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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think 18 months is still a perfectly normal age to be breastfeeding?

55 replies

spottyscarf · 23/01/2012 08:34

DH has been making noises about this for a while but this morning he said it's 'weird' that I'm still BF DD2 at 18 months.

He even said he mentioned it to the other mums at DD1's gymnastics class and they thought it was weird too! He also said you never see other people BF toddlers, but I pointed out that noone ever sees me BF DD2 either really as I don't tend to do it out of the house.

Now I don't really care what anyone else thinks, as long as me and DD2 are happy about it. She only feeds morning and evening and is quite happy to go to bed without it if I'm not there.

But I wondered what the general consensus is- I think 18 months is still pretty young to be BF really, she's still a baby (ish!). Or is my viewpoint just skewed?

Btw, I'm happy to stop when she's ready but she doesn't show any signs of giving up at the moment.

OP posts:
ChunkyPickle · 23/01/2012 10:00

Hope not, because I still am - like you just overnight though (oh.. Ok, and occasionally during the day if he's being a grump)

I can't imagine why I'd stop, he likes it, it calms him, makes him happy and he really is still just a baby. I don't do it out of the house because he's too interested in what's going on to even ask for a feed, otherwise I'd be nervous, but would do it.

Original poster
spottyscarf · 23/01/2012 10:03

Thanks all- I agree with whoever said it's maybe unusual/uncommon but not abnormal.

Round here I think people seem to stop around 6-12 months, though I know a few people like me still feeding toddlers, which is why I think it feels normal to me.

Interesting point about the bottle- I will remind DH that DD1 didn't give up her bottle until she was 2, and BF is effectively the same thing!

OP posts:
PiedWagtail · 23/01/2012 10:30

YANBu - I fed my dd to 23 months and ds to just under 3. But after a year I only ever fed them at home and usually just morning and evening - they ate normally in the day and we had cuddles for comfort, not boob! Whatever you are dc are happy with :)

hackmum · 23/01/2012 11:40

The World Health Organisation recommends bfing until two years.

However, there are always plenty of people who starting muttering about it being "weird" or "unnatural" if you keep on bfing after 18 months. These are usually the same people who complain about "breastfeeding nazis" forcing everyone to breastfeed against their will.

Cutelittlecatlover · 23/01/2012 12:19

Yanbu, ds self weaned at 22 months, I was bereft! Lots of his little friends are still bf at age 2+ do I would say 18mo is definitely not unusual.

NinkyNonker · 23/01/2012 12:22

Perfectly normal, unusual yes but not abnormal. I just stopped feeding dd at around 18 months, and yes, most people I know didn't make 6 months but hey ho. Dh was completely supportive, he just thought it was the normal, natural thing to do.

If it works for you and your child then who cares. They're 18 months, not 18 years!

Highlander · 23/01/2012 12:27

Nah, both mine were BFd until 18 and 24 months.

After 12 months, they only really wanted a feed 2-3 times a day. Rarely in public.

LizziePizzie · 23/01/2012 12:30

Not at all - I was feeding my DD (19 months) this morning with a bottle and missed when we used to BF. We (and I mean we) came to a natural, untraumatic and unstressful end to that stage of our lives when she was 15 months old.

MrsClown · 23/01/2012 12:31

YANBU - I breast fed my son up to the age of 3 years. He only had it at night but still. The night before his 3rd birthday (he was going to start play group and be left on his own there the next day) I told him that after that night when he wanted 5 minutes (that is what he used to call it!) he would have to have a cuddle and a love. He was fine with that and never asked me again to be breast fed. I think that is a better way of stopping than letting them cry for it. He was old enough to understand. I told him he was a big boy then. I had a really brilliant health visitor and she gave me that advice. She didnt think breast feeding at 18 months was abnormal at all.

All the abuse that goes on towards children is abnormal, not what you are doing.

Dont worry what anyone else says, it is none of their business.

By the way, my son is now 18 years old so what the hell did it matter anyway. I still think I did the right thing carrying on with it.

Threeprinces · 23/01/2012 12:50

As others have said, it's not abnormal but it's not usual either. I bf my ds1 to 7 months and ds2 until 2yrs 3mths. I was aware soon after DS2 was one that people no longer expected me to bf, and I'd say after 18mths I kept it pretty quiet as I knew it wasn't the expected norm and people's reactions.

Threeprinces · 23/01/2012 12:53

Oops. People's reactions were starting to get negative so I didn't want to engage in that conversation despite being convinced I was doing the right thing. He lost interest by himself (same in fact as ds1 did at 7 mths).
Keep going as long as it suits you both.

nethunsreject · 23/01/2012 12:55

Normal and lovely.

I am still happy doing it in public, thought I am aware it is not the societal 'norm'. Noone has ever given me any looks or anythiing. Tbh, I doubt they either know nor care, and if they do then fuck 'em! Wink

Honeydragon · 23/01/2012 12:56

erm, no your totally weird, madness, you must stop the weirdness

I'm sure if your dh mentioned that you prefer brown sauce to red on sausage sandwiches at baby gymnastics some of them would agree that was weird too. Fact is if what you have on your sausages suits you than it really isn't anyone else's opinion.

blackeyedsusan · 23/01/2012 13:47

fed one til 13 m and gave up due to the next unsucessful pregnancy. Sad

ds gave up when 2 1/2years despite the midwife saying he would give up breastfeeding because he had a bottle at 3 days old. (due to incredibly bruised boobs)

NatashaBee · 23/01/2012 13:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bemybebe · 23/01/2012 13:57

Definitely not "normal" in my circle of friends (who usually stop at 9-12 months), but who cares?

NinkyNonker · 23/01/2012 14:56

Tbh, I fed in public when necessary up until she stopped, it was rarely necessary but if it was I wasn't going to not do it just because someone might have an issue with something that is a total non-issue in my book. I never had so much as an odd look, so I wouldn't worry.

Weird. What an odd word to describe the most natural thing in the world. Your dh needs to forge his own opinions and not just take on those of some random mother at gym club.

Feminine · 23/01/2012 15:01

Here in the states the guidelines suggest 2.

So I fed my second son till then, my daughter till she was 3

My first son I weaned at a year (in the UK then) I felt pressure to stop then I suppose.

YANBU

oh, and yesterday at 3 yrs 1 month, my DD tried to help herself again...I let her, no idea if she found very much though Grin

Alligatorpie · 23/01/2012 15:07

I stopped breast feeding my dd at 30 months, after she turned two, I rarely nursed her outside of th house, just at bedtime. In my circle of friends, this was pretty normal.

Llanbobl · 23/01/2012 16:18

I BF'd my DD til she was nearly 3 - just at bedtimes - I was at work all day and my DP was a SAHD so it was a nice way for her and me to 'connect' when I got home - bath, bedtime story and boobie milk ( as she referred to it)

No idea if it was the norm as I didn't discuss how we feed DD with other people (she's also veggie) DP was happy with the situation, my DD was happy with the situation, my DS who is 12 years older than DD wasn't bothered.

Would your DH refuse a bottle of milk to your DC? Guess not - so what is the difference? IMHO it's people who think that breasts are entirely sexual that make the fuss/find it "weird"

whoneedssleepanyway · 23/01/2012 16:40

Not normal in this country if by normal you mean usual, average or typical

but not weird or abnormal which is differing from the norm in an undesirable way...

I don't think I know anyone who was still breastfeeding at 18month so certain not the norm to me but nothing wrong with it

notcitrus · 23/01/2012 17:19

Another one saying unusual/uncommon but not abnormal.

For reference, I bfed to 14 months and when I saw the nurse for the 1yo checkup I was asked if ds was breastfed at all, and when I said yes, she rubbed out the 'no' tick in his book and congratulated me, as she hadn't been able to tick the 'yes' box on that page in the last two years!

soandsosmummy · 23/01/2012 17:32

YANBU I stopped at 23 months with DD. I'd have liked to go a full 2 years but got an infection and had to take medication not suitable for breastfeeding so stopped then much to her deep disappointment

SlinkingOutsideInFrocks · 23/01/2012 17:59

It's the UK that is weird, in that people seem to rush to stop breastfeeding there much sooner than other (developed and developing) countries.*

What you're doing is not weird.

*This is TIC before I get jumped on.

carabos · 23/01/2012 19:49

I bf DS 2 to 27 months, by which time it was purely a comfort thing. He is now 19 and has seen a doctor no more than half a dozen times in his life. He never vomited (until he discovered alcohol Grin) and seems to be immune to virtually everything.
I firmly believe, and no-one will ever convince me otherwise, that his outstanding constitution is as a result of extended breastfeeding.
His brother is almost the same, although was croupy as a toddler and he was bf only for 9 months (self weaned - greedy for solids).
Stick with it OP, it's the single most important thing you can do for your child's lifelong health.
Flame away formula feeders - I don't care.