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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to feel niggled at MIL comment

33 replies

zozzle · 28/01/2012 09:15

Comment: "Yes, you've had so much on at work lately" (starts sympathetically, then glances at porch on way out), followed by "you don't get time to tidy your porch do you?"

OP posts:
WelshMoth · 28/01/2012 09:16

Don't stress the small stuff OP.

My MIL regularly asks if there are any "wildlife" in my car before gingerly getting in. Makes me Grin

Haziedoll · 28/01/2012 09:17

Is that all your mil has to worry about - a tidy porch?

She clearly doesn't have anything interesting going on in her life so I would try to ignore her.

PurplePidjin · 28/01/2012 09:19

Aah, the joy of the back handed compliment! Yes you are justified in feeling a little irked, just remember...

You have a life.

FizzyLaces · 28/01/2012 09:21

I read stuff like this and feel glad to have the MIL I do but she does many other thing that annoy the shite out of me Grin

CervixWithASmile · 28/01/2012 09:23

Could you assume it's a euphemism and say 'I used to get it waxed regularly but just don't have the time these days'

She might might mind her own business next time :)

kreecherlivesupstairs · 28/01/2012 09:24

Who does tidy their porch? I don't have one but do have a very untidy hall.
What is her DS doing while you are working. Could he tidy the porch?

zozzle · 28/01/2012 09:26

Yes Cervix! Love it!

OP posts:
ifeelloved · 28/01/2012 09:27

Yes she's a silly cow and it was a stupid comment but don't turn it into something huge. Don't look for things ifkwim.

You don't have to be best friends but she is your dh mum and your child's gm. If handled properly she can be a great help.

Your own mum may say things every now and the that pisses of your dh, is he as quick to complain?

I don't mean to sound harsh but there are so many hateful things said about mil on here (some quite rightly) and I really think this is just a small thing.

If she does it again maybe pick her up on it and ask her the old mn favourite - do you realise how rude that sounds? Etc

MorelliOrRanger · 28/01/2012 09:28

LOL Cervix :o

zozzle · 28/01/2012 11:02

Yep, she's great in lots of other respects so don't intend to make a big deal of it - just peeved me a bit that's all.

OP posts:
RealitySickOfSick · 28/01/2012 11:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Svrider · 28/01/2012 11:14

My mil makes a point of saying something every time she comes round eg
Nettles on the drive way
Hand prints on the Walls
A speck of muck on the floor
Gravy stain on ds top (1 yo at the time)
Bedroom light left on
In fairness her house is immaculate, and she probably does well not so say more than one thing per visit!

Svrider · 28/01/2012 11:15

Meant to say yabu to let it bother you

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 28/01/2012 11:18

Svrider Grin

'Tidy the porch? Are you joking? I don't get time to have sex with DH, the porch isn't getting a look in :)'

That should make her think twice next time.

GinSlinger · 28/01/2012 11:22

feel niggled for 5 mins and then forget it unless she's a mean old cow in which case go round and poke her in the eye with a stick.

breatheslowly · 28/01/2012 11:33

If you had the time to tidy your porch, is that what you would do with it?

MeconiumHappens · 29/01/2012 18:50

Grin i have one of these MIL too. Except mine tends to say things to my mum (who then tells me). Best one ever was that she was concerned about our washing up pile as she is worried her (30 yr old) son may catch some illness from it.

ILoveSanta · 29/01/2012 18:55

Haaa haaa my mil asked me two days after my c section why I was eating cheese on crackers while i bf my ds instead of celery to try and shit the baby weight. I just smirked and cut myself a bigger it of cheese while I looked at her round size 24 tummy lithe form!

!

Oh another gem was about how my DS would have attachment issues because I worked full time and was going back after maternity leave! My DH pointed out that he had been at work for the last yr and my DS was attached fine to him!

They don't realise what they are saying sometimes I think! Don't think it is meant to upset us, people just don't have their mouth wired to their brain at times!

ILoveSanta · 29/01/2012 18:56

Oh and she passed comment on the ironing pile one time she came to stay, my DH offered her a go with the iron while she was here!

Helenagrace · 29/01/2012 19:03

I'll swap MILs with you. Mine commented to DH that my house it too tidy and that it gives away my working class roots. Apparently untidiness signifies that you are middle class because it shows you have your mind on more lofty pursuits.

I think DH would be happy to swap.

OldMumsy · 29/01/2012 19:33

FFS get her on porch duty, then expand it to general cleaning, could be cheap cleaning for you.

MissMarjoribanks · 29/01/2012 19:41

Mine was rightly critical about the state of our oven. So I paid someone to sort it out. MIL then told me that when her children were small, she used to wipe her oven out every Monday morning to keep on top of it.

MIL, I work on Monday mornings. And the rest of the week. You know this, you don't like this. It does mean, however, I can pay the mortgage someone to clean the oven.

happydotcom · 29/01/2012 19:48

With mine it's leaves on the doorstep / garden.
Also the need for me to get back to work " I will have some thing other to think about" re PND......it's all in my mind apparently!!

DozyNosy · 29/01/2012 19:50

MIL looked around my living room (dusted and hovered 2 days ago, tidied this morning) this afternoon and asked "Do midwives still do house inspections these days?". I just shrugged and smiled thought piss off you cow I've seen the sate of your kitchen, you even let the dogs jump on the dining table.
I'd like to say ignore her, but I know grating it can get, I've just about had enough of her parenting "advice".

BelleDameSansMerci · 29/01/2012 19:52

Don't you just say that she's welcome to do it? Or would that be worse?

I don't have a MIL. I have to live vicariously through MN. Grin

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