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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think about asking to be induced early?

57 replies

kiki22 · 25/01/2012 00:03

have posted in pregnancy but would like some more answers AIBU seems to get more traffic and in need of quick help/answers

I have my 40 week appointment tomorrow with the midwife and am having a serious dilema about if i should ask to be induced or not i could really do with some advice about it i have asked my mum and gran but mum is pro gran is against DP says it's up to me.

The reason i'm thinking of asking to be induced sooner rather than later is my grandfather is dying he was told last week he has 4-8 weeks to live but nurse says today she would say more like 4 weeks or less he is getting worse by the day, i really want baby to get here a) so my grandad can see him before he goes b) i'm terrified of going into labour on the same day he dies c) I'm worried how i would cope with labour if he dies days before i give birth d) ideally i would like my baby to be as old as possible before i go though the grief of losing him (i know that might not happen) i feel it would be easier if i'm not pregnant or just given birth

Also have been getting painful BH for almost 3 weeks as well as sickness, diarreah and period cramps and stabbing pains so bad i can't walk in my fanjo and bum! it's getting old fast!

On the other hand i've heard not so good things about induction and wonder if it's fair to push for baby to be delivered early when he's not ready because of the circumstances. I'm so stressed and upset i really don't know whats for the best i really need some help with this.

OP posts:

IndigoBell · 25/01/2012 15:38

I'd ask to be induced.

I'd also try reflexology - if you find one who knows what they're doing, they have a pretty good chance of inducing you.

Loie159 · 25/01/2012 15:45

Im sorry about your grandad...... I would ask - just beacuase you ask doesnt mean that you def want it in any case. You are simply exploring options. But like others say try more natural methods as well to see if you can help it along as the answer might be no in any case. Im afraid I cant give any suggestions as first baby was 6 days early and 2nd was 11 days early.... But I do know people swear by things like refelxology and accupuncture. Good luck and I hope that it all goes OK for you.

Popoozle · 25/01/2012 16:10

I have been induced with all 3 of my DCs. DC1 at 37 weeks for pre-eclampsia, DC2 at 40+1 because (and I quote) "there's no point letting you go over due with your history" and DC3 at 38 weeks because they were fed up of me asking to be induced!

All 3 were problem free vaginal deliveries. With DC3, my Consultant (different Consultant than with DC2) ended up saying that she would induce me if my cervix looked "favourable" (whatever that means) and because I had already been successfully induced twice before. Apparently, if your body responds well (i.e. you manage a VB) to induction once there's a very good chance you will again (according to Consultant).

Basically, my point is that sometimes they might agree to induce you on request (and you have a good reason IMO) - so it probably is worth asking. At least if you get a definite "no" then you know it's not a possibility for sure. It is a consideration though that the risk of needing a CS does increase for inductions and a CS is major surgery - coping with recovery from the op at the time you lose your grandad might not be much easier than coping with having a newborn really. If it's what you want though, do ask. An induction does not necessary end in a CS (as I am living proof of x 3) but there is an increased risk.

Sorry about your grandad, I really hope he does get to meet your baby. All the best.

fuckityfuckfuckfuck · 25/01/2012 16:14

I can understand why you're findign it hard but tbh an induction could lead to all sorts of further intervention that actually makes the following weeks much more difficult for you. I was induced with my first and it was truly awful. Fwiw, my due date is very near the date I lost my grandad last year and it has crossed my mind that I'd find that day very difficult, but I doubt your grandad would want you to put yourself through this, honestly.

Original poster

kiki22 · 26/01/2012 20:10

I'm just going to hope baby comes along before Monday if not i'm sure the consultant will help me make the right choice (or tell me a straight no).

OP posts:

crje · 26/01/2012 20:28

Had a requested induction on my dd at 38 weeks-Id just had enough I was getting run down and was worried the birth would end up being a c-section if I was too tired to 'push'........ my consultant was very open to it.
Id had 3 previous births where id had petocin on 2 for failure to progress. I delivered all babies myself and while the pg where I had no intervention was a little easier it wasn't a huge differance......
Id ask for a sweep and id ask the mid-wife if it was even a possibility for them to induce you,they may not be willing.
If your upset and anxious id say the baby would be happier on the outside too. Good luck.
Enjoy your time with your grandad whatever the outcome.

Original poster

kiki22 · 26/01/2012 21:49

crje midwife said it's a possibility but is consultants decision she also gave me a sweep yesterday, i thought i would have to beg talk her round to the idea but she was very open to it and suggested the sweep straight away, she said she would book consultant for Monday as they wouldn't consider it befor that. I will be 40 + 5 on Monday when i go so even if they induce me a few days earlier than the 40 +10 it will make a huge diff.

My poor grandad is getting worse by the day unfortunatly the cancer is effecting his mind i think at the rate he is going even if he's physically still here in 2 weeks he won't know whats going on. He seen my sister today and looked unsure who she was until my gran said looks he's xx to see you and he kept looking at her like he was unsure, he also told the doctor it was nice to meet him today when he seen him the day before and many times in the past :( it really is getting harder to cope with everyday i'm completely run down have broken out with a million spots, have cold sores, head aches, my skins gone all dry and hair looks lank and greesy all the time and just don't want to eat feel sorry for my poor baby being put thro it all with me :(

OP posts:

olgaga · 27/01/2012 22:48

Poor you, kiki, try to rest and eat what you need. What an awful time for you. Good luck x

Original poster

kiki22 · 30/01/2012 17:57

induction booked for wed @ 41 weeks :) feel better already

OP posts:

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 30/01/2012 18:17

I'm really pleased they've booked you an induction. And so, so sorry about your grandfather... you sound a lovely kind granddaughter. I think YWNBU at all to ask for the induction. A friend of mine had a 41 week induction when her MIL was similarly ill and, although the MIL lived until her DS was 6 weeks old, the friend was very glad she'd had the extra week or so with the baby.

JustOneMoreQuestion · 30/01/2012 18:34

My advice on OP (not read whole thread) would be to let nature take its course. I have been induced twice (early, medical probs) and given birth naturally once. It is SO much easier to go naturally, the contractions last longer, you get a rest in between them, and you can actually FEEL them working to push the baby out.
My dsis has been induced too (full term) and agrees with me, the contractions are constant and just not as effective.

Original poster

kiki22 · 30/01/2012 19:40

thanks i just can't wait another week in the last week he's lost his ability to speak and walk i've not slept for days worrying that he'll die on the same day :( I'm honestly turning into a nervous wreck i can not cope anymore. She agreed that waiting would not be good for me and said she's worried about PND. I'm still hoping i'll go before wednesday myself.

MW said my cervix is open soft 2cm and favourable with a bishops score of 7 i'm not sure what that means exactly but she seemed to think it was a good thing, also said that she could have broke my waters there and then, can anyone explain that to me in english? lol

OP posts:

Popoozle · 30/01/2012 21:24

That means labour could start at any time Kiki. Your body is "getting ready" for the baby to be born. Poor you though, keep us posted - baby will be here very soon one way or the other .

OhTheConfusion · 30/01/2012 21:57

Have been watching your thread and just wanted to wish you good luck. You are being amazingly brave and positive.

Your grandad will be so very proud to have cuddles with his great grandchild. Please don't allow your midwifes fears about possible pnd cloud your thinking, anyone would be finding the impending situation so very difficult, but your new baby could be just what you need to help you through this horrid time.

With regards to induction, I have had two inductions out of three births. All three followed the same path, a build up of contractions, quick labours and quicker deliveries. Remember every birth is different for every woman, take it as it comes. You can do this! x

Original poster

kiki22 · 30/01/2012 23:10

thank you so much i will be back with an update once baby finally gets here :)

OP posts:

Bewilderedmum · 30/01/2012 23:16

A Bishop score of 7 is good! means your cervix is favourable, and induction 'should' go quite smoothly - in fact - I wouldn't be surprised if you go into labour before then - not a clinical judgement btw - just a fervent wish and a feeling! x

mummymeister · 30/01/2012 23:55

Will be thinking on you Kiki. eldest born 3 days before grandad died and i took her in to see him in the hospice and so glad i did. i thought he wasnt with it but he told my nanna when she came in all about the new baby. it is one of those "photo's" in my mind. I am sure he will still be with you when the baby is born and that you will get your wish for him to see him/her. try to relax as much as you can to give the induction the best chance. have you thought about the " 3 hot b,s"? Hot bath, hot curry and hot bonk? Worked for me!

hellokittyrules · 31/01/2012 12:36

kiki - have been watching your thread
good luck not long now till you see your new baby
so sorry to hear about your grandad must be very hard times for you

Original poster

kiki22 · 31/01/2012 22:24

thanks mummymeister it's nice to hear someone been thro the same and out the other side makes me feel stronger :)

and thank you to everyone else i've found the upside to induction is i'm completely ready! Bag sorted nursery sorted and house spotless for bubs coming home silver lining and all that i'm sure i'll be back with good news by the weekend thanks again xx

OP posts:

mummymeister · 31/01/2012 23:07

kiki glad to hear you are seeing the brighter side. hope all goes well for you.

Bogeyface · 31/01/2012 23:14

I had a "Favourable induction" (as it said on my discharge notes) with DS2 and he arrived 3 hours after the first pessary was inserted, just on gas and air and me giggling like a pissed idiot. Which to be fair, I probably was considering the amount of G&A I got through!

I was told by my MW that a favourable induction is where the body is just on the brink of going into labour (I had a soft cervix, was almost 3 cms etc, so the same as you) and the induction just pushes you over the edge. It isnt so much an induction as a reminder of what your body should be doing so could it please get on with it!

Good luck, am thinking of you.

hellokittyrules · 01/02/2012 12:58

good luck for today kiki xx

Original poster

kiki22 · 03/02/2012 04:41

Baby born today healthy wee chap total angel has been a dream, dramatic delivery ended up with a spinal nearly a section but forceps in the end second deg tear :( worth it tho. Thanks to everyone who offered help and opinions x

OP posts:

PoultryInMotion · 03/02/2012 07:47

Congratulations Kiki Not nice to have a hard labour but the result is lovely. I hope your grandfather gets to see him very soon x

my2centsis · 03/02/2012 08:58

Another lurker! Congrats Kiki!

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