to think that this was a ridiculous question to ask

[cinnamonnut]

I just got home from a meeting at school with my parents about a school trip to America. Everybody going is over 16 - basically, year 11 - 13.

The teacher running the trip mentioned that all students need to be in their hotel rooms at night and not leave when they should be in the rooms.

At the end of the talk, a parent raised her hand and asked "so how are you going to guarantee they stay in their rooms?"
Teacher "well, it's their responsibility, and there will be a teacher on the same corridor"
Parent: "ah right, in the same room with them?"
Teacher: "not in the same room, but on the same corridor"
Parent "...right tuts, dubious looks

AIBU to think that if you cannot trust your child to stay in their hotel room at night, you shouldn't be allowing them to go on a trip like this? Does she expect us to be locked in?

Maybe I just have judgey pants on today.

QuintessentialyHollow Hahaha

I wouldnt even want to go into detail of what we did. I was "the sensible one" in my parents and all my friends parents eyes. "Oh, Signet is going? Oh thats ok then " If only they knew!!!

TBH Its possibly a little naive for parents to think they can "trust" their children to stay in their own rooms.

Of course they won't stay in their rooms. But tbh if you can't trust your 16 year old to be reasonably sensible, then its too late imo.

Just to add we did nothing illegal.... no underage sex (bit difficult in rooms full of people) But we had fun. there was drinking technically the country had a limit of 14 years of age so we where not breaking the law!

The nights are the funnest part of the school trip. Not sure how they would propose to keep 16 + in their own rooms. Better off just assuming that you have bought your children up to have some sense and not do anything TOO out there.

Even if there was a teacher in each room ( hell of a staff/pupil ratio!) what would they do? Sleep across the doorway?

lesley33 essentially the point I'm getting at :)

People old enough to get married/get legally preggers and join the army and yet not quite old enough to be allowed to wander the streets of York without holding hands with a teacher

They are on MN in droves! This is the result when you don't start letting go early. If you don't give trust, independence and responsibility you end up with an irresponsible,clueless DC who can't be trusted.

I actually feel sorry for these kid adults. A friend is a university lecturer and says she comes across some students who don't seem able to cope with everyday stuff when they arrive at university and they are on a very steep learning curve. Leaving home can be a challenhge enough as it is, without having to learn basic life skills that should have been learnt years ago.

cinnamonnut - sorry I did realise you were making the same point. YANBU

When my DS went on ski trip to Italy the group was made up of 10 and 11 year old boys. Definitely no teachers sharing rooms but the oddest thing was having to sign a release slip so they could watch 'PG' films. Apparently they're not allowed to show children any films other than 'U' rated!!!

Seriously, does anybody trust their 16 YO to behave sensibly? You really shouldn't! I was quite sensible for my age but I still got pissed and was a bit looney tunes at time (sorry, MH brigade). As a result of this, I will never, ever trust my DC to behave, but that won't stop me from letting them go on school trips. Why would I want to stop them from having the fun I had?

YANBU.

The school trips I've been on (as a student and as a staff member) have usually involved boys being on one floor of a hotel, and girls on another.

It wasn't getting the kids to stay in their rooms that was the problem anyway...

I actually wouldn't have gone on a school trip as a 16 year old as I thought I was too old. Did go camping with friends at 16. And we did behave pretty sensibly. Stayed up very late, but I honestlt don't remember anything else - not even any alcohol!

Actually we did hitchhike as we get fed up with walking to another website. Got picked up by a school minibus with a load of teenagers.

sorry campsite - NOT website

I went on trips with college post-16. The whole point of them, surely, is a chance to get drunk, act out, have some freedom away from parents while still being vaguely supervised. They took a load of us art students to a dodgy hostel in Amsterdam, FGS!

I remember the (private) lectures being along the lines of "Officially no mixed rooms, but if you do bed hop, MAKE SURE NOBODY GETS PREGNANT."

Although, to be fair, 16 year olds getting hold of alcohol in the US is an absolutely miniscule risk. The drinking age is 21 and most places ID until you look 30 or older. So the sex thing is probably slightly less likely anyway, because inhibitions won't be lowered quite as much.

Oh yes, the boys on one floor and the girls on another thing. not that I was caught by the Latin master on the wrong floor and with my dress on inside out

YANBU

BUT - I can see why the mum might have cause for concern. When I was 16 I went on school ski trip and we were told we had to be in our rooms by 9 and that there would be a teacher stationed in the corridor. So we climbed out of the window and slid down the drainpipe (malory towers style!) to go out drinking. Brought back a load of alcohol too and drank it in our rooms on other nights. And I was in the tame/well behaved dorm! Some of the others managed to sta out all night and have sex with other guests.

As far as I know neither teachers nor parents ever found out about any of these things. But it's the kind of memory that comes back to aunt you when you have teens yourself, I imagine.

YOUR RESPONSIBILITY , U BROUGHT THEM UP ! A.K.A. REMEMBER THE 1ST TIME U WENT ON SCHOOL TRIP (OVERNIGHTER) ? OH, U DO ? YEP, THAT IS IT ! STILL YOUR RESPONSIBILITY THOU, RIGHT.