To leave the kids "Home Alone"

[StickyVicky]

Yes or no answer needed really.

I am due to go out tonight for a birthday do. Babysitter has pulled out last minute and there will be upset if I don't go.

I have left the kids alone before and they've always been fine, however I've never left them late at night. This would involve leaving them from 7pm until around midnight.

They are 11 and 13. No friends come back here, I can guarantee they will be where I left them when I get home (xbox and laptop).

However I am aware that midnight is pushing it somewhat. So over to the jury - is it really irresponsible for me to leave them alone tonight?

Sorry x post. I'd do it if not turning up was going to cost me my job or similar.

agree with aldi - for some reason I think being back by 11 would be oK but midnight too late. No idea why
Also, if you do this once, they will expect it from now on - are you prepared for that?

Can't you just go for a drink?

I wouldn't want them up til 12am tbh

If you had a babysitter they'd have them in bed at 10pm I bet

That's the difference, they'll get tired & argue at that time of night

And do you want to come back sloshed at midnight & have to sort them out?

I'm fairly sure that at that age on a Friday I'd have been up til fairly late reading or whatever.

or take myself off to bed - what I mean is I don't think my parents enforced a bedtime unless I did have to be up the next day

I've done it. I wouldn't have done if the kids weren't happy about it, and I offered a babysitter (they said no thanks). We phoned part way through the evening, and they know how to phone us.

All went well .

My two are 10 and 13. I think DD2 would find 5 hours too long the first time at night.
She's quite happy being left for alone for an hour in the dark.
I think after 5 hours she and DD1 would get on each others nerves a bit.
8pm till 11 which is the latest DD2 goes to bed, I'd be tempted.

Depends on the maturity of the kids.

Can you trust they won't burn the house down or smash the kitchen up?

Can you trust the eldest to call you if they are unsure of anything?

Will they end up in a big scrap?

If they are sensible then yes. If not then no.

What I do is I always put the eldest in charge. What I mean is she is the boss. What she says goes. If the youngest doesn't like it, he can complain to me after the event. During....he does as his sister tells him. She says jump, he says how high.

I would go out, but maybe later and come back earlier. I was babysitting for my sister and brother from 11, with no instructions from my parents on what to do or not do, no phone in the house and no idea exactly which pub they were in, often until 1 or 2 a.m. From 13, I was babysitting overnight for my neighbour's 3 kids, until as late as 3 p.m., again with no contact details or phone in the house.
What you are thinking of doing sounds much more organised, so go and enjoy yourself!

If all is well on the night then it will be fine. if the brown stuff hits the fan then at 13 your eldest is too young to be left in charge of an 11 yr old - simple as. check out the various police and social worker websites. yes we have all babysat under 16 and its fine if nothing happens but if it does you can be held responsible. sorry i just wouldnt risk it. see if they can go over to friends for a sleepover or if someone that you know can help out. its all about those horrible 5 mins when the washing machine blows up or there's a power cut or worse so even though i know my kids are fine at this age i also know i wouldnt leave them. sorry - its probably not what you want to hear!

I'm thinking it would be fine but with a few considerations:-

You're not to far away, good, but are you planning on getting very drunk?

Do they get on ok?

Is there someone they can call late at night should they need to?

My 13yo would be massively embarrassed if we insisted on still having a babysitter for her. 13 is an age when responsible teenagers can babysit themselves for younger children. We first dispensed with a babysitter when the DC were 11 and 7, but then we don't live in the UK and children are encouraged here to behave more responsibly and to develop independence gradually precisely because they're then less likely to have accidents when they're finally allowed to do something for themselves. Britain is gradually cultivating a neurotic culture, unfortunately, which to be honest seems to be more motivated by worries about what the neighbours/police/MN will think than any logical concerns. Pity.

My mum and dad used to leave me and my sister, for that long every Saturday night. I was 13 and my sister was 9. They were about a 15 minute walk away, and no mobiles then. We used to love it as we could use the really good record player (showing my age here ) in the living room while they were out. (The Dirty Dancing album was played A LOT)!

I would say they would be fine as long as they're sensible and not likely to panic. I think if dd1 is sensible enough at that age I'd probably leave my 2.

I would just check that a neighbour is 'on call' and that your mobile is on and they have the house phone number. I wouldn't stay after midnight.

I would think that a 13yr old would be mortified to have a babysitter. From the information that you give I would say fine. When I belonged to a circle people dropped out around that age and on the one occasion I sat for an older DC I didn't like it, they were up all evening.

I shouldn't expect that is is what she wants to hear mummymeister and she would do well to ignore it. Why would a washing machine blow up if it hasn't been on all day? Leave a torch-if they get a power cut get them to phone you and you can go home. (I expect the worse is the axe murder just waiting to strike)
Do not fear SS or the police-I would be able to give them my reasons for doing it and my safety precautions. (unplug the washing machine if really worried!)
Of course you are responsible for your own DCs when not there-it is what a parent does.

If they're both sensible and mature enough, then I wouldn't ahve a prob;em at all.

Yes YABU

I wouldn't, but if you really wanted to could you not go for 3 hours, say until 10?

I did at this age but I made sure I that I drove to where I was going (so I could get home quickly), that the place I was at was within 10 minutes drive of home and that I didn't drink. I also phoned every hour.

Also at the beginning I came home at 10.30pm, but now they are older 12 and 14 I will come home around midnight.

I'd started babysitting DB (5 1/2 yrs younger) by 13. Not often in the evenings, but on occasion.

DM's "Rule" was that he was to be in bed by 7.30.

After the first disasterous try, my rule was PJs by 7.45 and if you see the car then straight to bed and make out they woke you up by checking on you!

As long as your elder one is sensible enough to be flexible and not start WW3 (like I did with DB's bedtime!) then they'll be fine. Get a DVD in for them maybe?

And unless you have a Yale lock make sure to remind them to take the key out of the inside of the lock before turning in, or you'll have to wake them when you get home!

Hmmmmmmmmm I don't think I would. My dc are 14, 12 and 9 and i do leave them for an hour or so if I need to do a food shop or when i got to weight watchers, but I wouldn't leave them that late at night.

For me it's not really that I don't trust them, more that I don't want dd to have to feel responsible, especially if something does go wrong.

Not from 7 till midnight.

My parents left us alone in the evenings when my brother and I were under 10. Is that considered child abuse?

That is extreme but I agree a bit with Tenebrist: what's with the paranoia? At 13 and 11 kids should have some kind of responsibility.

YANBU. Just take some precautions e.g. mobile phone, what to do in emergency, and I like suggestion leaving later coming home bit earlier.