To ask you all

[hanaka88]

That if you see a child in tesco on the floor screaming and head banging with his mum trying to get him into some sort of safe restraint while being bitten and nipped to please walk round, don't try and squeeze your trollie and small child through the smallest gap imaginable past them, please ignore it, don't make comments about naughtiness and tantrums, tut or shake your head.

Please just try to understand that it's hard enough watching your child have a total sensory overload and meltdown, harming himself without other people making it more stressful.

I know it's inconvenient and I'm very sorry to impose on your shopping trip, but sometimes I need to buy milk.

Sorry you've had a bad experience :/

i tend to think...thank god it is not me.

Online shopping is my best advice

Me too mchappy, I just feel glad it's not me fir once

Some people are absolutely fantastic, like the elderly couple who situated around me for ages the other day not knowing what to do to help. But if people can't understand I wish they'd just ignore us. I understand people looking, but I really just wish people would just stop being so horrible.

Sounds like you need a hug and a or even a

I do online shop. But sometimes we just run out of something we need

Dithered not situated... Auto correct

I always try and give a smile to the mum which hopefully says... yup been there, hope it stops soon, have a hug from me.

Sometimes you must need to get out too, I do loads of online shopping but sometimes it's nice to go into the shop yourself you can't just stay in all the time in case they have a meltdown.

Sorry you have had a bad experience I have been there unfortunately and it's horrid

I, myself appreciated the lady who told my DD off for biting me during one of her meltdowns as it shocked her enough to start calming down. She focussed on the 'naughty lady' who told her off and settled down enough to carry on shopping. Toddler tantrum at its most horrific for us. I dread to think how she would be if there were other issues too (ASD or suchlike)

I do need to get out sometimes. It's so hard we have had that much outreach and advice and I do everything I possibly can to help him but sometimes he just has a meltdown.

Well what are people supposed to do? Avoid the aisle and not walk round you?

I said walk around me. Not try to squeeze past me for some unknown reason. I was near the edge, massive gap one side, tiny gap the other. His 'meltdowns' are now suspected epileptic fits unfortunately, if you saw someone fitting would you squeeze past them?

I'm so sorry you had a bad experience. I'd like to ask something and hope that it'll be taken in the spirit that it's meant as I know it's going to sound bad!

I know every child/parent/situation is different but I'm always struck by wanting to help but not knowing what to do or indeed if I should even do anything. I don't want to stress anyone further by approaching but I always feel awful just walking past.

I guess I'm asking if it's generally best to smile supportively and move on or to ask the parent if I can help in any way even if it's just beating of judgy shoppers with a pointy stick

olympia helpful

If someone said to me 'do you need any help?' id probably decline but it would make me feel a little bit better tbh. It might also give me the opportunity to explain to someone what's going on. I don't really fancy trying to explain to a tutter.

I'd glad you asked Nixea, I wanted to ask the same thing. I know every situation is different and I wouldn't like to mortify anyone, but it's good to think that some people wouldn't feel infringed upon when I offer help.

My daughter is TWELVE and has severe sn, sld, asd etc IT is really quite obvious she is very disabled. Anyway, she also has sensory oevrloads whilst in Tesco (it's usually tesco, she seems to hate tesco :o) and I get so many tut tuts and comments.

I think people are a bit sheltered tbh. I mean who would want to make comment at all? who cares, at all? It's bizarre behaviour

I usually just smile sympathetically and say something supportive like "I hope your day gets better" or "it's hard sometimes being a mum isn't it".

I don't understand either. I've never felt the urge to comment on someone else's child to be honest. I mean, if I was screaming and him and dragging him about then maybe, but all I do is try to get him into a wrap restraint and rock him to try and calm him. (whilst making a fool of myself trying to sing)

At him not and him... I don't know what's going on with auto correct today :(

sometimes I will say 'oh i ahve one of those at home' in a jokey sympathetic manner but I can't understand why people have to be so nasty and spiteful.

If I see it happening I tend to just say 'we've all been there, do you need anything?'

if the kids find it really so distressing to go into Tesco and it happens frequently, why are they being taken their time and again to get distressed?

no judging, just curious really. Surely nothing is that desperate that you cant nip to the corner shop, or get someone to watch him for 10 mins, or just plain wait until they are at school