Not to be concerned about my Y1 DDs academic progress,

[RedHotPokers]

or about the quality of teaching at her school, or about how she measures up against her peers, or whether she is bored/being stimulated/challenged by the curriculum.

I feel like the only parent of an infant aged child who is not stressing about reading level, handwriting skills, mathematical capabilities. Surely the key thing for a 5yo is for them to be socialising well and happy in a school environment.

Did people used to worry so goddamn much about little childrens academic achievements? Part of me thinks everyone needs to pace themselves a bit lest they spontaneously combust with school-related worry before their DCs get to secondary school.

YANBU ...I will be the same as you with dd3.

but it took me 3 kids to have that opinion :)

YANBU at all. My dd 4.10 has just started Foundation year in MS school, she has SEN, so its really not worth comparing her as it will only get me . I am just comparing her on her progress last year and she has made so much progress.

she has a statement

Completely up to you if you want to be part of the competitive disinterest brigade.

YABU.

You should be concerned about the quality of teaching at school - it seems shocking for parents not to concern themselves with the quality of teaching or any of the rest of the things you mention.

I can only assume that this is pretty much a stealth boast and your DD is at a great school and reading brilliantly. Try having a child near the bottom of the Y1 class who needs extra help before implying that those of us in that position are neurotic.

yanbu we choose the dcs school over the 'outstanding' ones (it had a good) on two things; firstly that they put pastural care over academic concerns and that the head said that they won't 'hothouse' for the grammar schools.

Perfect imo. And in fact they have thrived there both socially and academically. At that age it should be about having fun and learning social skills and developing a love of learning. Not having stuff shoved down their throats.

YANBU. I think they start school too young in this country. Son 2 went to school about 3 days after his fourth birthday, full time straight away, no choice here about deferring. He's now in year 1, his main achievement last year was learning how to get changed for PE in under 15 minutes. That'll do me - if he's happy so am I.

His teacher was very relieved to hear this at parents' meeting, she was worried we'd be worried, if you see what I mean.

I'm a teacher. I've seen enough pushy parents to realise it's not always the best option.

We'll agree to disagree. My DS has severe SN and I still want him to achieve the best he possibly can, of course I don't compare him to everyone, but I definitely want him to be stimulated as much as possible. Same goes for my nt child.

YANBU

I am choosing my daughter's school mainly on the basis of convenience and also some continuity for her as her pre-school is within that school. It has a reasonable record for everything and the atmosphere seems nice so I am going with it. I need to check any implications for later education (we're in Canada and I am only learning the system) but in general, I am happy that she'll be in a reasonably familiar environment that is close to where I work so easy for drop off etc.
I am also not worrying about the fact that although her swimming teacher in the summer said she could skip stage 2 and go to stage 3, I chose to keep her in stage 2 rather than fast-track her. She's not even 4 yet, she has plenty of time to learn to swim!!

DD is at the local school, which I think is fairly average. She is certainly not reading brilliantly, although just because I don't want to get dragged into excessive education-related worry, doesn't mean I don't take an active part in listening to her read, do homework etc.

This is not a stealth boast at all. Or competitive disinterest. Rather a big {sigh} about the stress and worry and focus on excellence and achievement above all else that is so prevalent.

Exactly Endoplasmic!

We had a letter home the other day saying "would parents please ensure that their children have actually read the reading books before changing them, it's not a race" - although it was put more diplomatically!

We've also had one home saying "some parents have asked for more reading books over the holidays" - all a bit conspicuous, if you see what I mean - these children can't just read, they've got to be seen to be doing it...

I have also had the benefit of schooling two of my children in a different system.They start school later here, it works out much better.

My eldest did nursery thru Yr2 in the UK, seeing the competitive parents spying the Biff chip, and Kipper levels in the book bags was a sight to behold!

I am glad I have learnt to step back a bit. Like you op I will still take an interest and help my DD ...I just won't have the worry of what everyone else's child is up to.

YANBU. My ds (yr 1) is happy at school and that is all I care about.
He probably is near the bottom of his class, but that is because of his individual development and not the school. There is nobody in the school making him feel that he is bottom of the class and that is the main thing.

My DD started in her school TWO WEEKS after her third birthday. Granted only in nursery class, but it was a split N/YR class, so essentially the same as 'real' school. She has always enjoyed school/nursery which is why I was happy for her to start when she did, but its still terribly young IMO.

As for the ORT competitiveness! I mean really, what is the point!?

I am quite relieved to read this. My DS is in yr1 and doing ok I think but recently I've been worrying that I don't listen to him read his school books enough (he reads lots of random things and some books from home and I don't discourage his reading, I just don't push him). I've been worrying that I'm putting him at a disadvantage and if he doesn't get "ahead" he won't be enthused enough to keep going.

I keep trying to close my ears to friends' comments of which level book their child is on and what they are learning to spell this week but it's getting harder.

We do lots of "educational" fun things and encourage his interest in things so having read what Endo said I think we'll keep doing just that (with maybe a little more structured reading!)

I think YABU to be unconcerned about the quality of teaching at your dd's school, and slightly U not to at least make sure she's not struggling.

YANBU at all to not worry about her peers, or which tick boxes your dd ticks.

A kind of middle of the road appraoch is perfectly acceptable.

It IS easier though when your child is happy and the feed back at parent evenings is always 'fine'. I think I'd stress more if my boys were struggling or I was getting negative feedback.

Thinking back though, when my eldest was in Yr 1 the emphasis was still strongly on fostering a love of school. He had a bit of a shock in year 2, and a bigger one in Year 3, he came home on the first day of being a junior and declared that school was now serious.

Oh yes, the competitive Biff & Kipper business. One woman gets them out of her DD's bag and waves them about every morning. I was thinking of making special faked up stickers for my DS's books just to rile her.

Aldi - I suppose my OP was a bit flippant. I feel I would know if my DD was struggling, and I think I would know if the school was a terrible school. I just don't feel the need to agonise and worry over everything. Although its worth noting that I believe strongly in sending children to their local schools where possible ( I realise this isn't always so easy in some areas of the country).

Procrastinating - or you could just put 'The Hobbit' into her bag and talk loudly about free reading!!!

Feminine - oh god yes, I remember that, the parents who would be desperately trying to see the colour level of other children's Chip, Biff & Kipper books through the plastic bookbag thingymajigs - just in case anyone was on a higher level than their DC .

Personally, OP, I think YANBU at all. I had a very similar attitude with DS2. DS1 has SN and has to be pushed a bit or would literally achieve nothing mind you.

Sorry Redhot I should have used the word 'if' a little more... I did imply you didn't care, I didn't mean to imply that! I agree with you I think

Good idea Pokers! Although I fear the woman's daughter would come off worse.

With DD1 it was all new so was a bit of a worrier about all the reading levels. I also used to ask her what group or table she was with and who else was in that group so I could work out if she was keeping up with the 'clever' ones!

DD2 is in reception this year and my attitude is much more relaxed. Yes we do reading and phonics and i take an active interest but I no longer measure her against anyone else. As long as they are happy and doing ok - Im happy.

I'll tell you the point of the ORT "competitiveness":

ORT levels are virtually the only "universal" way to compare how children are doing when they're in year 1.

I would like to know all the reading levels of the children in my DS's class. I don't care which individual children are on which levels, I would just like to know something like:

9 children are on level 4.
9 children are on level 5.
1 child is on level 8.
1 child is on level 2.

So that if my child was the child on level 2, I could see clearly that having been exposed to the same teaching as the other 19 children, he was doing the worst. Then I could figure out why. Is he dyslexic? Is he not concentrating? Is he not enjoying school?

You totally miss the point thinking that it is competitiveness.