to have asked bil to move car

[parkingwars]

I will try to keep this short and to the point. I am a regular poster/lurker but namechanged as Dsis might recognise.

My Dsis was up for a few days and bil arrived last night. I dont particularly like him as he is very over dominant towards my sister but thats a whole other story and I am always polite and friendly for the short period I see him (1 day 1-2 times a year)

My mum was bring a very elderly relative to visit today so before they arrived I asked Dsis when they went out to the shops to ask bil to leave a free space outside my front door, and park after my neighbours car (2 spaces down) My relative is 90 and frail and its very icy outside so I wanted mum to be able to park at front gate as she always does.

They came back from shop and still parked in space in front of house. I was a bit and when Dsis came into kitchen I said can you not move car, she seemed aggiatated (I think she had asked bil in car and for whatever reason he refused, probably because shes asked him to do something) So dsis shouted to him can you please move the car and bolted upstairs to bathroom. Bil then approached me in front of DC very confrontational and said 'No i'm not moving the car I dont see why I should' I explained my reason why and he said 'no, I think there is enough room' I said there wasn't as relative would now have to walk down icy road then squeeze past the car. He kept saying no and I was getting really aggitated at him as I was very as to why there was an issue at all.

Dsis came downstairs I explained what was going on and she took his side and they left in a huff

I am now sitting very baffled and going over it all in my head. Surely I didn't do anything wrong!! If I was visiting and the person asked me to move my car I wouldn't hesitate or need a reason I would just move it.

So AIBU I can't see it from his side at all!!!

It sounds very much like they'd had an arguement, probably about something totally different and he was looking for a reason to stompoff home.

Ignore it, I'm sure your sis will phone and apologise tomorrow.

YANBU, you explained why, he still behaved like a cunt and on the plus side he left!
Good outcome IMO.

Fairly simple. He's a knob, your DSis was embarrassed but felt she had to take his side. Hope it doesn't spoil your relationship with her, though.

Your BIL sounds like one of those people who thinks backing down is a sign of abject weakness. Unquestionably he was being a stubborn arse. To not concede to move the car on the grounds that it might help a frail old person make it safely to the house in icy conditions are the actions of selfish bastard. You need to stick your ground and repeat this point until it penetrates his thick skull.

He's an arse. You are lovely.

He's a bossy tosser and can't stand that you're not afraid to stand up to him and he was more mad that your Dsis asked again and in front of everybody. He obviously controls her thats why she bolted upstairs. keep in touch with your sis she will probably need to talk but don't be pushy with her about him. I wouldn't invite him again though. Rude pricks wouldn't be allowed in my house.

You should have keyed the word CUNT on the bonnet.

He sounds like a bully, whose default setting is to rebel against anyone who dares to tell him what to do.

I suspect your DSis is too scared to stand up to him by taking your side.

I'm with Gash

Yep, he's a cunt.

A cunt who thinks he's more important than a frail 90 year old.

He is a complete cunt.

I vote for kill him.

I think you sis took his side because she was too afraid not to. She's probsbly cross with you because now he'll be in a bad mood about it all.

He is an arse by the way

He is an arse by the way

YANBU. He's a twat. I pity your sister.

He's obviously an arse.

Thanks so much. I just burst into tears explaining it all to DH as I felt so belittled by him in my own home. He would never have said anything if DH was here. I like that idea Gash!!!! I am so angry I think I could kill him The saddest part is my dsis didn't say goodbye to my DD (4) and she has been in tears because she adores my dsis

He's a twat YANBU, your sister is probably getting it now :(

I'd make sure to text her and let her know she's upset your DD. Just because you marry an arsehole doesn't mean you have to let their behaviour rub off on you. For your sister's own good, do not let his cuntishness be played down.
My ex was like this, and it was good for me to be reminded how unpleasant it was once in a while. I was pretty brainwashed by him, but some things still got through.

Agree - you should text your DSis like abbie says.

He sounds very aggressive and controlling, what a nasty little arsehole. Don't let him back to your home. Ring your sister up and tell her that you will not be bullied in your home and he will never be welcome there again. Tell her that you have no respect for any woman who could be caught dead with such a pathetic excuse for a 'man'. She is no better than he is. You're well rid of the pair of them.

I'm with ENormaSnob

yep,
yanbu,
he's cunt,
and what abbie said.

Actually to me the most worrying part is that you reckon he wouldn't've dne it if your DH had been home.

Why is that, can I ask? Has he form for backing down in front of DH? Does he think women's opinions don't matter?

Being an arse is one thing, being a misogynistic control arse is far worse.

He won't ever be allowed back in my home, luckily I don't see him much anyway. There is a long history of him controlling my dsis, she lives on her nerves and pain relief pills but outwardly acts like everything is ok. When he isn't around she often phones me or mum crying about things he is doing. eg recent op restricted her from moving around, he went out to pub leaving her with no food. came back and while she begged him to get her to A and E he got pissed and told her to fuck off. I have a million stories similar, mental abuse not physical as far as I know but she hides so much. Mum and I have tried everything to make her see sense but as soon as she senses us trying to help she backs completely away, denies or plays down everything she has said and tells us how much she loves and scarily 'needs him as he is the only one to make her feel better' we walk on eggshells in fear of her falling out with us and not knowing whats happening. She gets very angry and aggitated if we do anything tooput him down. They recently married and are trying for a baby now :( He won today and has taken my sister from me. I am so tired of years of trying to be there for her and complete frustration at her not seeing what we do. In front of men he acts like this really lovely guy, completely respectful. I said to DH about not liking him and he has said I was paranoid as he is such a great guy and my sister is attention seeking. He is really angry about today and said he better not attempt coming here again.