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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think 18 months is still a perfectly normal age to be breastfeeding?

55 replies

spottyscarf · 23/01/2012 08:34

DH has been making noises about this for a while but this morning he said it's 'weird' that I'm still BF DD2 at 18 months.

He even said he mentioned it to the other mums at DD1's gymnastics class and they thought it was weird too! He also said you never see other people BF toddlers, but I pointed out that noone ever sees me BF DD2 either really as I don't tend to do it out of the house.

Now I don't really care what anyone else thinks, as long as me and DD2 are happy about it. She only feeds morning and evening and is quite happy to go to bed without it if I'm not there.

But I wondered what the general consensus is- I think 18 months is still pretty young to be BF really, she's still a baby (ish!). Or is my viewpoint just skewed?

Btw, I'm happy to stop when she's ready but she doesn't show any signs of giving up at the moment.

OP posts:
QuietNinjaLamp · 23/01/2012 08:35

Yanbu and I expect 99% of this thread will say the same.

Thumbwitch · 23/01/2012 08:38

YANBU - I went through to 23m with DS. DH also started muttering about it when DS was about 15mo, iirc - I told him I would keep going until DS was probably 2 but probably give up after that. In the end, we both (DS and I) came to a natural end with it at 23m - I was starting to feel uncomfortable, he only fed at night by then and it was easy enough to stop - he asked 3x the first night, 2x the next and only once the 3rd and that was it. Done.

stuffthenonsense · 23/01/2012 08:40

Perfectly normal....i am still feeding DD at 19 months and i am 33 weeks pregnant. Not intending to stop anytime soon. In fact WHO suggests feeding until 2 years and i am fairly sure that Islamic norm is 30 months and that is a massive proportion of the world population.

QueenOfFeckingEverything · 23/01/2012 08:41

YANBU.

18 years and your DH would have a point. 18 months is, well, normal!

maybenow · 23/01/2012 08:45

in uk society i'd say you have reached the point at which bf is both normal but also unusual.

just because something is unusual doesn't mean it's bad... in fact, most of the time we want our children to be unusual (talented, bright, coordinated, sporty)

QueenOfProcrastination · 23/01/2012 08:45

YANBU. I'm still BF DD (16months) but I am feeling increasing uncomfortable about people knowing that I'm still BF due to attitudes like that when they find out I'm still BF.

The reason it is rare to see a toddler BF in public is that most toddlers tend to be on morning / evening / pre-nap feeds only. Also, my DD is so easily distracted that if I fed in public I'd be flashing most of the time!

DD has just recovered from a nasty D & V bug. Never have I been so glad I had carried on BF as at one point she wouldn't drink anything apart from BF. Had she not BF she'd have been put on a drip.

Grit your teeth and ignore, ignore, ignore (easier said than done) - just remember the mantra "it's between me and my DD"

Memoo · 23/01/2012 08:50

Perfectly normal and lovely too.

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 23/01/2012 08:54

BF my dd until she was 2, although at that time it was only at night.

StrandedBear · 23/01/2012 08:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cory · 23/01/2012 08:55

YANBU. Perfectly normal.

OnlyANinja · 23/01/2012 08:58

Depends what you mean by "normal".

It's fairly unusual (in the UK) so not normal as in commonplace, but it's not abnormal.

(or what maybenow said).

FantasticDay · 23/01/2012 09:06

Breastfed dd until her second birthday - and then only quit as she had a newborn brother and tandem feeding was a bit awkward. Actually it made it easier with him that I was still bf her, when he was born - none of that initial pain/howling baby while you are waiting for the milk to come through.

Bearcrumble · 23/01/2012 09:09

It is normal. I BFed until 21 months and would have carried on until he was 2 except it started to be uncomfortable and supply went poof from being pregnant again.

OnlyANinja · 23/01/2012 09:12

Google just gave me

nor·mal/ˈnôrməl/
Adjective:
Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.

Based on just that I'd say that actually it's not normal. It's not usual, typical, expected, or conforming to a standard.

That doesn't mean it's wrong, you could even say that it is better than what normally happens, but it's not normal by that definition.

Willabywallaby · 23/01/2012 09:18

Yes probably not the norm, but I don't think that should stop you.

aldiwhore · 23/01/2012 09:20

YANBU. Its not 'abnormal' but probably longer than many do it. I BF my first until he was 17 months, and only stopped because he wasn't that interested any more, and neither was I. It was longer than most people I knew, but not abnormal!

Mishy1234 · 23/01/2012 09:21

Completely normal. DS1 bf until just over 3 an DS2 is still going at 19 months.

It isn't just about the milk anyway. For a toddler who has bf since birth it's about touching base with his mother, just like getting a hug but with benefits!

LingDiLong · 23/01/2012 09:21

YANBU. Wish I was still breastfeeding my 18 month old! A friend is still breastfeeding her 2 year old and it seems and looks perfectly normal to me. And of course there are definite health benefits so it being 'wierd' isn't a great reason to stop.

Would he feel the same way if your child still had a bottle at that age or would he think that 'wierd'?

ZhenThereWereTwo · 23/01/2012 09:25

Normal, WHO guidelines say exclusive bfing for first six months and then continued bfing to 2 years old at least. I fed DD until 23 months. Worldwide the average is 4 years old.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 23/01/2012 09:35

Maybe not the norm but perfectly OK. I fed DD till 2yrs 9 months, I never set out to do that, she just liked it, it was convenient etc. It was only morning and evening from about 9 months onward. I did used to feel a bit awkward if she pestered for it in front of other people after about 1 year old, but never got any negative comments (she was fairly discrete if she did feed during daytime).

It was a godsend through a few bouts of D&V, although exhausting for me when she suddenly stepped up from a bit morning and night to BF round the clock again for a few days, but it helped her get better very easily. Whereas DS, who stopped at 9 months, used to get it much worse, have to be fed gallons of Dioralyte etc.

QueenOfFeckingEverything · 23/01/2012 09:37

Its physiologically normal Smile

Maybe not culturally/societally normal (here, anyway) though.

rubyslippers · 23/01/2012 09:38

Why would your DH mention it?

FWIW, I am feeding my 28 month old

My husband has only ever suggested stopping when she reverted into a new born over Xmas and fed hourly Confused

It is unusual in the UK but "normal" and usual in many different places in the world

Takver · 23/01/2012 09:42

Normal round here, move to hippy central in W Wales :)

I would say up to around 2.5 to 3 seems typical for people I know.

Whatmeworry · 23/01/2012 09:46

It's not normal in the first world as a %, but that shoulddn't stop you - IMO more something to work out with DH?

ReneeVivien · 23/01/2012 09:48

I found that I started picking up social disapproval for breastfeeding at about 18 months. I stopped at about 22 months.

I'm not saying that social disapproval is a good reason to stop, obviously. Do what is right for you. I'm also wondering why your dp feels the need to cite others' opinions, rather than owning his own views?