annoying neighbour

[veronicalake]

We live in a small rural community. New family moved in round the corner with 4 kids but two already away at uni so only an 11 and 14 yo at home. My kids are 3, 5 and 7. My dh works away and what with the kids and 3 pets i find my load quite ample to say the least.

So new neighbour who has joined the parents group at school takes it upon herself to ask me about a local event coming up which the school get involved in as a fundraiser and says 'i was wondering if you'd like to help'

AIBU because i felt like saying 'if i wanted to help i would have volunteered'. Sorry but surely as someone who has had a few kids herself she must remember how hectic life can be. We do our bit for the school in other ways. I think she is a cheeky cow.

maybe she was just being friendly?
Wanting to get to know you?

Think she's had a lucky escape.

YABU, she only asked. Just say you'd love to but are a bit pushed for time.

Yabu

YABU

Blimey OP I feel sorry for your new neighbour. She was probably just chatting and if she is new didn't know your exact circumstances. She may also have seen it as a chance to get to know you better, best she doesn't bother I think.

She only asked! It is up to you to say "no, sorry, that is not convenient for me".

You did say that, did you not?

YABU.

What's all the backstory got to do with any of this?

Did you think it would create empathy for your situation? You could have just put "A neighbour asked if I'd like to help with a school fundraiser. AIBU to think she is a cheeky cow?", sounds pretty unreasonable, doesn't it?

Yabu....and bloody unfriendly as well.

welshmoth actually i have tried hard to befriend this women. She moved into my old friends house and i have on many occassions asked her if she'd like to walk together (with our dogs) and also invited her for a cuppa which she has never accepted.

I have gone out my way to be friendly she hasn't.

Perhaps i am paranoid but she asked with the tone of 'perhaps you should be doing something too'

Oh and this is why I'm glad I now live in the city. Bloody rural community minefelds

Perhaps she thought you would enjoy it.

She asked and you said no and if that was the end of it then she doesn't sound very annoying to me. If she had kept pushing you to join in after you had said no, that would be annoying.

Did she have a gun to your head when she asked? Because if so then YANBU, however if she didn't....
YABU!

Agreed. If she kept on at you after the initial refusal, then that would be annoying.

Not sure i deserve to be flamed. The background is significant because if i lived somewhere near family and i could off load the kids to allow me some time to bbq for the school fundraiser maybe i would. But i would do it off my own back not becuse she asked me too.

For all who think i am unfriendly i am anything but unfriendly and have gone out my way to become friends with this family. SHe is a very confident woman and says what she thinks, i am probably quite wet in comparison.

Wtaf?

scared of op

You sound unfriendly.

Perhaps you could have discussed fund-raising over that cuppa you offered?

I'm on the PTA at a school with 450 pupils, and there's only six of us able to find time to be on the Committee. Remember, every little helps.

op

You got flamed because your opening post was very unreasonable, ranty and quite scary sort of 'How DARE she ask me if I want to Help out?!'

If the background was so relevant it should be in the OP and not drip fed after being told you are UR

Drip drip n all that

To me you sound a bit territorial tbh. You sounds as though you think she's getting to comfortable and involved in your community too soon, now she has her feet under the tanle. I think you don't like being asked for help with the school from someone you perceive as a newbie.

So while you don't find you have time to offer this cause, you resent that she does, because you have lived there longer than she has.

Or something like that.

Or maybe not.

OK then. If your OP had read:

I've tried to be friendly with my new neighbour; inviting her for a cuppa, suggesting walking dogs together etc but on every occasion she has declined. I have accepted that she prefers to keep her relations with neighbours more 'neighbourly' than chummy.

Then, she suggested I should help with a school fundraiser, using a decidedly pointed tone, as if it was my obligation or something. I already do my bit for the school in lots of other ways. I'm constantly up to my ears with 4 kids, 3 pets and a DH who works away, so I politely declined.

AIBU to be a bit put out by the way she asked?

You might have got a few more YANBUs then.

On balance though, you're still BU.

This thread drips more than the tap in my kitchen.

Tanle?
table obviously...

veronica I'm sure you can be lovely, but honsetly, just read your OP back to yoruself.

In simple terms your question is:

AIBU to be angry and think someone is a cheeky cow for asking if I wanted to help out with an event at the school?

Er

Yes

Simple, non?

hobs she absolutely knows my situation. She has lived here for nearly 2 years now (still considered new as she hasn't been here for 10 generations)

I am an 'incomer' too so went out my way to be friendly.

FWIT i had already had discussions with her about the event and she told me what school were doing and didn't offer to get involved. She asked a couple of days later.

ok will accept i abu but still think she is a cheeky cow. You would feel differently i'm sure if you'd had the conversations i've had with her!!