to think that IRL most women are attracted to power/ confidence in men...

[RevoltingPeasant]

... and not physical attractiveness?

You always get threads on here with people drooling over various celebs on the basis of their looks, but AIBU to think that it's right that most women are not that visual, and that what is sexy is someone's self-confidence?

Confidence is good. Power can be attractive but more important is humility and humour.

Power. No. Not interested. I dislike ambitious men.

I go for physical attractiveness and similar taste in music/life outlook before all else. I have my own house/car etc so I don't look to a man to provide any of that.

Confidence, within reason, certainly not cockiness or arrogance. Sexual confidence yes for sure.

Sardine, yes also

Don't ask much, do I....

Kindness is the most important quality.

I'm not bothered about confidence. I actively dislike the notion of power over other people.

Looks are still important to me, in addition to confidence and power.

There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance

I find intelligence attractive very much so it turns me on.

However I do prefer classic good looks too but I'd not end up with a thick bloke. Did once he was a wife beater.

Confidence, yes, power, no.
What does it for me is competance. A man that is good at something, is very attractive.

chippy yes. Especially if he's good with his hands.

I love that my husband is powerful. He has used drive, luck, opportunity and intellect to get where he is. This is wonderfully sexy.

I do not understand why people automatically assume power = arrogance. My husband is not arrogant by any stretch of the imagination. Yes, he does hold the lives of his emplyees and business associates in his hand but he uses his power responsibly. He is honourable beyond words and is the most generous person I know and he has made a difference to many people's lives with his philanthripic efforts. His power is used for good. I'm glad. And yes, I would be lying if I said his position of power is not attractive to me.However, when I met him I had no clue who he was or what he did. It was his good looks that I was attracted to, then when I got to know him it was sense of humour and wonderful ability to laugh at himself which had me hooked.

Can't imagine ever being attracted to a person who had no confidence even if he looked like Michael Fassbender.

Well it would seem like we all like different things then, which is just as well.

Big yes to both personally, although there has to be a certain attraction physically too

Or maybe it's charisma and confidence that I like. Not sure about power, exactly

I also agree that power does not have to equal arrogance.

Absolutely.

I made a huge mistake with my first husband. He was a weak person who put down others to make himself feel better and always bigged up his accomplishments. Around the time I realised what a twat he was I realised he'd never amount to anything and that actually this was important to me.

I was first attracted to DH for his humour and intelligence (we were friends). Then I fancied him. But I wouldn't have married him if he wasn't powerful and confident. It's subtle and it's in his own way; he's the kind of guy that gets up in the middle of the night to change nappies rather than make millions. Still there's a sense of security in knowing he is successful and is quietly ensuring that me and the kids are looked after. It's not showy or arrogant, he's just a real man, knows it and has nothing to prove.

I think looks only get someone that initial glance (unless the glancer is as deep as a saucer of milk) but it is other things that truly attract you.

Someone can have the nicest looking face in the world, but if they're a horrible person - they're ugly.

What attracted me to my husband was the very thing that has given me so much trouble over the years his strength. See, my dad, bless him, is such a weak man. So controlled. Mardy. I hate that. I grew up loathing his weakness. Willing him to just strap on a bloody pair. Weakness in a man is repulsive to me, I think because I lost all respect for my dad because of how weak he is. So when I met a really strong, forceful, assertive man - I snapped him up!

But there's a downside to it

agree with revolting
power, confidence, sense of humour coupled with the most overriding quality - kindness!!
I'd shag anyone with that combo.

Yes, look at Sarkozy

OurPlanetNeptune that's made me feel all warm inside. You so clearly love your husband it's lovely. I hope he talks about you with equal passion.

yes, in real life the thing that most attracted me to DH was his ambition, drive, confidence that he'ld get there and lack of negativity.

You can be confident, kind and generous...it would be odd to assume otherwise. I like to think I am, for example. DH certainly is.

sunshineandbooks thank you.

I have always been attracted to self confident, ambitious men. My dh is very ambitious, confident, but NOT arrogant. I always knew he would do something worthwhile in his life as he is an eternal optimist
Women do like powerful ambitious men, how do you explain the success of Simon Cowell with his harem of ex girlfriends. I remember watching Elle Macpherson on Loose Women. She said that she had a massive crush on Simon Cowell. Her attraction to Simon Cowell is obviously not due to his looks, so it must be due to the power and confidence he exudes.

I am attracted to funny men who can make decisions and do housework without whingeing.

yy bibbity

Oh, a big yes to housework with no whinging.