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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have just text my boss to say I am Ill

38 replies

smilingthroughgrittedteeth · 29/01/2012 19:50

Just to clarify straight away that I DID NOT text to say I wasnt coming in just that I am not feeling well.

I am a nanny and havent had a day of sick in the 3 years I have worked for this family, however I have had a cold since October and just havent been able to shift it, over the past week I have slowly felt worse and today have had a high temperature, dizzy spells if I get up to fast and a very sore/swollen face, my DP insisted that I went to see the emergency doctor who has diagnosed sinutis and sent me home with a very strong dose of anti-biotics and told me to rest.

I thought it was only polite to text my boss and let them know that although I am going to work I am not feeling great and tomorrow (possibly all week) will be quiet and I will not be as efficient as normal.

My DP has just said that they may think I am laying the groundwork to call in sick or that I am hoping that they tell me not to come in, (not the case at all I fully intend to go to work), my bosses are fantastic and I hope know me well enough to know that I havent text for either of those reasons, because I am not feeling well I am know worrying about this so please tell me AIBU to have let my bosses know or is my DP just being an idiot?

OP posts:
JustHecate · 29/01/2012 19:55

I agree with him that they may well think that you are preparing to call in sick. Or that you are hinting for them to tell you to not come in. Or that you are hoping they will take one look at you and send you home. Or that you are hoping they won't want you to risk infecting the children. It's a very odd thing to do - just letting you know I'm ill so I won't be at my best - but I'm still coming in...

I realise that you were being genuine and had no agenda, but it honestly could come across like you do.

Sorry. But it's what I'd think.

larks35 · 29/01/2012 19:56

YANBU to have let your boss know you are ill, I think YABU to continue to work when you are and have been ill for some time. Give yourself a break, stop being a martyr and take 3 days off to recover properly from your illness.

JustHecate · 29/01/2012 19:56

oh, meant to add - it doesn't matter though, because when you go there to work, they will see that you aren't angling to be told to go home, etc, so they'll know very quickly that you really did have no ulterior motive. If they did think at all that you might do. Which they may not. You say that they wouldn't think that of you.

Sandalwood · 29/01/2012 19:56

Why text and then hope they know what you mean?
Wouldn't it be better to actually speak to them?

PPT · 29/01/2012 19:56

I don't have a nanny, nor am I am nanny. But, I think you sound very respectful of your employer. If one of my employees sent me a text like yours- I would take it at face value, and wouldn't read anymore into it- so no need to worry I think. Especially as they know you.

But- on a separate note- are you sure you should be going to work? If you are feeling ill you should be resting! Your body will take longer to recover if you don't rest!! (Lecture over!)

didldidi · 29/01/2012 19:56

yep it just looks like you're fishing for sympathy or the day off - and why don't you ring in sick anyway if you're not well?

SauvignonBlanche · 29/01/2012 19:57

YABU
Unless you are unable to speak, a text was inappropriate.

JustHecate · 29/01/2012 19:57

oh - if you have had a 'cold' since october - I think you should see a doctor. A cold doesn't last for the best part of 4 months. Get checked out.

TheFallenMadonna · 29/01/2012 19:58

This would be better as a conversation surely? Could you not ring and talk to them?

Hassled · 29/01/2012 19:59

It doesn't really matter how your text was or wasn't interpreted, but I do think you should take a day off at least and get properly better. Sinusitis is horrible.

squeakytoy · 29/01/2012 19:59

If you are able to type all this out to us, you would be able to type an email to your employers rather than a short text.

CalmaLlamaDown · 29/01/2012 20:01

Why not take a day off, you sound very run down.

SwedishEdith · 29/01/2012 20:02

I don't think you can have had a cold since October. Are you sure you're not allergic to something?

BupcakesandCunting · 29/01/2012 20:05

YANBU if you sent the text for the reasons you said. It's not your fault if others decide that they're going to read more in to it than is there.

You ought to take some time off. I have terrible sinus flare-ups and usually end up feeling like my face is going to explode from the inside if I don't rest up.

Hope you feel better soon. :)

Greythorne · 29/01/2012 20:06

Texted

rubyslippers · 29/01/2012 20:06

As a nanny employer I would be prepared for a call later saying my nanny wouldn't be coming in which would send me into a spin

Take the day off now, go to the docs and get yourself sorted

But please call your employers

Anniegetyourgun · 29/01/2012 20:06

YABU to breathe your horrible germs all over your innocent employers.

unusualsuspect · 29/01/2012 20:07

I think its ok to text and give them a warning that you feel ill.

you should take some time off to recover imo

Earlybird · 29/01/2012 20:07

Surely your bosses are aware you have been slightly unwell since October? So, it should not come as a complete surprise if you have finally got worse.

I think your text is considerate - gets them thinking about what they would do tomorrow (or this week) if you do call in the morning to say you are too unwell to work. Much better to give them a bit of advance warning about the possibility, rather than an early Monday morning call when they would be in a last minute panic trying to figure out how to arrange cover/cope without you.

Xanadudoo · 29/01/2012 20:07

Why dint you just take the day off?> Or a few days? if you are ill, you shouldnt be at work.

CurrySpice · 29/01/2012 20:08

If I were your employer ( and I had a nanny for many years) I would assume that meant you weren't coming in

CurrySpice · 29/01/2012 20:08

Oh and get well soon - you soound really ill :(

MyCarHasBrokenDownAgain · 29/01/2012 20:08

You definitely CAN have colds that go on and on. Mine's been around since October (I know cos I had the dentist on Halloween last year, and I refused a scale cos I was so snotty due to it!). It's been on my sinuses, chest, head, then round again. I often get them this time of year. Last time I went to the docs about one that had been about for a couple of months I got told to 'get over it', so don't bother now. This year I thought it had gone last week - it hadn't, it went to my ears and caused dizziness (requiring a docs visit). It's now back in my sinuses (sigh).

ElaineBenes · 29/01/2012 20:11

If I were your employer, I think I'd appreciate advance warning that you may call in sick tomorrow. Far better to arrange back up childcare in advance or arrange to stay home from work than a mad scramble first thing Monday morning. But I agree that you should let them know ASAP if you DO decide to take the day off.

BTW, I just got over sinusitis following a cold and it was horrid with dizzy spells as well. Once the antiobiotics kick in you'll feel better but you probably should take tomorrow off.

TeamDamon · 29/01/2012 20:13

I don't think you are doing them any favours by martyring yourself actually.

I would simply call (not text - why text? Confused) to let them know what the GP had diagnosed and that you are taking the time off to get well. This means that they have time to put alternative arrangements in place without rushing round in a last minute panic when you get to work and realise that you really can't cope and will have to go home.

BTW, I do agree with your DP's assessment of how the text will have been read, I'm afraid.

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