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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit upset that I can't find anywhere to get married?

46 replies

TwllBach · 30/01/2012 11:55

Ok, so I am very aware that this is a 'first world problem' and therefore probably being Unreasonable

BUT

DP and I want to get married. That's fine, there are two registry offices in the local area. The problem arises when we try and find somewhere to have the reception.

We are aware that we don't need a reception, but we would like to be able to celebrate with our friends and family. Our budget is miniscule and most of our friends and family will be coming from Manchester/London, while we live in very North Wales.

It would be easiest if we could find a venue with a bar so we didn't have to provide booze and catering so we didn't have to cook everything ourselves, plus accommodation for guests, so we are looking for a nice hotel really. But can we find anything? Can we buggery. The only nice one I have found is so far in the middle of nowhere that guests would be looking at, probably, a £40 taxi journey each way, as it only has four bedrooms.

AIBU to be disheartened and grumpy because of this?

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 30/01/2012 11:57

have you looked into hiring a marquee to put in a pub beer garden.. many pubs will do this.. and then organise a minibus for the guests from their hotel

CharminglyOdd · 30/01/2012 11:59

Or marquee in a field and hire catering/a bar. Ditto village hall and bring people in for catering/drinks. Minibus idea is a good one.

iseenodust · 30/01/2012 12:04

Marquee in a field. Get hog roast man in ...or would it have to be lamb roast? Grin

OrmIrian · 30/01/2012 12:08

No nice pubs? They will often offer food very reasonably. You could offer everyone a glass of champagne when they arrive but all other drinks to be paid for.

Original poster
TwllBach · 30/01/2012 12:08

I see we have a theme emerging here :D

A marquee could be good, if we did it in winter though, would it get really cold? In my mind it has to be done in winter or early spring because the tourism industry here is so strong that all the prices would rocket up in terms of rooms etc and I already feel bad enough for expecting guests to travel up here!

OP posts:
Original poster
TwllBach · 30/01/2012 12:11

We looked into a mobile bar and they charge £200 for 50 people but nothing for 100 people. Our guest list of people we want there hits the 70 mark, so if we could find a venue/somewhere to put a marquee, we could probably dig around for the extra 30 people and get the bar for free.

DP has it in his head that he wants Southern American food, like pulled pork, coleslaw etc in a buffet. I understand that it is his wedding too and he should have what he wants, but we are in deepest, darkest Wales for goodness sake, the hog roast is the best option!

OP posts:
Pootles2010 · 30/01/2012 12:13

Could you consider having it nearer to where your guests live?

Kayano · 30/01/2012 12:14

Social club?

My night time was at
The
Local working men's club and it was cheap cheerful and fab

Original poster
TwllBach · 30/01/2012 12:14

Oooh there is a special offer on marquees atm - marquee plus delivery, trestle tables, flooring and dance floor, tables and chairs and lighting for £750. Then we could pad out the guest list and get the bar for free, then there is just the catering left.

OP posts:
ohdearwhatdoidonow · 30/01/2012 12:16

We had ours in the backroom of a pub. A very nice pub, all candles, mirrors and subdued lighting. They let us provide our own champagne for guests on arrival, and we even had a singer - all in all cost us about £700

Original poster
TwllBach · 30/01/2012 12:17

Pootles, I did joke to DP last night that we should consider having it in Birmingham. That way we are roughly between London and Wales and the Manchester people get the best deal of all.

I can't remember the reasons not to, but I'm sure DP will remind me if I suggest it again.

Kayano, DP's bosses got married in the golf club, I will see if I can find their number.

OP posts:
GlendaGoose · 30/01/2012 12:17

Other options are local rugby clubs, football clubs, golf clubs. Also check out your local council website, they often have venues for hire.

startail · 30/01/2012 12:18

Local Rugby club. any Welsh town, and my English one for that matter, has a rugby club bar with a hall big enough to hold dances.

startail · 30/01/2012 12:19

Xposted with gooseSmile

ViviPru · 30/01/2012 12:22

No don't have it elsewhere.

Have it where you are. I know you want as many people as possible there and nobly want to make it as easy for them as you can but its up to them to make the call if its too far/too much effort.

Don't panic too much about their accommodation. It will be way easier for the guests to find somewhere to stay as individuals than it will be for you to worry about somewhere for everyone.

A North Wales marquee hog roast knees-up sounds great. I'd happily travel for that (and arrange my own accommodation)

But then I am extremely reasonable :)

Original poster
TwllBach · 30/01/2012 12:22

The local council website just shows the two really swanky hotels that do weddings. They are lovely and I do have the occasional day dream about doing it there, but we would have to win the lottery.

Ohdear £700 total? That would be ideal. What did you do about food?

The golf club hire themselves out for £60 which is ace don't you think? They already have a bar and the chef "will cater to our own personal needs"

OP posts:
BoffinMum · 30/01/2012 12:24

Ask Liverpool College if they have a nice room you could hire for a reception?

Original poster
TwllBach · 30/01/2012 12:28

That's the thing, ViviPru we have travelled all over the country to other peoples weddings and not grumbled about it, and I know logically that everyone that attends will be doing so because they love us, but when it is your wedding it feels a bit like... attention seeking? Or something similar. We have had to take the "it's our day, we will do as we please" attitude already in terms of guests because my father is EXTREMELY difficult and DP has three sets of parents!

Plus, we love it here. This is where I chose to come to university because I wanted to live here, this is where we met and this is where we want to raise our family etc etc, I especially am very attached to it and think it would feel less special somewhere else.

Although I am sure once I have had a few drinks I won't care where I am

OP posts:
OhTheConfusion · 30/01/2012 12:29

Would you not rather use the £750 that could be used for a marquee towards food in a hotel? That would be another £10 per head on top of your current food budget and hotels often provide the room for free as they are getting the money for food and the revenue from the bar?

If you keep the drinks 'package' to a glass of fizz on arrival and don't go ott with table decorations (many hotels have candle holders you could use) and they also often offer great deals in jan/feb as they need the business!

squeakytoy · 30/01/2012 12:31

My stepdaughter had a marquee wedding in December, it was heated, and everyone was plenty warm enough.

OhTheConfusion · 30/01/2012 12:32

This is a great deal.

Original poster
TwllBach · 30/01/2012 12:34

Didn't think of that Confusion so yes, I think the golf club is the best bet. That way we could probably do it all for under £1000 - do you think £10 a head for a hot and cold buffet is reasonable? Or is that not enough.

I really have no clue... but it is exciting Grin DM said she would pay for my wedding dress - I have seen some beautiful ones in Monsoon for less than £150 but only if I lose about seven million stone beforehand and MIL said she would pay for the booze if we did it somewhere without a bar. Do you think that means she might, instead, volunteer to pay a bit towards the food? Obviously we would still go ahead even if she didn't/couldn't and we would never ask, but it might be nice if she did Grin

OP posts:
marshmallowpies · 30/01/2012 12:37

Any of the youth hostels in the area or similar venues available to be completely taken over for the weekend? - lots of them do Hire A Hostel type schemes. There are also things like camping barns and bunkhouses for outdoor pursuits centres but you'd want to check what the heating situation is before you put people to sleep in there

Would be a lot more affordable than a hotel, but with their licensing you might be limited what kind of party you could have there (i.e. your own BBQ with your own booze provided probably yes, but outside caterers coming in they might not allow).

My parents live in NW and there are SO many places I've daydreamed about having a wedding reception 'if I won the lottery' - Portmeirion, Bodysgallen Hall, Penrhyn Castle...but we decided to stay in London close to where we live in the end for our wedding.

However if your friends are mostly in Manchester and London, I'd stay close to home - people can travel from Manc. easily and London in less than 3 hours, so why not give them the chance for a nice weekend in Wales?

CelticPromise · 30/01/2012 12:39

Haven't read whole thread, but a couple I worked with had their wedding at a youth hostel in N Wales, can't recall exactly where but it had a newly built room with floor to ceiling windows and views. It was in winter too. Worth a google?

wonkylegs · 30/01/2012 12:41

If you are out of season in your area you could try local 'adventure/outward bound places' they often have a big hall/ venue room with cheap accommodation for all your guests.
Friends of ours did this in scotland and we all stayed in the dorms / rooms for pennies and could stay late into the night dancing and drinking. It was brilliant fun we all ended up staying the weekend, some doing activities (mountain biking climbing etc) others just chilling out and enjoying the countryside. The venue had a bar but they hired in a ceilidh group.
They really made an effort too as I don't think they got too many wedding so the staff were excited as the guests Grin

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