Breastfeeding best for baby but VERY stressful for me and rest of family?! bit of a rant!

[glamourmama]

Does anyone else feel slightly exasperated at the demand of feeding on demand? My ds is 4 weeks old (yes I know he is still very young and Bf is still getting established etc) however I have a 7 year old dd who is feeling a bit pushed out of joint (totally understandable) she has gone from havin a happy energetic happy mum giving lots of positive attention to a sleep deprived grump who constantly has to break away to feed ds. She is playing up but I can tell she feels very insecure I'm not helping by snapping and getting cross (not helped by being exhausted from bf in the night every 2 hours. Sick of my house being a tip (no time to tidy up either) sick of looking like shit (no time to have more than a 5 minute shower) hair completely caked in dry shampoo. All I do is nag dp to do jobs then comlain they not done properly! And if I rested whilst my baby did I would never get done all that needs doing or have any time with dd at all! I love bf and enjoy sitting and snuggling ds whilst he feeds but wish I could still do other things mainly with dd. Does anyone else feel a huge difference between feeding first child and then have difficulties with subsequent children? Or do I just need to get a grip!

Feelin more positive, just done perfume lab with dd and I now smell of mint and eucalyptus (yum!) I then quuickly pumped out 2 oz of milk for her to giv him a quick bottle (I thought she mite be too young but I helped hold him and she was ok) iv decided to chill about the housework for a bit I am slightly ocd! No one comes round anyway I keep putting off visitors. Think my dm may be telling truth we probably slept thru due to bein swaddled in endless knitted blankets laid on our fronts in bonnets, or she probably couldn't hear our cries from where we were parked in prams left at the bottom of the garden! (Sorry but get sick of hearing bout good old days!)

Glad to hear your feeling better.

The good old days never existed, people just ignored their babies back then.

The house will get back to normal in time. Take good care of yourself and your lo's

I think going from 1 to 2 DC is hard, one DC always has to compromise or wait. Add in the sleep deprivation and hormonal crap - it's tough.

Personally I'd keep bf as much as possible because by the time you've factored in doing bottles and waiting for them to cool and sterilising and needing two hands - well

I think it's the situation more than the feeding.

Yes it is difficult, that is just the way it is and yes it is much harder with no.2 or 3 baby etc but that's how it is and it gets better and it takes time. Why are so many people so impatient about the first few weeks/months bf?! It takes time and perseverance in your situation - it is as simple as that.

IMO getting enough sleep is the most important thing, everything else is manageable then.

Bottles make sense if others can take over some of the feeds, dS2 was an appalling sleeper/feeder so that was the only way I got sleep.

And yes, the 2 nd Child's arrival is a huge shock and change.

Glad you're feeling better OP. I struggled to BF DD as had DS (3 yrs) staring and asking what I was doing. DD t

Sorry that was supposed to be a smiley!

Anyway when it got to the point that I was resenting hearing DD wake up or cry as I knew that meant it was me she needed, I had to save my sanity and salvage already damaged relationships with DH and DD, so I switched to FF. I know breast is best, I just felt myself going down a dark and dangerous road and wanted out. Selfish maybe, but once I had made the decision to switch, I felt relieved. I admire everyone who BF, whether
it's DC1, 2 or 22. It just didn't work for me and I think it's ok to say that.

However if you want to keep going, give yourself a break (I'm a bit OCD too) and remember that house work can wait and no-one ever pops round unexpectedly these days. People want to visit you and baby, not y

Inspect your house. I hate my phone!!!

I think I would rather midwives and health visitors came round and did a spot of cleaning and washing than inspect my latch and have a nosey to see how I'm healing down below! (Joking) well sort of! There are bad days and good days I suppose. And speakin to people on here defo helps its really nice that people want to give out advice, I hope I can give somebody some useful advice at some point!

Ah bless you. At 4 weeks everything will be chaos and I suspect your daughter would be feeling it regardless of feeding method. It depends whether stopping would weigh on your mind or not...it would mine so I would prob persevere for a while and let things settle down. But if it wouldn't, then stop with a clear conscience!

You'll get through with flying colours glamourmama, dont you worry, and you'll have lots of helpful advice for others soon, which will be much appreciated.
I share your contempt for the good ol days. Neglect is what i call it. Leaving babies outside out of earshot with a bottle of brandy laced milk.

Sleep deprivation is such a killer, DS1 was one of those BF babies that everyone says don't exist, fed for about 10mins every few hours, slept through (a 7 hour stretch) from a few weeks old. I had no idea how lucky I was!

DS2 was a shock of constant feeding, never sleeping and having DS1 (2 1/2yo) to look after as well.

In the early days DP did housework or it didn't get done, whenever DS2 wasn't attached I just concentrated on DS1. I had a kari-me and then a patapum which helped a lot. If you can just get through the next few weeks it will all get easier, you will get longer stretches between feeds and more sleep.

Get your partner to gve baby a bottle late evening while you have an early night. A 5 hr stretch of sleep makes all the difference. And my dd1 hated her new sister for a year, but they're great buddies now.

It'll get better, try the mixed feeding. X

I'm demand feeding a very hungry baby, who's 4 months now. The first 7/8 weeks were the hardest. He became pretty predictable after that and much faster. Last week, he slept for 10 hours in the night, broken only by a 20 min feed. It was wonderful. Hold in there, OP. It gets easier very soon.

What about looking for some games that you and she can do together whilst you're feeding? You could play board games or jigsaws or cards, or you could make jewellery etc. There's quite a lot you can do sitting down.

When the baby's a bit bigger and she can make him laugh, things will be a lot better. Point out to her that he thinks she's wonderful - encourage her to sing to him and read out loud to him and let her push the pram if you're all out together.