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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed with what the t.a at school said to me

71 replies

liveinazoo · 20/01/2012 17:07

when i picked up my ds from school today the teaching assistant shouted me over in front of all the other parents and demanded to know why i hadnt handed in the money for my ds to watch a pantomime in school(the letter we had stated it was a request would youi like your child to see a child friendly pantomime performed in school by a theatre group.voluntary contribution of £4)
i replied he didnt want to see it and she responded in a very loud voice most of the other kids in his class were attending and why wasnt i let him go.i repeated he doesnt want to and as such im not paying for it.she snapped at me i shall have to speak to the head about this.i replied you do that and walked away.AIBU to be annoyed?

OP posts:

Dustinthewind · 21/01/2012 10:50

That is the point about the contribution being voluntary, you can't exclude people who haven't paid. All you can do is cancel the activity if you don't collect enough to pay for it.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 21/01/2012 11:01

She was rude - I would have said 'Excuse me! Who do you think you are talking to (like that)?' but you do need the 'back in your box' expression that goes with it Then followed it up with 'Please do feel free to tell the Head how rude & unprofessional you have been, it will save me the trouble. If x's teacher wishes to discuss the pantomime with me, I'm sure she will'.

gallifrey · 22/01/2012 16:52

well in my daughter's school you pretty much get the impression that if you don't pay the voluntary contribution then you don't go! I might try it next time and see what happens!!

seeker · 22/01/2012 17:12

Who would pay for the trip, then?

ClothesOfSand · 22/01/2012 17:26

Seeker, I get really annoyed about school trips (although never tell the school). The cost of DD's primary school trips last year meant that we couldn't go on holiday as a family. This year my parents are paying for DD's trips, which they can't really afford either.

It feels as if we are paying the school to do things with DD that we would like to have done with her ourselves. And yes, I do think some primary teachers prefer taking the kids out to a pantomime to sitting in a classroom and teaching them maths.

Dustinthewind · 22/01/2012 17:33

'And yes, I do think some primary teachers prefer taking the kids out to a pantomime to sitting in a classroom and teaching them maths.'

You really haven't got a clue how stressful a school trip is for those in charge, have you?
How much planning and checking and counting and pre-empting and buckets and first-aiders and on the spot problem-solving and dealing with parental input before after and during.
Give me maths in a secure environment with easily accessible toilets any day. But the way funding, the curriculum and education in general is going, it will be all in-house soon and no need to do anything to disturb Gove's plans for the learning of good hard facts. It will be IWB and everything leading towards producing the worker of the future.
Interesting and diverse trips will once again be limited to private education and those who can pay.

Feenie · 22/01/2012 17:44

And yes, I do think some primary teachers prefer taking the kids out to a pantomime to sitting in a classroom and teaching them maths.

You are NUTS if you genuinely think that's true. Going out with 30 children and making sure you look after them as well as you would your own child is an incredible amount of trust and responsibility to handle, not too mention the paperwork and preparation involved. A nice, safe Maths lesson doesn't even compare. So please get the idea that teachers organise trips for an easy ride right out of your head.

seeker · 22/01/2012 22:17

"Seeker, I get really annoyed about school trips (although never tell the school). The cost of DD's primary school trips last year meant that we couldn't go on holiday as a family"

Bloody hell, you must either have the most expensive school trips ever, or go on really cheap holidays!

CupOfBrownJoy · 23/01/2012 16:54

"And yes, I do think some primary teachers prefer taking the kids out to a pantomime to sitting in a classroom and teaching them maths."

HaHaHaaaaa you're quite possibly completely mad. Yes, spending the day being responsible for 45 to 60 screaming kids in an unknown environment is sooo much fun!

I don't need to lie down in a darkened room with a cold compress and a stiff drink at all when we get back!

IndigoBell · 23/01/2012 16:59

Bloody hell, you must either have the most expensive school trips ever, or go on really cheap holidays! - Seeker, I reckon school trips cost the same amount as a cheap camping holiday.

I have 3 kids, they each go on 3 trips a term......

Hulababy · 23/01/2012 20:05

IndigoBell - your children go on 9 trips a year each? Wow! That is an awful lot. Where do they go all the time?

dandelionss · 23/01/2012 20:09

But the school isn't alowed to exclude a child from something like this because their parents haven't paid.So most likely your DS will be forced to watch it anyway.

IndigoBell · 23/01/2012 22:20

Hullababy - This year they have been to a West End show! Tower of London, the zoo, the science museum (x2), a country park, ice skating......

(Actually I think only 2 trips each per term, not 3 )

lurkinginthebackground · 23/01/2012 22:44

I think you should have handed in the reply slip, then the T.A. wouldn't have had to speak to you. Having said that there is no need for her to be rude and she should have spoken to you in private.

I too do not know any teacher who would rather plan a trip to see a pantomine than just get the kids to do maths. The work involved is uncomparable.

exoticfruits · 23/01/2012 23:00

She was rude, but is your DC not doing to be a bit upset when they are the only one to miss it. Have you asked who is going to look after your DS? All classes and staff will be in the hall watching. Maybe she was upset because she thinks she is the one who will have to stay in the classroom with him.
Any school that I have been to as a supply teacher has always had every child watching.

exoticfruits · 23/01/2012 23:02

And yes, I do think some primary teachers prefer taking the kids out to a pantomime to sitting in a classroom and teaching them maths.'

People who don't teach really don't have a clue-otherwise they wouldn't make such a silly statement!!

exoticfruits · 23/01/2012 23:05

It is in school anyway-not a trip out. I suspect it will be DS in the classroom with the TA who will have to miss it-unless the older classes are not going and he can sit in a junior class. Wouldn't he rather be in the hall with his class than in a strange classroom?

rushelle · 23/01/2012 23:18

School trips can be a nightmare to organise, but the biggest expense is the price of the transport. It'd be great to take kids to Chester when learning about Romans the Museum for ancient Eygpt, the botanical gardens or tropical world for making plants grow or The theatre. But even if we find venues that are free the coaches work out at about £15 a child. Kids learn so much in a different environment and a lot of children never get to go to these places unless it's with school. But trips are so expensive, and the risk assessments are such a nightmare the children don't get the opportunities they deserve.

lurkinginthebackground · 23/01/2012 23:20

Op- do you really want to single your child out and let him sit in another classroom?
I don't think the T.A will sit with him, unless he is the only child in the entire school who isn't watching it.
I think exoticfruits is right, he will have to go to the juniors and do work in there.

On the other hand in my dcs primary school the PTA footed the bill for things like this but then again they too rely on parental support.

exoticfruits · 23/01/2012 23:23

I suppose he might sit in the office. Have you really given much thought to what they will do with him?

Hulababy · 24/01/2012 20:44

That's a lot of trips IndigoBell! Must cost a fortune.

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