Can I legally move my daughter so she lives with me?

[sophia1986]

Hi all,
Basically, I split up with DD's dad early last year and moved out of the family home due to abuse. I was pressured into leaving my DD with her nan by my ex and his family. He soon moved his new girlfriend in to our flat and I have since found out that he is leaving our DD with his girlfriend for hours on end while he is at work and not asking me if I could have her. I am uneasy about this as I hardly know her and nor does he,really.

There is no formal arrangement between the two of us. She is with her nan to carry on her education. I live in the next county over and I want her to come and live with me. I am the only parent on the birth certificate and have been told that I have full parental responsibility and only I can make decisions about my daughter,including moving her out of school,as told to me by social services before christmas. But today, they went back on this and said I would need to get legal advice.

Has anyone been in a similar position? My personal situation is very complex so the above is not the whole picture,its just a brief outline.

Thanks

OP, you have probably been given conflicting advice because you phoned 'Careline' perhaps? The new guidelines on private fostering was only being circulated in some L.A's in October, last year and people didn't realise that they exsisted.

How old is your DD, when did you last have contact?
Have you walked into the local (to your DD) police station and asked their take on this?
How pro-active are you willing to be?
Why haven't you called to the house?

Also do you know if the school are well aware of the arrangement, has she registered this as a private fostering arrangement? and why can you not just go and pick her up? If you do pick her up, the nan cannot take her only her father could.

I wouldn't judge you - anyone who knows anything about domestic abuse wouldn't judge you (that it's not cut and dried 'obvious' abuse). If only you had got advice at the time (Womens aid) they would have told you that to leave her was a risky thing to do, When did you last see her? How long has she been at her nan's? Is she living with her nan or her dad (sorry, can't work out the story). You need to move quickly OP - call WA at your earliest - like, now.

OP who is claiming the child benefit? What is the offical position?

Bug the problem now us you don't like ex's girlfriend caring fir your child? But she is 6? And at school

So the girlfriend fills in like a childminder would.

Do you have contact?

Basically the court will act in what it considers "the best interests of the child", emotionally, culturally, physically etc.

It will look at the care arrangements, if the father wants residency then he and you will be assessed. The home conditions that you can both provide. How the childs needs will be met, educationally and socially. If not then nan will be assessed.

The childs feelings will be atempted to be sought. We have pictoral work books to do this with children under 10.

Why are you not having regular access? You should be having this for your DD's sake.

If there aren't any problems you haven't; mentioned that would work against you, e.g. drug abuse, mentel health etc. then I would just go and get her. Thank the grandparents for having her, but inform (not ask) them that you are now in a position to have custody of you daughter. They cannot stop you, legally or morally. And as far as changing school is concerned, assuming you'll be havign her back at some point anyway- then you may as well do it sooner rather than later.

If SS are not involved, then what is to stop you just going getting her?

The OP needs a school place for her, otherwise it wil go against her and could be used as a reason to return the child into the nans care.

OP if you want her back then you have to set your life up as though you have her. You need to find out if the nan has set herself up in a 'guardian' situation.

Apologies there is another thread here
OP Do perhaps restart this thread in Legal? Thanks
MN Towers/

Hello The OP has also got the same thread here
here
Perhaps one is better posted on than the other?
Thanks M Towers

Hmm. Well, advanced search indicates this is the only thread about this, and it hasn't been re-started anywhere else.

I'm another person recommending legal advice - this has got complex and difficult written all over it, unfortunately.

If you are not getting to see or speak to your DD, then you will need to show evidence of what you are doing to try and stay in touch with her - keep a diary of the times and days you try to call, that you send a card / postcard / email / text to her, that you contact her GP to arrange contact and what happens as a result.

You are going to need to show that you are stable, able and willing to look after DD and that you are doing all you can to stay in contact with her. Have a look at the http://www.naccc.org.uk/ National Association of Children's Contact Centres website - it has excellent information about the different sorts of contact, which might help give you ideas on what to do.

I'd say the longer you leave it the worst.

Personally, I would enforce my rights. You are the only named parent.

You may be able to quickly find a school place. People move home all the time and children are not left behind.
If you apply for a school place because you have moved the local Education Authority must find her a place.

Even if you decide to leave her with dad or gran, you should have an agreement in place to safeguard your access to your child, or in this case, her access to you, really.

Seek legal advice there's some great advice on here and good luck.