to send my child to bed hungry?

[ladyfirenze]

dts 7 was offered snacks after school of raisins, apple and carrots with a glass of milk. He ate some raisins and turned down everything else. At five thirty he was served a roast dinner consisting of chicken, roast carrots and sweet potatoes, steamed mange tout and gravy. He sloped off for a poo during dinner and left his carrots and potatoes. I didn't push him to finish them, but I did say I thought he should. He's just got out of bed to tell me his tummy is rumbling and he's hungry. I've said he can have a drink of water and have sent him back to bed...... That's right isn't it.....

I dont think thats really the issue here Rainbowebrite.

I'll stay where I am thankyou,OP. It's quite cosy here. I'll pass on the biscuit though thankyou. I'm in more of a savoury mood.

Sorry, cross posts.

This thread must be sending out psychic waves. I've just made myself a peanut butter sandwich- and just as I was finishing it, my 10 year old came down saying he was hungry. I was tempted to ask for advice on here first, but then just made him some toast. He's had a busy and active day at school, followed by 2 hours of football training- obviously chicken pie, peas, new potatoes, carrots and cabbage at 7.00 wasn't enough.

If they are hungry, feed them. If they arn't, don't. It's simple really.

We eat between 5 and half 5 most nights. But I don't work so I don't have to worry about getting home etc.

My boys are 4 and 3 and don't go to bed until 7. They have a slice of toast or biscuit if they say they are hungry before bed.

If this happened all the time then I would say yanbu but a one off yabu. Give him something to eat.

I feel hungry. May have some penis casserole

Amber.. .. seriously, my mothers portions were so bloody small, you always ate everything on the plate... and went begging for seconds!!!!

My mum had food issues to be honest... but it was only as an adult I realised it. Which is probably a good thing, because me and my mum had very different views on food. My mum was permanently on a diet... looking back I can see it, but as a child I didnt notice it. We had a very healthy home cooked diet though.. hardly any processed things (in the 1970's there wasnt much of that anyway), but there were no restriction on what we could eat.. just the amount.

I don't think the issue is about who prepares the snack;Rainbowbrite. The issue is if the OP's son should be allowed food at all,regardless of who prepares it.

Hang on, he ate most of the dinner, based on the OP. he didn't leave it all on a whim, knowing he'd get more later. And this isn't a regular occurrence or a reflection of poor parenting. That's an OTT comment if you ask me.

I feel hungry. May have some penis casserole

Careful eau.. you know too much salt is a bad thing!!

If he hould be allowed a snack at this time I should say.

Poor child, I can't imagine denying my child food if they are hungry and last ate 3 hours ago. Eat when you are hungry, forcing your child to eat when he is not hungry is setting your son up for bad eating habits.
Op so you don't eat another thing until breakfast after eating at 5.30pm?

I can't believe people are saying "he isn't hungry"

The OP is AIBU to send my child to bed hungry

So the OP thinks he is hungry, the debate is whether she should let him have a snack.

Gooshka, believe it! I'm one of those parents that allow their children to eat when they like. If my DS doesn't want his dinner then I don't force him. If he wants a snack before bed, I get it for him gladly. He eats healthily, he keeps active, he doesn't eat quite as much as I would like but I'm afraid, yes, there are a few of us about. We'll be the parents of the kids involved in gun violence and drug dealing. I'm such a bad mother and I don't believe in God - I'm definitely going to hell.

Squeakytoy, your mum sounds as though she had similar issues to my mum! just in reverse!

She was always dieting or 'fadding', no crap food either, she just had to see a clear plate! [god bless all our cats over the years who helped me finish the horrible stuff!] I think it probably came from her growing up V poor and quite probably going hungry at times, think she wanted us full up. which is understandable.

If we were hungry after dinner, we were offered fruit or a slice of bread [wholemeal of course] at a push.

Not much chance of being hungry after dinner though!

YANBU, it wouldn't even occur to me to feed DD after she has gone to bed, in much the same way that I don't get up and start raiding the fridge for chocolate or bread and cheese after I have gone to bed. I freely admit that if DD had eaten what you describe and then asked for food 2 hours after bedtime I would say no. The only exception I can think of is if she had been ill that day and off her food, then I would get her up for whatever she fancied to eat.

I'd say the food issues thing is a red herring too, just as many food issues develop from under control of eating as over control of eating.

Amber, my mum was definately in reverse.. I think her idea was that you should still feel hungry after a meal!

My dad just went along with it to keep the peace and would spend his evening eating chocolate.. (the bugger didnt have an ounce of fat on him and could eat absolutely anything)..

Even in her late 70's my mother drove me mad by her "small" appetite.. "oooh no, dont give me more than a little slice of that turkey.. I couldnt possibly eat it... ".. [grrr]... and she was always tired. She didnt bloody eat enough!

Well, if he has to prepare the snack himself, it will show if he really is hungry! I disagree that it's not an issue, as the OP has done more than enough for her DC today, so why should she have to do anything else once they're in bed?

I mean that the OP doesn't want her ds to have the snack at all. Even if he prepares it she doesn't think he should be allowed a snack. Hence why I say that it doesn't matter who prepares it,because he isn't allowed it. So there is nothing to prepare.

Having a set dinner time and encouraging children to eat it, will not be setting him up for food issues in later life. Providing a nutricious dinner and saying "just eat what you like, if you are hungry later you can have some biscuits" WILL cause no end of problems.

In our house we eat at 5.30ish, dd is encouraged to eat her veg, and if she doesn't then there is no dessert. She doesn't get supper except a glass of milk, she sleeps almost 12 hours, and she is ready for a good healthy breakfast by morning(she is 6.5).

5.30 is not too early for tea, most families who are at home with children eat around this time, thats why it's called 'tea time'. 7pm is called evening. I would say it is mainly families with working parents who eat later, because they have to! (unless they are super organised and have meals ready).

so why should she have to do anything else once they're in bed?

Because you are still a parent after 7pm!

'eat what you like have a biscuit later' is not the alternative though snowmaiden.

Hungry=eat something [not a biscuit]

This thread is reminding me of the time when my dear, late Auntie Margaret got all three of us out of bed after midnight and cooked us chips as my granny slept on obliviously in the next room :)

To be fair I am hooked on chips now.

'as the OP has done more than enough for her DC today, so why should she have to do anything else once they're in bed?'

I'm pretty sure parenting isn't the sort of job you can 'clock off' from. What dya do if your DC's are sick in the night? Say 'sorry I'm not on duty at the moment, come back at 8am'?!

Weetabix . Will sort out his bowels by the morning, and he'll sleep better with a full tummy. My older boy can wipe out 3 for breakfast, goes to school happy and full of energy!