To tell them to stick it up their ********?

[ashamednamechanger]

Have been on preschool committee now for about a year. In that time I have done, what I think is my best, to help out as much as possible especially regaqrding fundraising. For exmple...

I organised a jumble sale (majority of stuff was mine). We made about £100, but committee complained that it was a paltry amount, even though it took me long time to organise.
I applied for us to enter a well known children's TV character comp and asked the manager to help the children draw a picture for the entry requirements. It ended up with ME having to do the picture AND paying myself for special delivery to make sure it got there on time....we didn't win!
Christmas Fayre was cancelled and I felt, and still do, that it was MY fault for not organising it myself. When I put down dates for the Fayre to take place strangley all other committee members were @busyI refused to do it all on my own, so I'm the bad guy.
Since last committee meeting 2 weeks ago I have paid for with my own money 500 business cards which I have posted through letterboxes in local area. I didn't mind this as I felt it was my way of showing support for the preschool.
I have also spent 2 whole weeks researching websites and publishing adverts on online websites when I could have been spending time with my DCs.
However, manager gave me her personal phone number, not business number, and is now complaining that all these people keep phoning her wanting to put their children in her preschool (sorry but I thought that was the whole point).

Have tried to set up new fundraising activities, but just keep getting blocked all the time even though I have put so many hours of my own time into it.
Feel utterly useless now and just want to tell them to stick it....AIBU?

UANBU

Are people asking YOU to do this stuff?

Yanbu, back away. If you let people take advantage, they certainly will. I'm sure your voluntary and organisational skills could be put to good use elsewhere, and be appreciated.
Cut them loose, you'll feel better for it.

Would love to back out but my youngest still goes there every day.
I already feel uncomfortable when I drop him off. The manager just seems very off hand, as though I should be out there bringing in money for her business, not doing my food shop at Sainsburys!
It wouldn't be so bad but the other committee members always seem to have really urgent pressing stuff they can't get out of.....except me.

Just say, or put in writing "I will no longer be doing any committee duties or organising for personal reasons". If the manager wants to get the hump, let her! She has to be professional and cannot take it out on your DC

Being on a committee isn't compulsory - just resign and let them and the manager get on with it.

Time to walk away. Resign, citing personal reasons and apologise that you just don't have the time any more. Then cut all links to the committee. It sounds like you would be a great asset to somewhere that needs fundraising, but that needs to come with them being grateful for your time and effort.

Just quit.

You don't HAVE to do this. Drop your child off, pick them up. Job done.

If they get arsy about it - tell them that you are sick to death of whatever you do not being good enough, so you've decided it's best to just leave them to it, because you just don't need the hassle.

Whatever you do will not be good enough. For something that doesn't matter - it's just not worth it!

Meant to add - you don't owe them anything. So what if the manager acts like she wants you to be dedicating your whole life to her business. Fuck her.

It sounds as though the committee don't pull their weight, communication is very poor and I think you should resign as you are frustrated BUT some of this is of your own making. Sending out advertisising with the manager's personal mobile number on is not acceptable at all, she is entitled to privacy. Was the leaflet agreed, proof read and approved by the committee or did you just undertake the whole project yourself? Likewise the competition entry - was this something you decided to do and foisted on the manager? They are often under paid and over worked and it may not have fitted with her planning. Sometimes with volunteering it is easy to get carried away - with the best intentions - and not work together as a team. Something to consider for next time perhaps.

Resign. You are not obligated to be on the committee. Don't feel guilty or anything like that. It isn't your company to worry about.

You've had good advice from everyone. You know what to do.

Quit!

Why are you on a fund raising comittee for a private business?

"It wouldn't be so bad but the other committee members always seem to have really urgent pressing stuff they can't get out of.....except me."

Time to get some then-permanently!

I doubt it is a private business. Some preschools do operate on a not for profit business AND charity basis simultaneously. I would imagine this is just a straightforward charity which employs a manager and staff - who are accountable to the committee, but as the committee probably has a high turnover of members (as most people will only be involved while their children attend the preschool), some managers can get a bit difficult.

I think you are reading too much into this. Committee weren't happy with £100 - they were probably disappointed with other parents, not you. No ne did the kids picture - it was your idea so they prob thought you wanted to do it. Boss is unhappy you put her home phone number on adverts - understandable! You need to look at the facts. Sounds like other parents aren't too bothered. Unless you want to do it yourself, then quit.

YANBU.

But one thing that's struck me is that you're not afraid to put time & effort in to developing ideas, organising events and getting off your bum to make things happen. So my suggestion would be to turn all of this positive stuff in to something which works for you and that you'd get paid for!

So you got all those cards printed, distributed and she got loads of business leads out of it - so she's going to make $$. Next stop you! :)

Thanks provincial lady, I was thrown when she said " as though I should be out there bringing in money for her business".

You're all right, of course. I really should not take it so personally.
Yes, I think I will put my energy into making the money for myself too. At least if I make a balls up of that, the only person to be dissapointed will be myself.
I just really, really hate it when my efforts to help anyone, in whatever area, are not appreciated. It just feels like I am wasting my time.

I work for a very small struggling local charity. We would love to have you as a volunteer! Seriously, if you want to do this there are other worthwhile places that would love you to volunteer.

You still helped to make a difference ashamed so you didn't completely waste your time - you brought in some money and you helped bring in some new children. But next time you volunteer - and there are loads of worthwhile charities out there - do some research beforehand on the way they operate and decide whether you can work that way too. I speak from loooooooong experience

Walk away and have no regrets.

YANBU.

I've recently resigned from the PTA, not just because it was a thankless task, I expected that really. But because all the effort was just totally unappreciated and blocked by others, others who were happy to spend the money. I still feel bad I gave it up, I feel like I've let my kids down, but you know what? I haven't. They haven't really noticed!

The straw that broke the camel was when I raised £500 through my Dad's business, the chair didn't even send an email to thank HIM (I didn't particularly want thanks) and in the newsletter that went out she'd put a breakdown of fundraising, and next to mine had written "Every little helps". Grr. Silly really, but a THANK YOU is all that's needed, £500 isn't a little amount, and why comment? If someone gives £1 they should be thanked.

Do what you can do, don't fret over what you can't and if you're to continue go into it eyes wide open, you know that you're making a difference even if others can't see it. Also, learn to say no.

Its a shame. I am a supported of committees and PTA's, always wanted to be involved, but my perception is jaded to what my fellow non PTA parents always thought... more trouble than its worth, too many power trips.

Try finding some smaller charities to fundraise for, I'm in the process of getting involved with a local Children's Hospice, and already, though I've done nothing, they make me and anything I do feel valued... its easy to do, and it goes a very very long way.

Have you posted about this before OP? There was a similar thread with lots of good advice on it. I've tried to find it but no luck, maybe it was in chat.
People can only take advantage if you let them, be strong.