to wonder if anyone else does this and what I'm really wanting when I want another baby?

[FelicityWits]

Every month, like clockwork and linked to ovulation I am sure, I start yearning for another baby. Tears, recriminations, fantasies about leaving DH and finding someone who will get me pregnant. Googling ICSI abroad.

I can't have another baby. V v traumatic crash section and then two further c/s - it took us 5 years to concieve DS1 (DD is older), as I kept m/cing due to scarring in my womb. I love my children. I don't find parenting babies easy at all - my youngest is 4 now and it's so much better (DS1 and 2 v close in age).

DH had a vasectomy after DS2. I was offered sterilisation during the section but said no, I didn't want to close that door for myself, but I agreed to DH having the vasectomy.

DH says no kids ever ever ever. He even says no to fostering and adopting. No more kids ever.

I'm 32 and it feels so final and I hate how final it feels. I want another baby, another toddler, another child, so badly. I love my children beyond all reason and this yearning doesn't lessen or impact that in any way, we are perfect and I must learn to be content with the beautiful family I have.

But I'm not :( It must be hormones. But what is it I want so desperately? Pregnancy was fraught and stressful and occasionally tragic. Birth painful, the early days overwhelming, years of nappies and vomit and put like that no of course I don't want to do it again.

Except I do :(

Yes yes twll to the imaginary family with 7 children! I thought everyone did that?

OP, I yearn for another (I have 3) and I'm sure I would go for it if it was just my decision, even if it would be the 'wrong' decision for our family as a whole. So in a way I'm pleased that my DH categorically says no, as it leaves me free to 'blame' him when I know he's right really. Any chance you could think of it in this way?

Hugs to everyone on this thread

I keep looking at small dogs on the Battersea website . My 2 dc's are more than enough work for me, I'm a LP and had a hysterectomy so no more children ever.

But, still I dream of winning the lottery and adopting lots of small people . Pesky biology.

Rhubarb I think in a way it makes sense - there's this sense perhaps (in my sub/conscious anyway), that I can fight death with life, that if I can create a new life I've fixed past tragedies. Which of course is a huge burden on the concept of the child (I don't put the responsibility on the baby, it's all on me, but it's not the healthiest way to feel).

I think DH's veto of fostering and adopting has really knocked me for six. Of course it is his right to do so. But I feel the need to nurture. I've been thinking today about training as a midwife! I like the idea of supporting families if I can't add to my own.

I've yearned for a baby for years. I cannot afford it as my DS1 is severly disabled and we have no fucking choice but to be on bastard benefits.

I turned 30 last year and I am the same, although different situation as I have no DC but have a 3yr old DSD. Every month when I'm ovulating, I just want to cry with jealously when I see pregnant women, when my DP is reading his daughter a bedtime story, when they are making shortbread... The list goes on and on. My body just screams I WANT ONE TOO!! Sometimes a cry a little when my ovulation ends and DP and I have had no 'accidents'this month. You poor thing, it must be hard but at least you have too lovely little ones to keep you going. X

My problem is that I spend too much time around horses! All the mares are totally hormonal at the moment because of the warm weather, and I'm just following suit! I saw my nieces yesterday, 18months to 4 years, and today I'm just fit to burst with broodiness! I keep eying up the stallion speculatively!!

I'm 28 and we have four children. Our youngest is almost 2. I've had 4 straight forward, natural births. We have 2 of each and all four are completely healthy (so far). I've never had trouble conceiving. I've never had an abortion or a miscarriage. I am so grateful for the luck we have been blessed with, BUT I physically ache for another. It's a feeling that is deep in my stomach and catches in my throat. It hurts.

My sister has just had twins and while visiting, a new mum walked out with her baby in her arms. Out of nowhere this lump appeared in my throat and I had tears in my eyes. I wanted to be her.

I just can't accept that we are not ever going to have anymore. As much as I love my children, and my god I LOVE THEM, I can't help but feel that having my babies was the best time of my life and it's behind me. It's all just a memory.

I can go weeks and not even think about it, and then I see something, or smell something and this wave of broodiness drowns me for a short while and after some tears and talking it goes away again, until next time.

You know... I was really hoping that once I'd had a child, this feeling would go away, but I think I'm the only childless one on the thread and!