To be a bit upset that I can't find anywhere to get married?

[TwllBach]

Ok, so I am very aware that this is a 'first world problem' and therefore probably being Unreasonable

BUT

DP and I want to get married. That's fine, there are two registry offices in the local area. The problem arises when we try and find somewhere to have the reception.

We are aware that we don't need a reception, but we would like to be able to celebrate with our friends and family. Our budget is miniscule and most of our friends and family will be coming from Manchester/London, while we live in very North Wales.

It would be easiest if we could find a venue with a bar so we didn't have to provide booze and catering so we didn't have to cook everything ourselves, plus accommodation for guests, so we are looking for a nice hotel really. But can we find anything? Can we buggery. The only nice one I have found is so far in the middle of nowhere that guests would be looking at, probably, a £40 taxi journey each way, as it only has four bedrooms.

AIBU to be disheartened and grumpy because of this?

We had ours in the local village hall and paid some village ladies to come in and do the catering

I'd be inclined to go for a youth hostel as well, tbh. It would be a brilliant laugh.

Lists wedding venues here

The adventure palce sounds like a brilliant idea, I don't know why I didn't think of that. We have close links with one on our doorstep at my work, so I might get a discount on whatever they might expect as we put a lot of work their way.

I'm going to show DP this thread when I get home... although he has just sent me a text saying we could go to Vegas for 2k

Here is another question for you all - my mother and father are separated and my father has been very difficult about the whole thing. He regularly sends me very hurtful emails about my mother despite me having constantly asked him to refrain from doing so as I find them distressing. We are in contact via email (I try and say "stop slagging off my mum" in one sentence and then move on to more friendly things) and the occasional phone call. I know for a fact that he checks his email more than once a day.

I told him on Saturday via email that DP and I were getting married. AIBU to be hurt that he hasn't replied yet?

These are the hostels which do weddings (i.e. you can get married there, not just have the function):

www.yha.org.uk/find-accommodation/types-of-accommodation/weddings/index.aspx

Two are in Wales.

Just to add, we've done parties off season in youth-hostels/outward bound centres etc, some of the bigger ones are fantastically well equipped and have lovely big reception rooms and so on.

RE your DF, maybe he's considering his reply?

TwilBach - are you worried your dad will make a fuss about attending the wedding if your mum is there too?

If that's the case, and you know he's likely to be fussing about it already, perhaps that's why he's delayed replying, as he knows his reaction is tied up with his issues about your mum? (and is likely to upset you as a result).

I guess if you are forseeing difficulties about both parents being at the wedding you'd have to make pretty firm ground rules with him now about being co-operative just for 1 day for your sake, etc.

My dad also ignored the news that we were engaged in an email, but more because we got engaged on holiday and sent a mail with all the news about what we'd been up to in the last week, adding a PS 'We got engaged!' on the end & he just didn't bother reading to the bottom of the email, bless him...

My DF is a very difficult man at the best of times, he can be incredibly racist and homophobic and has little to no social consciousness/awareness. Now that he has split from my mother he has said that he hopes all her family dies and that she is a prostitute who sleeps with "arabs and black men." He has fabricated a man that she met on holiday and dubbed him 'Corfu Chris' and emailed my nan, my cousins. myself my brother and half sister some horrendous things about her, as well as forwarding the email to my mothers boss.

Re the delayed reply because he's considering his reply, it's just not something he would do. I expected a reply along the lines of "congratulations, I will pay for all of it" (he is constantly doing 'big deals' that means he will earn millions that never comes off) or "congratulations - will your mother be bringing Corfu Chris? If so, I will bring the Turkish Mafia and we will break his legs."

After writing it all down, I don't know why I even want him there. But he was a great dad when I was young and I would feel awful if I didn't invite him - he's my dad.

I was hoping for him to reply and be normal, I think. If he couldn't do that, I would have replied explaining that of course he is invited, but he now has a choice. He can behave until the wedding and then be more than welcome, or he can continue making bad decisions regarding his communication with me and then he will not be allowed to come.

Right - stop googling wedding venues - that's your first problem. Add the word "wedding" in front of anything and it automatically triples in price. After all, on what other occasion would you pay £100/head for chickenorsalmon and prawn vol au vents?

YY northern I know, I've seen that advice on MN before so I only ever say 'party' if I am enquiring about somewhere/some catering/transport etc. I think I've heard it most in relation to cakes though - but I am going to be making mine. It will be either a trillion and one cupcakes (because I have been sucked in by the cupcake trend) or DP found a cake that is made up of loads of chocolate brownies and green icing that looks like a hill in a game that he plays - minecraft.

Congratulations :) I know how hard it can be to find places to do anything round here, so I sympathise. Have you considered Hendre Hall near Bangor? It's a medieval farmhouse and definitely more rustic than refined, so it might not be your style, but I/friends of mine have run events there and they've always been really helpful. They might even work with you on the food so your DP can have his American South buffet if you ask nicely. It's only a few miles out of Bangor, so taxis to civilisation/hotels won't break the bank either.

That's a brilliant idea re Hendre Hall, DP used to love going there - it's the place with the brick walls isn't it? We are definitely more rustic than refined as well

This is why I love MN!

Find a village hall that has all the structural things you need like a kitchen, loos plenty of space etc. then ask a few of your close friends/family as a wedding present to decorate for you. they will feel more part of the day and it will look fab. a marquee is only a tent yet once you get the lights in and the stuff on the walls and the flowers it looks fab and so can your reception. Went to a friends eco wedding where we were all asked to make or bring something for the wedding rather than a present. there was a big list of all the things like a wedding present list and you just ticked off what you wanted to do - wedding cake, cars, food, drink, cutlery, tidying up all sorted.

Oh my god Hendre Hall looks amazing

I will definitely be giving them a call. It's prettier than the golf club!

If we lived near our families then that's the sort of wedding I would like mummymeister but I would feel a bit cheeky asking people to travel 250 miles and to decorate the place/bring a plate of food as well! It's a lovely idea though - and we have already said that we don't want presents, the fact that they are coming is enough.

We had a november wedding and i wanted flowers at the reception but the budget was tight. The answer was buy orchids (or whatever flowers you fancy!) online from Thailand and some vases from v cheap home store. Sooo cheap but cheerful. Guests took them home and they lasted for a couple more weeks.

We had a sit-down three course dinner for 100 people at a stately home - and because it wasn't officially our wedding (long and tedious family story), it was considerably cheaper than it would have been if we'd had their wedding package.

There was also a very small classic car rally going on at the same venue, and many of our guests thought that we had ordered some classic cars for them to look at while they had their canapes (????????).

As Iseenodust says, orchids in large vases can be incredibly cheap - and then your guests can take them home.

We're having ours at the Marriott in Liverpool. Less than £800 for dinner for thirty which includes drinks and champagne for the toasts. Not an evening reception though.

Have you spoken to any pubs to see if they would do it?

Friends got hitched at this place which is near you they had a big BBQ and people camped really relaxed and nice. Might be worth a look www.fortbelan.co.uk

If the Birmingham thing is revisited have a look at Wolverhampton www.ramadaparkhall.co.uk/

I've been to a few things here including a wedding reception, good food and lovely place - although strangely at the edge of a housing estate

Right, I think we are dead set on the golf club at £60, which is no where near as lovely as Hendre Hall or Fort Belan, but if his DM pays for the food, means that, including the wedding ceremony at the registry office, the total cost for DP and I would be just shy of £200

that means I can spend masses of money on decorations and silly pretty things that we have no need for