AIBU to feel that DH makes such a palaver out of every task?

[lolaflores]

I dread him starting a job, of any size. Yesterday it was installing the new Virgin Hub doo daa. Drama darling, he deserved a frigging oscar for the exasperated breathing, head in hands, chuffing about the place like a steam train out of control. It did get a bit confusing, granted, but please in the name of god stay calm. Just got such little patience. One other thread the other day said about how much more relaxed house is with DH. OFten times mine is in a vortex of stress that is of his own creation. can they not do anything without all of the hoo haa? AIBU? Or just dismissive

no, DP does it too - much hassle and "giving up", then trying again in such a pissed off way that he breaks whatever it is. When we first got the buggy I really stressed the importance of learning how to work it so he wouldn't do similar and 3 years later, though he hasn't broken it yet, he still doesn't put it up right!

My husband used to be like this, I cured him of it by completely ignoring the huffing and puffing. Not in a hostile way, just completely pretended it wasn't happening. Deprived of an audience he stopped. It took years though. It's learned behaviour I guarantee it .

go out.

"I can see you're getting wound up, so I'm leaving you to it. You'll get on better with no distractions. Call me when you're done."

As Chub says - it's all about the audience.

Remove the audience - remove the dramatics.

Also knowing your limits. We got some bunkbeds for ds recently, a few years ago we would have spent three hours doing them and ended up swearing at each other and on non speakers Instead I paid a handy man twenty quid to do it while Dh was at work and I sat on my arse. Worth every penny.

Chub good point there about the in laws. His dad is a nightmare, just cooking dinner is the same as launching the space shuttle. Though he actually screams and rants, froths from the mouth till I do have to leave. I stayed quiet yesterday, did not ask for updates and did not pander to the hassle. To be honest it was a bit better. so in the fullness of time it should get easier.
god help us.

I always day to dp - if you don't like the way I'm doing it then do it yourself.

Erection Drama shall always be wuth us :) - but I also think getting someone to do stuff is a very good idea.

which would the right answer kingie if it would then not entail, dear dp standing over me huffing and puffing telling me I am doing it wrong. Which has happened lots of tiimes before. and there is plenty I do in the name of a quiet life, but some shiney flashy lighty things are like cat nip to himself. One does ones best kingie but life sometimes is not that simple

DH is the same. If we buy anything flat packed there is always a drama. He is very capable of doing it, yet there is always huffing and puffing, the holes for the screws are never right and he has to get his drill out. I am sure that everybody else manges to make it without drilling.

I leave him to it because I can't be doing with it. His dad is just the same, so I agree it is probably a learned behaviour!

DH is the same. If we buy anything flat packed there is always a drama. He is very capable of doing it, yet there is always huffing and puffing, the holes for the screws are never right and he has to get his drill out. I am sure that everybody else manges to make it without drilling.

I do think a lot of flat pack stuff is very poorly designed and made. DH reckons Ikea is streets above everyone else in that respect.

OP, are you married to my husband?

No, do you have my father in law. Though we may share a passion for coffee.

Sounds like you don't then. Shame, I was starting to think it could actually be a good thing; I could have kept him out of the way while you built your flat packs in peace, and the other way around :o

yanbu - my oh is like this

DH is brilliant at all things practical, but hopeless at having me help him.
Going out is best

Well, mine has won. I cannot deal with the stress it brings, so will either do it myself or get someone in to do it and pretend I did it.
I have put up every curtain rail, every blind, put every piece of furniture together.

My B/F is like this over his Gravy. Its such a masterpiece not and he huffs and puffs and makes such a drama over it, that dinner frequently goes cold or overcooked. The faffing can go on for ages and take over the whole kitchen....... for gravy

YANBU I've managed to put together flat packs, including a large wardrobe, by myself, without the need for a drill. I've also managed to "install" (sorry, can't think of the right word) the wireless network so we could use the internet on the laptops, without huffing and puffing.

It usually takes me twice as long as what it says on the instructions but I do it.

My dp used to make a grand fuss about flat pack. Until it finally sunk in that I'd buy some furniture and then quickly and quietly get it done by myself. Now if we get something that requires 2 people he doesn't get into a song and dance about it ;)

Ignore
Ignore
Ignore
Ignore

It may take a wee while but witout an audience it does get better.

I also refuse to help a lot of the time [evil aren't I]
If it's something I know that I could do myself, why do I need to help him?

Just for the record due to him working out of the country for 2 of our house moves [not intentional on his part] I have a pretty good idea what needs 2 people and what needs one.

It does get better really!

I cope with the dramas much better since I moved to key stage 1 treat huffy husband as you would a huffy child hey presto husband realises he is a being a clown and we all laugh ... "There we are then" has become a stock phrase in our houses!

My OH does like to 'let' me put the flat pack furniture together. Clearly, as a man, he is much more capable.

However, he suffers from that peculiar man affliction whereby if it doesn't immediately fit, or he can't figure it out, he will get annoyed then use brute force to make it fit. The things he has broken doing this [annoyed]

I mean!

Whackamole I was JUST about to write exactly that!

I just leave the room and go and find something more interesting to do somewhere else.

If he needs help, he can ask a boy or four.

To be truthful, my husband is rather handy around the house with his toolbox.