Meeting friend in pub - who's the unreasonable one?

[AgentProvocateur]

Obviously I think that I am being perfectly reasonable!

It's a bit hypothetical now, because her DH has been delayed in London, so we're not going out. But...

I had arranged to meet my friend for a drink tonight. Bear in mind, we're in Glasgow, it's freezing and has been sleeting on and off all day. We were going to go to All Bar One - it's on a corner and has floor-to-ceiling windows all round (this is relevant).

We were meeting at 8, but she wanted to meet me outside and got a bit arsey when I said that there was no way I was standing outside in the cold in full view of everyone in the pub. She thinks it's odd to go into a pub yourself and order a drink. I think it's odd to wait outside. Over to you.

YANBU

She is.

YANBU

People meet inside pubs all the time! Madness.

A lot of people don't like going into a bar alone so it's more a case of neither is unreasonable just do things a different way. If you don't want to be the one waiting outside just turn up 10 minutes late, might make her wait inside next time!

Or if you are there first text to say "sat inside see you soon"

She is.

All Bar One was specifically designed to put women at their ease and allow them to go in alone.

Old syle pubs with stained glass windows which mewn yiu can't see in, can't see who's in there etc. Are very off-putting to women, so ABO set out to create big windows good lighting, long tables so you can get chatting to other people while you wait for your friend etc.

Yanbu. She is.

yanbu

there's no way i'd be hanging about st.vincent street tonight. it's baltic!

You're both being unreasonable?

I don't see why it should matter that the people inside could see you outside. I would mind about standing outside in the cold. Not odd to order yourself a drink, I'll often order one for the person I'm wating for.

Ridiculous to insist to wait outside.

I can see where she's coming from as I've always hated walking into crowded places by myself, but in this weather no way would I want to wait outside!

She is BU - I was like that when I was 18....in dodgy dark old mens pubs.

I once went on an Internet meet up with someone who insisted on ebing met outside as she was anxious about going into the building herself and waiting. She was a very needy person

Does she live in the 1950s?

she is bu. Is she worried people may think she isn't ladylike? or she has been stood up?

i have often had a drink on my own (not waiting for anyone) and have got some pitying looks

YANBU. It's All Bar One fgs.

When I first came to Glasgow the Public Bars (as opposed to the Lounge) were still the sole provision of old men and I would have baulked at sitting in there by myself because of the evil looks it would have attracted, but these days are thankfully past (mostly).

Mind you, I think it's fine for her to wait outside if she really wants to, just unreasonable to expect you to wait there if you get there first.

YANBU. Why wait outside if there's a perfectly good bar just the other side of the glass?

She is being unreasonable. That is the sort of pub where people meet up, so a woman on her own would not be unusual. In the days before mobile phones I would have probably arranged to meet someone outside a place if it was busy as I hate having to search around, but as you can text "sat by the potted plant, to the left of the bar, near the toilet sign" or similar, and you can faff about with your phone rather than sit twiddling your thumbs.. it isnt unreasonable to expect to meet up with someone inside the place.

She is being unreasonable. I hate that carry on with people, it's so childish. They're the type of people who think 'everyone is looking' at them.

YABU to make an issue of it.
I hate going into crowded pubs in my own and always wait outside. If the person I am meeting is in there I go on in.
Not everyone is as confident as you - if she is a good friend it shouldn't make any difference where you meet!

Ok you get there first you go in. She's then not having to wait in a pub by herself.

She gets there first, she can do what she pleases. Doesn't have to affect you!

Kaluki - of course it makes a difference when it's sleeting whether you wait inside or out

If she only thinks it's odd and isn't actually very very nervous about it, tell her to stop being so stupid, however, if she is actually very nervous about it, either go early so she knows you will def be there or go late and make sure she's the idiot standing outside in the sleet!!

Neither of you is being (are being? oh lord, the Pedants will get me ) unreasonable.

You just feel differently about it.

Solution is easy (for future nights out) tell her that you will arrive at whatever time. If she wants to meet you outside, she should ensure she is there a few minutes early. If she isn't there when you arrive, you'll go in.

If it really matters to her - she will ensure she is the one waiting outside for you.

What's her eyesight like?

Serious question. Mine isn't brilliant and I get anxious about being able to spot people in pubs and as such, prefer to wait outside.

She is a good friend. It wont change our relationship at all - we'll just agree to disagree and in future she can wait outside if she's first, and I'll go in if I'm first and we'll both be happy.