I'm a new poster on here but have been a long time lurker! Hello!
I had separated from my husband in 2010 although we were still seeing each other attending relate and I hoped that our time apart would allow us some space to work things out. I became pregnant when we had been separated for 3 months and although terrified but wanted to keep the baby. The children issue was something myself and my husband had disagreed on for years before, I had a few miscarriages and gave up hope really, I was also due to my childhood experiences very concerned about motherhood.
When I was 8 weeks pregnant and becoming hopeful that the pregnancy would continue he dropped the bombshell that he was seeing someone else and planned to continue to do so . He met her 3 days before I told him I was pregnant and had been very off with me since then which when questioned he put down to being worried that something would go wrong with the pregnancy and he couldn't get too involved . I am not proud of my behaviour during the next few months but I ended up begging and pleading with him to try again with me . Having a family with a mum and dad together for my little one was really important to me as I suppose I was trying to prove that I wouldn't be making the same mistakes as my mother did . He was still at this time telling me he still loved me and was just confused and " doing a business deal" with this woman.
I ended up moving back in with him when I was 22 weeks pregnant which was a disaster TBH.
Now a year later lots has come out. He told the other woman a week before I moved back in that I was pregnant. He said he had not told her this before as he thought I would have a termination and was just leading him on. He also said that we were just living together so he could "support me" and that they could maybe get bank together in the future. He did break contact with her for 6 weeks but she kept trying to be in contact with him. I found a text from her around that time saying she wished she was with him so he could give her a big cuddle . He says they were in constant contact the whole time I was pregnant apart from those 6 weeks and this continued until 8 weeks after our little one was born when he left me with a screaming colicky baby although he has been living on his own
Now of course I am not absolving the arse of his part in this and cannot believe anyone can possibly behave like this ( btw he is now realising the grass is not greener on the other side and is bleating that he has totally fucked up and still is in love with me..shame NOT)
I am however also filled with rage at this woman, I have no doubt he has spun her serious amounts of bollocks , but she really is old enough ( much older than the husband) and has children of her own to know better ?
After being pregnant and having a newborn no way would I think that it's perfectly fine to be having a relationship with the father to be. I would also realise that undoubtedly the mother to be and new mother needs support and help. If she had just backed off for a year then they had got back together and rode off into the sunset I guess I wouldn't have been so bothered but she didn't and I cannot believe that she honestly thought I did not care about what was going on! She is also now demanding she gets to see my child and her children are asking when they can see him and have him over to there house!!! Husband has only had access with me present until recently as I was breastfeeding , she apparently refuses to believe that my LO won't take a bottle ( he wouldnt until last week!)
I know I need to be very careful about deflecting the blame away from idiots behaviour. But as far as I am concerned I feel she has also behaved disgustingly, am also slightly concerned as to the mental state of anyone who after a 4 month relationship wouldn't run a mile from
The very messy situation that is a pregnant ex from a recently separated relationship .
AIBU to think this woman is lower than a snakes belly and have my skin crawl at the thougt of her around my baby that she hasn't appeared to give a flying feck about as long as she is "happy"