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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to have asked bil to move car

37 replies

parkingwars · 28/01/2012 18:36

I will try to keep this short and to the point. I am a regular poster/lurker but namechanged as Dsis might recognise.

My Dsis was up for a few days and bil arrived last night. I dont particularly like him as he is very over dominant towards my sister but thats a whole other story and I am always polite and friendly for the short period I see him (1 day 1-2 times a year)

My mum was bring a very elderly relative to visit today so before they arrived I asked Dsis when they went out to the shops to ask bil to leave a free space outside my front door, and park after my neighbours car (2 spaces down) My relative is 90 and frail and its very icy outside so I wanted mum to be able to park at front gate as she always does.

They came back from shop and still parked in space in front of house. I was a bit and when Dsis came into kitchen I said can you not move car, she seemed aggiatated (I think she had asked bil in car and for whatever reason he refused, probably because shes asked him to do something) So dsis shouted to him can you please move the car and bolted upstairs to bathroom. Bil then approached me in front of DC very confrontational and said 'No i'm not moving the car I dont see why I should' I explained my reason why and he said 'no, I think there is enough room' I said there wasn't as relative would now have to walk down icy road then squeeze past the car. He kept saying no and I was getting really aggitated at him as I was very as to why there was an issue at all.

Dsis came downstairs I explained what was going on and she took his side and they left in a huff

I am now sitting very baffled and going over it all in my head. Surely I didn't do anything wrong!! If I was visiting and the person asked me to move my car I wouldn't hesitate or need a reason I would just move it.

So AIBU I can't see it from his side at all!!!

OP posts:

bobbledunk · 28/01/2012 22:33

He is nice in front of men because he is a wimp who is scared of them, they can beat him up, he fears their aggression. He bullies women because he feels strong enough to physically intimidate them, no woman has ever stood up to him properly. You could play on his fears by getting your dh to ring him up and tell him how pathetic he is, tell him how dare he get aggressive with his wife and if he wants a fight....

Any social situation your in tell all the men loudly how he's scared of them but to watch their wives, grannies and daughters as if he finds a woman alone he likes to bully them in an attempt to feel like a big boy

I'd tell your sister that if she want to be with a violent bully that is her business but you will be calling social services if she tries to bring a child into that situation.

You can't knock sense into your sister sadly, only the life she chooses will do that.

Original poster

parkingwars · 28/01/2012 22:46

I am the opposite of my sister, she bows down and tries to please people without giving her own opinion. My DH and I are completely equal and I do have a major problem with over dominant men who think they are above women. There is a definite bad vibe between us when we are in each others company and left alone. My DH would be away to find him to thump him now, he is so angry but it would cause even more of a massive dispute with the family. As it is mum is taking the easy option of 'don't discuss it with me I don't want involved' and then sat and had a nice cup of tea and chat with them both at her house (didn't come here after they stormed out) which is hurting me more than anything. She doesn't want to rock the boat so DH starting something will cause a rift between mum and me and he is so not worth all that hassle. I just want nothing to do with them both now.

OP posts:

blackeyedsusan · 28/01/2012 23:17

it is not worht starting something. it is not worth it for dh to get into bother with the police for someone as stupidd as your sisters oh.

Mists · 28/01/2012 23:33

He is a complete Cynthia. Perhaps he can't actually park very well and is too ashamed to admit it.

Mists · 28/01/2012 23:36

Cynthia?

Fuck you auto-correct.

Cunt, I meant.

Apologies to anyone named Cynthia

duckdodgers · 28/01/2012 23:37

He sounds like a bully and a control freak who cant stand women telling him what to do. Your sister either asked him in the car and then suffered a negative reaction or was too scared to ask him in the car for fear of his reaction so then had to in your house. Either way she knew what his reaction would be.

It must be hard being on the outside watching someone you care about being treated the way she does and not being able to do anything about it - the only thing you can do is to be there if she needs you, until she realises she is worth more than this relationship.

duckdodgers · 28/01/2012 23:38

mists I'm glad you posted again, I thought "Cynthia " was some new insult that I hadn't heard of

Mists · 28/01/2012 23:41

Marilyn Monroe had a called Cynthia

duckdodgers · 29/01/2012 00:52

Ample · 29/01/2012 01:09

YANBU.
Sorry for you that you have to endure his company for even one day, once or twice a year. Could your sister not visit you on her own?

Please tell us you are plotting retribution of some kind (one that won't cause a family rift with your mum).
What a complete wanker.

TotemPole · 29/01/2012 01:22

I agree with the other comments about him being a bully.

@ being a complete Cynthia.

GiserableMitt · 29/01/2012 02:43

I hope your sister is ok and isn't suffering as a result of this tit's hissy fit.

I thought it was a slang reference to a "Cynthia Hunt" :)

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