!

But no YANBU. A very silly question!

thepeoplesprincess · 30/01/2012 20:21

thepeoplespricess I can trust both my DC not to leave their room if the teacher has told them not too;

I'm sure you can. I don't doubt 16 year olds are infinitely sweeter and more innocent than me and mine were in our nightclubb;ing, binge-drinking, 20-something shagging days....

signet2012 · 30/01/2012 20:24

Of course they won't be in their own rooms! Its a school trip - they will immediately sneak out and participate in all kinds of things you probably wouldnt want them too.

I had great fun on all of my school trips and didnt have any more than 4 hours sleep each night!

QuintessentialyHollow · 30/01/2012 20:28

HA HA HA HA.

My cousin is a secondary school teacher, she teaches a class of 16 year olds. She took her class camping this automn.

There was a bit of a problem. They could not keep track of who was in and out of each others tents, and there were many that kept going to a little cabin near the campsite (on a mountain, so wild camping). Then, one kid complained that his sleeping bag was wet. It was in fact soaked in vodka from a broken bottle. Turned out that half the class had brought insane amounts of alcohol, and were in fact drinking it.

But of course, I am sure only Norwegian teenagers would try such a stunt, and not British teens.

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