to send my child to bed hungry?

[ladyfirenze]

dts 7 was offered snacks after school of raisins, apple and carrots with a glass of milk. He ate some raisins and turned down everything else. At five thirty he was served a roast dinner consisting of chicken, roast carrots and sweet potatoes, steamed mange tout and gravy. He sloped off for a poo during dinner and left his carrots and potatoes. I didn't push him to finish them, but I did say I thought he should. He's just got out of bed to tell me his tummy is rumbling and he's hungry. I've said he can have a drink of water and have sent him back to bed...... That's right isn't it.....

Also some people have said op is not bu.

I'm hungry too. Think I'll have beans on toast.

Anyway, that said I don't think it's fair to criticise the type of snack,time OP's ds goes to bed etc. It's not really germane to the thread.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the bedtime if that's what suits her children, however if the poor child hasn't gone straight to sleep as usual, surely you'd be more inclined to believe he was hungry?

I think it depends if he does this sort of thing regularly, or if this was unusual for him. If he often leaves his tea and then asks for snacks at bedtime then you were right to say no. If he usually eats his meals well, then I would have given him something to eat and forgotten about it.

He wasnt hungry enough to eat his snacks and the poo put a stop to dinner time.

He is hungry now, so why shouldnt he eat given that he didnt eat much earlier?

I eat when I feel hungry, if im eating and ive had enough, I stop eating. thats normal and healthy surely?

I wasnt allowed to stop eating when I was full as a child, I had to clear the plate [dished up by mum] that can lead to eating problems., as I was older I tended to carry on eating after I was full as thats what I was trained to do, its really not a good idea.

I really dont understand this food facism with parents and their children, we all know parents are in charge, you're really not 'letting them win' by feeding the FFS!

Gumby, since when has a seven year old school child worked 9-5?

I don't normally get involved in AIBU, can't think why.

YABU feed the poor child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [angry}

I know some people have said she isn't being unreasonable. I just don't see the point of posting in AIBU when one has apparently made up one's mind from the beginning,or at least at the first sighting of a 'YANBU'.

them

If the OP knows she isn't being unreasonable and doesn't want opinions then this thread is really 'my kid's hungry'.....

Fluffy - I'm just saying that 5.30pm is early to have dinner, some people said it wasn't, I was explaining why I think it is

It is a long time to go without food over night

Unbelievable. I'm lost for words. I cannot believe some of the mums on here - it's no wonder we're raising obese, spoilt kids. Snack at 3.30, tea at 5.30, bed at 7.30/8pm. How difficult is that? Fancy rewarding a child for farting around with their tea and then taking the p*ss at bedtime. God help you when they are teenagers. Can't believe this sort of parenting is actually happening and that such parents have the audacity to try and make others feel guilty for having some structure and discipline in their children's lives.

Seriously it's not like he's actually 'starving'. He didn't finish his veg. And now his mum has told him he can't have anything else. Seems very reasonable to me. He won't notice by the time he's asleep.

I wasnt allowed to stop eating when I was full as a child, I had to clear the plate [dished up by mum] that can lead to eating problems., as I was older I tended to carry on eating after I was full as thats what I was trained to do, its really not a good idea

I suppose that depends on if portion sizes are too large. My mum's were always on the small side, so there was plenty of room for pudding.

I agree what time they go to bed or what snacks are offered are irrelevant , however he has been in bed for 2 hours and said he is hungry , if he normally goes out like a light i would be inclined to believe he is hungry. Tomorrow he probably will eat all his meals. It isn't a win or loose situation. He is just hungry now.

I'm sorry, but I think you are setting your son up to have food issues later in life. Teaching him that he must eat food when it's on offer, even if he doesn't want to (snacks), to stop him feeling hungry later on...?? Really?? Babies are born knowing when they are hungry and when they are full - as a parent in this day and age you should know that allowing them to stay tuned into this will be a big advantage in maintaining a healthy weight. Eating at set times/eating when food is available, even if you don't want it, to stem hunger later on - is not the way forward.

He ate what he wanted to at dinner time (and a good helping by the sound of it), 3 hours later he woke up hungry (just tonight, not every night...) and the poor kid can't even have a glass of milk and a slice of toast??

If they make a good effort with their vegetables at dinner time - I don't see any problem with a snack/supper later on. Of course your DS is in bed so early he doesn't have time for a snack before bed - so if on the odd occasion he wakes up hungry - it's hardly the end of the world to give him something plain & boring (you also don't want to encourage waking up for the fun of it!!).

squeaky, it was more about the habit learned rather than portion sizes or even food types. my mum cooked good healthy food, but it set me up in the habit of feeling I had to eat everything on the plate.

I'm quite delighted with the opinions, vast as they are LaFille, and if this post is irritating you - please bugger off to another one, or better still, post your own

I fail to see the problem with the type of snack given, the time snack and dinner is given and the childs bedtime.

OP's child isn't complaining that he's not tired. He's complaining he's hungry because he chose not to eat his food. The rest is completely irrelevant.

Given that he normally goes to bed quite fine (his twin is clearly flat out!), usually eats both his snack and dinner, then I fail to see what the issues are as their routine is clearly working.

That said, I still think as a one off I'd personally probably give in and offer him something but with a warning about making doing it again - especially if he's still awake.

If it is a regular occurance then no I wouldn't, but then I'd also be looking at possibly altering his routine if it's not working. But that doesn't sound like it's an issue here.

I can't sleep if I'm hungry so I wouldn't expect my DC to either.

A banana is a good snack before bed time if you're worried about biscuits.

Gooshka really

He wasn't 'farting around' Gooshka. At least not according to the OP, he went to the loo,heaven forbid,and he ate some of his dinner and snack. It's not as though he didn't eat at all.

And I'm quite sure that the parents who are disagreeing with the OP are also capable of providing discipline and structure. You don't need rules set in stone in order to provide either.

Plus if you're so worried about obesity then you should know that eating when you aren't hungry is a habit that's likely to lead to it.

I honestly don't see why the OP should be expected to get /give a child of this age a snack after he's gone to bed. If he's that hungry, let him help himself to a biscuit or a slice of bread. If he makes a mess doing it, let him clean it up. As far as I am concerned, once the kids are in bed, parents are off-duty, barring any illness or emergencies. Don't we do enough for them all day long, without making them treats such as hot chocolate once they're in bed?

lady take back that biscuit you have posted and go and give it to your son

He is not hungry!!! He's had ample food. Maybe he feels a bit peckish because he didn't eat as much as normal but HE IS NOT HUNGRY.

No, don't give him a biscuit and say not to expect this another night. How ridiculous. Why shouldn't he expect it another night if you do it this night? Doh.

You've done the right thing. One tip I do is leave the bits and bobs until they are fast asleep as ds1 went through a phase of this and I would let him go down and eat what he'd left, cold. If he was truly hungry he would eat it. If he was wangling for a biscuit or time downstairs then he usually said, "No thanks" and went back to bed.