being called 'mum' in Sainsbury's

[joben]

AIBU to think it was a bit strange (and tactless) for the cashier on Sainsbury's to repeatedly address me as 'mum', e.g. did, you get everything you wanted, Mum? How many bags did you use Mum? Have you got a nectar card Mum? I didn't have any children with me, and the only suggestion that I might be a Mum, was the bag of chicken nuggets on the conveyor belt? Or is the stress of motherhood really that obvious from my appearance?!

I think 'Mum' is a form of 'Ma'am' when being served. I am called 'Madam' sometimes in all sorts of shops and really dislike being called 'Love' or 'Ducks'. On another post, I wrote typed that I'd been to Asda and the cashier kept calling me 'Darlin''. It grated on me because I see it as being too familiar and I didn't know her. Anyway, I was concentrating on watching the customer's screen and packing at the same time.

At the end of the transaction, I asked her if she calls everyone 'Darlin''. Her last address was 'Goodbye, Madam'. I was satisfied.

In a local, small Boots yesterday, I was queuing at one counter and heard an assistant call someone else 'Luvee'. Just in case she were to serve me, I planned my script. Unfortunately, I didn't have to use it. I would have enjoyed my performance.

Ursula, funny you should say that, when I was travelling in SE Asia, in my yoof, lots of Indonesians thought I was Lady Di

Maybe it's one of those uneducated yufs (or older) who have no idea what m'am/madam means and actually thinks it is pronounced mum.

Better than "love" from a total stranger at least 20 years younger than you, and you not even being an OAP.

at "do you look like the queen"

Is it just me that wonders why it sounds quite "normal" and ok for a shop assistant/service provider to say "Sir" but Madam or Ma'am just sounds weird?

That's cos all white people look the same, innit.

Lueji, she was an Afro-Caribbean woman of around 55-60ish, didn't appear to have an accent, but I guess she may have thought Mum and ma'am were pretty much the same.

In our local Sainsbury's, all the male staff call you "madam". But all the female staff over the age of about 30 have recently (past 3-4 months) all started using "love" and "pet". They didn't do it before, and now they're all doing it .

Bloody hell maybe she thinks you're ghostly Di getting some micro chips in for Dodi down at Sainsbos!

Joben

Well, they look the same to us so we all look the same to them, don't we? Unless, as in your case, we have blonde hair.

My lateDH had shoulder length, fading hair and a lengthening beard. In Morocco, he was called Moses and Ali Baba; in Vietnam, he was thought to be a Ho Chi Minh reincarnation and in Swaziland, much to the hilarity of onlookers, he was addressed as Santa Claus! I wear my hair the way the Queen does and have a slightly similar way of speaking so people think I look lkike her but my clothes are certainly different and the Queen doesn't seem to have spots, does she?

Oh and "RuleBrittania", I'm quite old fashoned (e.g. don't like uninvited people in shops/banks etc. calling me by my first name) but I don't mind being called love, darlin' or anything like that.
Maybe I'm odd

What do you mean about the spots?

Could it have been Mem, which is Madam in India?

Salmotrutta

I don't like being called by my Christian name in a business environment. If I am, I ask where we have met and I can't remember his / her name. Makes me a bit cross. In business etc, I am Mrs Rule Britannia.

Have come across it a lot in London.

Bring back 'respect'!

I expect you were wearing Mumboots or some other giveaway piece of clothing.

Maybe she thought you were a 'Man'

Rule
If you don't mind me saying so, you sound a bit scary.

I don't refer to my Christian name because I'm an atheist. It's my first name.

IsMeyes.... I am always weirded outby that cashier in exeter sainsburys too! She's very sweet thoughbut I always just think 'eh??!!'

Or my given name which may suit you better.

Where I live oop North, if the cashier doesn't call me love, I think s/he is being rude.

I work in a cc and we have to ask if we can use first names, I would estimate that 1 in 200 people say no, we get the odd 'you can call me what you like darlin'. I do think it's your prerogative to be given the option of what you want to be called.

HV and midwives calling me 'mummy' after I had ds got on my nerves though.

OP, was she maybe saying 'hun'?

How old are you OP? was the person much younger than you?

I was thinking were you in east london when i read your post. My dad is from there and he calls women older than him mum, if he doesn't know their names. It is (used to be) apparently quite a cockney thing to do. I remember being told to call my friends mums mum and their nans nan. Like a big knees up mother braahn type cockney community thing. I always felt uncomfortable with it tbh.

if they were white and working class it could be a cultural thing.